AIBU to ask the signs that you child has high functioning autism

[poppypoppet2020]

My son is 12. When he was a toddler he used to put his hands over his ears during singing as he couldn't stand the sound. He still can't stand it now. He also hates the sound of pencils and has had to use erasable pens since he started learning to write. He also has a very sensitive sense of smell and literally can't bear certain smells. He is quite introverted, but then so am I, and he also has a tendency to daydream and is obsessed with certain things like Minecraft and wants to talk about it all the time, but then so do a lot of children. I think he has a lot empathy and is mindful of people's feelings. In comparison to his brother, he is very different. He is very stubborn and not easy going about anything. I think his sensory issues and obsessions make me wonder if he has autism albeit high functioning. Or are these just typical 'quirks'?.

[toconclude]

Could be, but only proper diagnosis would confirm. Whether that would be useful depends on what impact the things you mention are having.

[Lougle]

Sensory issues on their own aren't necessarily a sign of ASD. But they can come alongside ASD. The love of Minecraft could be perfectly normal. What would make it 'interesting' is how your DS responds to other people he is talking to. For example, would your DS pick up that the other person wasn't interested, or would he barrel on regardless? If someone said something he disagrees with about Minecraft, could he discuss it, or would he find it absolutely ridiculous that they thought something different to him?

It's the social interaction etc., that marks ASD.

[Leaannb]

For a minute I thought you were describing my 12 yo. Especially with the pencil thing. My 12 yo only uses a laptop now. He does have high functioning autisim. So high he wasn't diagnosed until last October. The reality is that the spectrum is so broad its really hard to determine over the internet. I definitely think you have compelling reasons to want to investigate it throughly

[autumnboys]

Lougle has made my point - it’s the social communication that really stood out for DS3 and for every other ASD kid we know.

[Leaannb]

@Lougle

Sensory issues on their own aren't necessarily a sign of ASD. But they can come alongside ASD. The love of Minecraft could be perfectly normal. What would make it 'interesting' is how your DS responds to other people he is talking to. For example, would your DS pick up that the other person wasn't interested, or would he barrel on regardless? If someone said something he disagrees with about Minecraft, could he discuss it, or would he find it absolutely ridiculous that they thought something different to him?

It's the social interaction etc., that marks ASD.

Not always...My 12 yo is very social and very popular with his peer group. He can talk to almost anyone no matter the age. Only people who know him extremely well can tell if he is becoming "iffy"
You can see him moving his fingers in a set pattern.. Doesn't mean he isn't Autistic

[LauraMipsum]

It's a myth that autistic people have no empathy. It's just sometimes differently expressed. I would want to investigate more in your shoes.

[Pickledonionsfortea]

Does he understand and use body language and facial expression during conversations? Does he have proper dialogues rather than monologues? Does he adapt to change reasonably well (you mention stubbornness)? Does he understand and make allowances for other points of view? Does he show genuine interest in other people? If so he might not have HFA, but on the other hand if social interaction leaves him exhausted he may be good at masking. A diagnosis is the only way of knowing, and it may be worth pursuing it now as the process is so long. It is likely you will have a better idea yourself over the next couple of years as puberty often highlights an underlying problem.

[Lostinagoodbook]

I'm going to follow this conversation as my nearly 5 year old is exactly like this and I have similar concerns that something is "off". Think it may be sensory though as socially he seems ok.

Since turning 4 he's also started acting aggressively when hungry/ thirsty/ needs the loo/too hot/cold etc. Always been very sensitive to sensory things. The thing holding me back speaking to the gp is that he was "fine" at nursery. Although sometimes use to lose it when I pick him up! Struggles massively with change.I'm going to watch and wait carefully as school starts.. ........

[User56770987]

Hyper sensitive person? Google it.

[Lougle]

It's true that two people can be complete opposite but still have ASD. DD2 has ASD and won't talk to anyone unless she has to. DD1 is just being referred for ASD assessment (she already has other dx and goes to special school) and she talks to everyone. It's still a social interaction 'difficulty', just expressed differently.

DD1 talks the hind legs off a donkey at times, but she's not looking at the person she's talking to - she's just saying what she wants to say.

[BlatheringOn]

Is anyone else in the family/extended family ASD? In my experience it is genetic (over time we have realised that we have aspies on both sides of the family).

[Emeraldshamrock]

Sounds more like SPD than autism if he is meeting other milestones.

[Lostinagoodbook]

@Lougle that's my ds to a t!! He talks "at" you and talks to anyone and everyone..... talks to himself and literally monologues all day in his own little world.......

[britespark1]

My 8 yr old was diagnosed with ASD, specifically Aspergers last year and very much does the monotone monologue thing! He really doesn’t seem to care if the people he’s talking to are interested/responding or not, he just carries on regardless!


Socially, he does better than his NT brothers! Very chatty, friendly and has his good little group of friends. He does struggle with change, relies massively on routine and knowing what’s to come.

[Lostinagoodbook]

That's really interesting- my ds is like this, very sociable but I feel something is "off" like he's not really engaging properly iyswim? Definitely need to watch him- his sensory issues cause him quite a bit if anxiety and be really gets very emotional. I'll look and the sensory processing thing too.

[ChristmasFluff]

My son has sensory processing disorder (SPD) and dyspraxia, and this sounds like him. He was assessed for autism, but he apparently was so clearly full of empathy for others that it wasn't that. (I could have told them that)

What you are describing are all symptoms of sensory overwhelm, which can be part of autism (I work with young adults with autism), but doesn't necessarily mean autism.

[Flamingolingo]

I have a 6yo with an Aspergers diagnosis. The thing I always say to other parents is that the autistic traits aren’t necessarily things that only autistic people have/do, many of them are found in neurotypical people too. The key is around how well they function in day to day life/social situations.

My child is hugely empathetic (almost too empathetic), and very very intelligent. He does do the deep interest thing to a point, but it’s not a fixed interest. It’s more that he’s prone to ‘mansplaining’. He can be hugely mature in terms of his conversations, and hugely immature in his ability to deal with certain social situations, especially when it involves interpreting his own feelings. He is quick to anger and lacks impulse control. I think it’s this dichotomy between his academic ability and his social/emotional ability that marks him out as being different.

[ChristmasFluff]

@Lostinagoodbook - getting aggressive when particular physical needs are not met is not necessarily a sign of anything other than normal physiology - hence the term 'hangry' - and rioting in summer and so on.

[Bessica1970]

To those who’ve said their DC has Aspergers - when did you get your diagnosis? Aspergers hasn’t been a separate condition for about three years now. New diagnosis is just ASD regardless of level of functioning.

[Bessica1970]

I have two DC with ASD, one classic in expression but the other is very empathetic (but obviously very ASD in other ways), many girls with ASD don’t show up on empathy tests and many boys don’t either.

[Flamingolingo]

@Bessica1970 not true - it varies by trust. Our diagnosis is less than a year old, and I queried it because I too thought it was an outdated diagnosis. But it is a diagnosis that is sometimes still used in our NHS trust

[DrStrangesMagicDressingGown]

• "spiky" development as a baby/toddler - very advanced in some areas but at the tail end of "normal" development for others
• sensory issues (textures, food)
• very focused on interests
• dislikes changes in routine
• loves rules (polices other children at school)
• doesn't read social cues
• can't see things from another's POV without explanation and refuses to compromise
• quick to anger (and hit out which was frequent til about at 6, and occasionally happens now at 8)

(Not an exhaustive list!)

[BogRollBOGOF]

DS was diagnosed around his 9th birthday; referral made at 7.

Similar to what OP describes, also he had a history of speech delay as a toddler. Tends to monologue at people. Makes eye contact with "safe" people (at the appointment when he was diagnosed he was clearly talking to the consultant but focused on me. Will often focus on something like the Lego model that he's talking about rather than the person he's talking to. His speech patterns can be repetitive and he'll latch on to phrases easily and often slightly misapply them, current one is "upper hand" which isn't always a flowing substitute for "advantage". He also tends to overuse names so will start "Mummy" but the use it repeatedly through the conversation. I don't know if it comes from my battles to engage his attention to conversation and I have to repeat his name more than average. He does it to DS2 as well.

Took a long time to play with others rather than alongside. Took a long time to develop genuine friendships. He's well liked and respected though. Can talk at quite an adult level. Aged 6, he had us talking for over an hour about the causes of WW2 and Titler's" strategies. His attention span can be very focused and in depth and good luck if it's not on his agenda...

Hates me and DS2 talking to strangers, to the point of physically recoiling sometimes. Hates things like fancy dress that distort non verbal communication.

Masks at school (and previously nursery) but then becomes exhausted. Needs a buffer between school and extra curriculars.

"Tantrummed" for years for all kinds of non-obvious reasons that have made much more sense with hindsight. Had a meltdown over brushing his teeth and missed half his brother's birthday party because it lasted over an hour. His pb is 4 hours because I asked him to change a reading book (one of my final straws leading to referral). Cafés on holiday are a trigger point as they can cause sensory overwhelm, and not knowing exactly what the food will be like. Favours predictable chains.

Generally anxious and perfectionist (perfectionist confirmed in QB test)

Can empathise in odd ways... I let him watch Hot Fuzz thinking the violence was slapstick enough. He loved all the shoot 'em up scenes (and told me about the gun models courtesy of Smithsonian Channel) but sobbed when Nick Angel smashed the lily on the trolley boy's head "He loved that plant!" (He was reassured that it could be safely repotted with no lasting harm ) and he equated that love with his love for his favourite cuddly, but if he's having a dispute with his brother over their cuddlies, his feelings will override his brother's and he can't feel his brother's worry over his anger. He also struggles with appologies as he usually feels justified in what he did , and he's rubbish at a token one to make people feel better. He can occasionally muster sarcasm, and he's probably made about 5 genuine appologies in his life. It's generally not worth the social mess of trying to push a social niceity appology.

Fantastic child...usually Tends to present fairly normally, but when I did a mindmap of all his social/ sensory and random quirks, the page filled up rapidly and dots started joining up.

[waltzeswithsnobs]

@lostinagoodbook

My DS is eerily similar, right down to the age. Until you mentioned him talking. Mine has significant communication issues.

[Lostinagoodbook]

@Christmasfluff that's handy to know reacting aggressively in those situations can be usual. I know about being hangry but was struggling with the full bladder tantrums/pre-poo etc!! Also like many pre schoolers is resistant to being to go so gets like that instead. Never has an accident though.