I'd appreciate some perspective.
DH and I are both immigrants living in a country which isn't our birthplace. We own a modest apartment we purchased just after getting married.
SIL decided in summer last year that she also wanted to relocate to this country and asked if she could have the spare room for a few months whilst she settled in.
We agreed to this. I did so on the basis it was a temporary arrangement while she found her feet.
I didn't want to be sharing my marital home, but I agreed because having had experience of relocating to another country, I understand the complexities and the time it takes to settle in and organise everything. I also do get on well with SIL. We charged a below market rent which basically just covered bills.
It was fine to begin with, but then, in my opinion, she started to take advantage. To be fair, I do like having my own space, enjoy cooking and having free use of the kitchen etc, so perhaps I am not being entirely reasonable.
The TV was on all day, she wasn't doing any cleaning. DH is not supportive with this, and I did ask him to talk to her about this, but his response was that I should.
Anyway, one day she decided to move her boyfriend in. She had previously had him round for probably 2 nights a month which we were fine with, on the understanding it was not to be a regular occurence.
The boyfriend offered nothing in the way of contribution for bills, doesn't work (and says he has no plans ever to do so) and was in the house all day everyday playing computer games.
After putting up with this for 2 weeks (yes, stupid) we told them this wasn't to continue. They then found somewhere else to live. Now 5 months later, SIL wants to move back because things aren't working out.
I am not happy about this. As far as DH is concerned, she could live here permanently for as long as she likes. I disagree and think that she needs to find somewhere else to live. The issue with this is it'd be financially hard for her, so I feel like I am being made to feel unkind.
I have, to try and be as fair and kind as possible, said she can come back for a maximum of 1 month while she finds somewhere else to live since she has to move out the apartment with her BF next month.
DH thinks it is unreasonable to set a time limit on it and says if I have a problem it is for me to sort it out (basically).
Am I being unfair, or are my concerns reasonable?
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SIL moving (back) in
52 replies
secondtime123 · 22/06/2020 13:10
OP posts:
Am I being unreasonable?
287 votes. Final results.
POLL
You are being unreasonable
1%
You are NOT being unreasonable
99%
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