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To abandon attempts to do all of DD's schoolwork?

(42 Posts)
Thefifthbeatle Wed 13-May-20 13:28:38

DD is 6, in Year 1. She is pretty bright but absolutely hates being told that she's wrong. (That's another thread; we've talked lots to her about nothing being perfect, mistakes being good things, etc.) Her school are sending home:
* 1 x maths and 1 x phonics lessons every day
* 2/3 other separate lessons every day - science, geography, music, english, grammar, etc
* a reading book every day
* spellings
* other things they are meant to do, such as watch pre-recorded assemblies, PE lessons for the garden, etc.

This literally takes us a bare minimum of 4-5 hours of learning each day, not including breaks. As DD points out, she is doing more work than they do in school itself. This week has been particularly horrendous. Every lesson has turned into an argument, she refuses to do it, and it feels as though we have fought all day. This feels really upsetting as for the first few weeks of lockdown, I was really pleased at how much calmer and less stressed the two of us were when we weren't having to rush everywhere, etc. My poor toddler is also barely getting any time with me.

I'm also trying to cram in some work of my own and I am a bit worried that my stress at trying to get that done is causing me to rush her through her work and making matters worse.

How much work are your year 1 DC doing? If I just do the maths and phonics, is that the end of the world? I am really worried about the damage this will do to our relationship if we carry on like this.

OP’s posts: |
RonObvious Wed 13-May-20 13:36:00

Bloody hell - my son is doing very little! We have been sent a list of suggested activities, but nothing like that. I try and work on his writing in the morning, and then we do some spellings in the afternoon, and he watches the daily BBC bitesize. We do a bit of reading here and there too. He really struggles with the idea of doing school work at home, so have had to be a bit inventive to find ways to encourage him to work! He's also pretty emotional and stressed, so my priority is keeping him calm and happy, rather than worrying too much about keeping up with school work. 6 is still pretty young.

Reginabambina Wed 13-May-20 13:41:00

It would be more productive to tackle her failure issues than to do the work set. Our son (also year one) developed a bit of a failure complex this year (not surprising, his teacher is basically the embodiment of stress). He was actually so damaged that he was getting worried about starting work because he was scared he’d get it wrong. We’d spend half an hour trying to talk him into a 3 minute worksheet. In the end we stopped doing the work and instead focused on praising him for trying and also making a point of saying how good it was that he made x mistake because we learned y from it. Now he’s doing the work quickly and with no complaints.

WickedlyPetite Wed 13-May-20 13:41:09

That's a ridiculous amount.

A bit of maths and phonics in the morning, a good pre or post lunchtime walk with a bit of "how many different types of trees/different insects/birds/red cars/whatever can we spot" then some unsupervised crafting, reading, tablet or TV (while you get on with your own stuff) in the afternoon is a good enough day.

june2007 Wed 13-May-20 13:42:13

Little and often is my way.

FiddlefigOnTheRoof Wed 13-May-20 13:50:04

At that age, I think it’s appropriate to do 1-2 worksheets of maths and phonics/handwriting in the morning, then in the afternoon some free time reading and 1-2 worksheets of another School or nonschool session that they enjoy eg art, cake making, etc. We’ve binned anything extra such as PE, PSHE, RE, drama.

FiddlefigOnTheRoof Wed 13-May-20 13:50:31

That is, 1-2 worksheets each of maths and phonics.

minipie Wed 13-May-20 13:56:55

I have one in reception and one in year 2 so either side of yours. School are sending a very similar amount to what you describe.

I spent the first couple of weeks trying to do it all and getting utterly frazzled (Me and them). Then an email came from school saying they’d had feedback it was too much so their recommendation was to take it day by day and to focus on the English and Maths.

So that’s what we are doing. We do the English and Maths every day (I won’t lie, sometimes that still causes conflict but it’s much less than before!) and then we may or may not do some of the other stuff depending on how much they want to/energy/time etc.

We are all much happier following this approach.

PS My DD also hates being told she’s got anything wrong, she even hates being given advice or suggestions on how to approach something even if it’s going to make it easier for her ... I feel your pain!

ranoutofquinoaandprosecco Wed 13-May-20 13:57:42

I've a DS in year 1 and a DD in year 4. I work 9-2 4 days. While I work they start with joe wicks or of noodle then I set them up with whatever school has sent for maths and English they have a break around 10 and at lunch and then after lunch for about an hour they do something else that school has suggested. We're not doing any school work today as it's my non working day. I think you just have to do what you can.

Porcupineinwaiting Wed 13-May-20 14:01:20

One Y7 and one Y9 - they are doing 6 hours or so a day (sometimes a little more, sometimes a little less).

If I had a Y6 child I'd be encouraging 3 hours or so and not necessarily the stuff the school sent either, unless it was something they were likely to enjoy or tackled an area of particular weakness.

CaptainMyCaptain Wed 13-May-20 14:02:03

My DD is a teacher but shielding at the moment. Her children's school is sending loads of work but she took the decision to concentrate on English and Maths and leave the rest. Other people she knows are trying to do all of it and getting upset, the children get upset and it's a vicious circle. You don't have to do it all.

Mintjulia Wed 13-May-20 14:21:06

Op, that’s what I have for my 12yo
English & Maths plus two other topics daily plus an hour of exercise plus a quiz or assembly. And I’ve compromised to get him to do it.

Asking a 6 yo for the same amount is absurd. I’d limit it to maths & phonics plus one other thing - mornings only, and then relax. Perhaps read with both of them for half an hour.

myself2020 Wed 13-May-20 14:24:03

We have 30 minutes english and maths every day, then another 2 times 30 minutes if other subjects (french, geography, history, topic, science) that are obligatory.
3 30 minutes lessons (art, design, biology, writing) that are voluntary but very much encouraged in the afternoon, plus assembly in the morning. so about 4 hours all in all (without the breaks), and some homework

myself2020 Wed 13-May-20 14:24:29

forgot, year 2 as well

recededpronunciation Wed 13-May-20 15:07:08

My year 8 aged 13 gets 30 minutes of work set for each of the 6 timetabled lessons in the day - so a maximum of 3 hours a day, less if there is games that day. No extra homework beyond that. It’s plenty and they’re getting through a lot. At age 6 I’d be doing maths and literacy and not worrying too much about the other stuff is she’s happily playing the rest of the time.

minipie Wed 13-May-20 15:14:55

Those getting lots even with quite small children - are you at private schools? We are and I think part of the reason DCs’ school sends so much is to justify the fees. There were some prep parents who were very “where’s my value for money” as lockdown started so guess the schools are responding to them

Aroundtheworldin80moves Wed 13-May-20 15:15:29

Daily tasks from school... Maths, reading, phonics if required.
Weekly... A longer English exercise (this week it's making an animal factile). And another subject (this week we have geography). Plus a 'wellbeing' project.

I ask her to write or draw in her reading diary, do some handwriting practice, something active and something creative.

She's in Yr2.

Di11y Wed 13-May-20 15:22:06

I've been trying to do maths, English, phonics/spelling and reading daily. averages about 1.5 hrs a day as I'm also working and want to keep my job!

Ozzie9523 Wed 13-May-20 15:25:25

That’s a lot, my year 3 isn’t getting anything like that. I’d just stick to the basics tbh and make sure she reads most days.

Maybelatte Wed 13-May-20 15:43:56

With a year 1 child I wouldn’t bother with formal learning, they can learn through play more effectively. Make it fun so she learns without realising she is.

Thefifthbeatle Wed 13-May-20 16:29:20

@minipie, yes, it's an independent school. You are probably right, but it's piling the pressure on all of them. I can't wait for half term!

OP’s posts: |
Newuser123123 Wed 13-May-20 16:32:29

My daughter is the same age and we have done zero and aren't planning on starting. My only aim is to get the kids through this happy and not traumatised (I realise that means different things for different people).

minipie Wed 13-May-20 16:32:40

I bet if you spoke to the teacher they would tell you not to worry about it.

SomeHalfHumanCreatureThing Wed 13-May-20 16:34:19

That's an insane amount of work!

Fluffybutter Wed 13-May-20 16:37:23

My dd is 9 but we’ve just been doing English , maths and reading /handwriting practice .

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