To abandon attempts to do all of DD's schoolwork?

[Thefifthbeatle]

DD is 6, in Year 1. She is pretty bright but absolutely hates being told that she's wrong. (That's another thread; we've talked lots to her about nothing being perfect, mistakes being good things, etc.) Her school are sending home:

• 1 x maths and 1 x phonics lessons every day
  
• 2/3 other separate lessons every day - science, geography, music, english, grammar, etc
  
• a reading book every day
  
• spellings
  
• other things they are meant to do, such as watch pre-recorded assemblies, PE lessons for the garden, etc.
  
  This literally takes us a bare minimum of 4-5 hours of learning each day, not including breaks. As DD points out, she is doing more work than they do in school itself. This week has been particularly horrendous. Every lesson has turned into an argument, she refuses to do it, and it feels as though we have fought all day. This feels really upsetting as for the first few weeks of lockdown, I was really pleased at how much calmer and less stressed the two of us were when we weren't having to rush everywhere, etc. My poor toddler is also barely getting any time with me.
  
  I'm also trying to cram in some work of my own and I am a bit worried that my stress at trying to get that done is causing me to rush her through her work and making matters worse.
  
  How much work are your year 1 DC doing? If I just do the maths and phonics, is that the end of the world? I am really worried about the damage this will do to our relationship if we carry on like this.

[RoseMartha]

That is more than my 13 year olds will do.

I would do a bit of it with her, maybe you can choose one each in the morning and the same in the afternoon and try to vary the subjects you choose as you go through the week.

Try and work some bits onto activities also. Ie cooking, board game.

You can always do the reading at bedtime.

[Thefifthbeatle]

Thanks everyone. I think we're going to have a more relaxed approach from now on. I fear for my sanity otherwise.

[mogtheexcellent]

Christ you are the first person with a Y1 child I've seen who has more work than mine. I gave up a few weeks back. I try but can only manage a couple of things a day.

Shes an excellent reader so I'm ignoring reading. Her maths is pretty good so we do the first lesson on a subject and the follow up practise lessons I ignore.

You just have to do the best you can.

[mummysherlock]

My DS is in year 1, he has been doing maths, phonics, reading and handwriting practice with maybe some art or music if he is up for it. I also have DD in year 3, her daily work is usually maths, English, reading and some topic work. We normally start at 9.30 and finish at about 1pm. DD can do most of her work independently but still needs some of the concepts for maths explaining to her first, and DS needs my help with it all. We still don’t manage everything that the school sends every day, but by 1pm they are both tired of school work (and so am I). DP is a keyworker so all home learning is down to me. I’ve been furloughed and can’t imagine what my stress levels would be like if I was having to work from home aswell.

[everythingthelighttouches]

Nousernameforme

Exactly the large amount of work sets expectations. In my case, it gives me the impression we are way way behind the rest.

[Nousernameforme]

We are in the same year group as op but in a state school. We have,
phonics,
mental maths,
reading,
handwriting,
English usually write a sentence or two or worksheets,
have parent read topic book to you this is an ongoing thing,
Written maths (worksheets)
Afternoon is topic based usually involves a video and a cut out and do activity or music or art.
Whilst I have been told not to worry too much about it there is a large element of not wanting them to be left behind and being the only one going back with hardly anything done.

[Leodot]

Hi OP,

Have you spoken to your child’s teacher about it? I’m sure they would be understanding as we know the challenges that parents are facing with home schooling, especially if you are wfh and have more than one child. I’m a teacher in a state school and we are sending out work daily but we have spoken to many parents and said do what you can and no more. We know that will look different for everyone. We are sending the work out to everyone, as there will always be those that want that level but it’s not meant to make you feel guilty and stressed if you aren’t doing it all. Maybe prioritise maths and phonics and then do a little of something else in an afternoon. Honestly, looking after yours and your child’s mental health is the most important thing right now.

Maybe because it’s a private school, they feel under pressure to justify you still paying the fees and are also managing the expectations that they should be able to provide more as they have better resources and less children than state schools? Have you spoken to any other parents in your child’s class for support? Would that help you?

[myself2020]

Thing is, it’s distance education, not holidays. if they don’t do it now, they’ll have to do double later. i don’t want mine to have to catch up (we are both working fulltime and my oldest is very dyslexic and dysgraphic- he can’t fall behind, that would be diseastrous)

[everythingthelighttouches]

OP I could have written your post.

Every day my ds (in yr2) at state school and gets maths worksheets, spelling, grammar, writing, Topic, PE, plus expected to do TT rockstars, readtheory and reading aloud for30 min per day. We are sent tests at the end of the week to check learning and expected to photograph work and send in regularly.

Yesterday I had an email checking up on why we didn’t do the test on Monday . Are we covering the maths? Is he learning?

My DH and I are both working from home in stressful jobs and yesterday we all reached the end of our tethers.

My son has an ehcp, one to one support for 25 hours per week at school normally.

I am crumbling. I wrote to his teacher to say it’s all getting too much and we’re taking a few days off of formal work (I listed a loads of activities I’d do instead) for the sake of our ds’ mental health.

They have not responded yet, I’m sure the teacher will when they get the chance. I just want someone to say that’s fine, totally understandable.

And some sort of recognition from school that my son isn’t expected to cover everything, given his situation.

[flower191]

That's loads
I've got a year 2 child who's dyslexic and reception child.
year two we focus on phonics and we're taking this opportunity to really focus on teaching him to read and learning all his phonics that he should have learnt in year one plus writing, we do an hour max each morning, we do try to fit some maths in too but don't usually get chance
Reception- book, phonics, and a bit of writing and small amount of maths.

[PickUpAPickUpAPenguin]

At her age I'd be doing a daily maximum of
30 minutes of reading (1 reading book could be 20 pages or a book with chapters depending on ability)
30 minutes of maths
30 minutes of writing/phonics/spelling


I would try and watch educational stuff or the assemblies with her during downtime as they are good for general knowledge purposes.

[WillYouDoTheFandango]

DS is 7, year 2. He loves maths so does all the set maths on Monday. Hates spellings so I make him do half one day and half on another. Beyond that we have been watching some BBC bite size, googling some science experiments to do and he reads a few chapters of any book before bed.

We only do about an hour in total a day plus his reading to himself. His school has subscriptions to Purple Mash, TT rock stars and numbots so he might do half an hour on one of those too.

I’m working full time from home and was so guilty I wasn’t doing enough but his teacher rang him and he rattled off a list of all the fun experiments we’ve done and didn’t mention the ignoring him while I work, so I feel a bit better! His teacher told me not to worry about doing all or any of the set work so I’m trying not to.

[qweryuiop]

Do what she can and try to avoid arguments (as much as as possible). Make sure she works on reading, but the rest is optional in my opinion. The last thing you want is for the child to hate learning when she's only 6. Do some fun learning activities together. There's a mum on Classroom Secrets who posts adorable little videos of ways she makes learning fun for her boys in R and Y2.

The school will be setting a lot for fear that parents will complain if they don't.

[wendz86]

My kids aren’t doing all their work . They are doing English and maths but past that we only do any extra if they want to / We have time as I’m not working .

[coco123456789]

If it’s a private school then that makes sense. The expectation is that you want what you have paid for. That’s quite standard I think, my friends who have kids in private school are making their kids do a full ‘day’ of school at home.

[Poetryinaction]

I get my son to do 1 x phonics (lesson or write his diary) or 1 x maths (lesson or workbook) each day, plus a choice of the other activities (various challenges like PE, art, music, cookery etc).
The rest of the time he plays with his 4 year old sister, colours in, lego, garden etc. He is allowed tv only after dinner.

[123sunny456]

My DS is in yr 4 and I am a TA in his school, so I've got some idea of what to expect. I do the same thing everyday, for consistency. Joe Wicks in the morning, spelling practice and then some comprehension, he is practically reading a book a day so I want to make sure he understands what he's read. English is normally half a page of writing and looking at a grammar term on BBC bitesize. Then lunch for an hour and after that an hour of Maths. We are making the most of all the apps the school have signed up to and most of the time I can leave him too it - it works if I set a timer for each activity so he doesn't get too bored. After that he chooses an alternative subject spanish, geography, human body, cub activities etc, which he does with DD yr7 (she is set work via Google Classroom) . His choice and not for long. We are normally finished by 3 and he has free time to use his xbox.

[Fluffybutter]

My dd is 9 but we’ve just been doing English , maths and reading /handwriting practice .

[SomeHalfHumanCreatureThing]

That's an insane amount of work!

[minipie]

I bet if you spoke to the teacher they would tell you not to worry about it.

[Newuser123123]

My daughter is the same age and we have done zero and aren't planning on starting. My only aim is to get the kids through this happy and not traumatised (I realise that means different things for different people).

[Thefifthbeatle]

@minipie, yes, it's an independent school. You are probably right, but it's piling the pressure on all of them. I can't wait for half term!

[Maybelatte]

With a year 1 child I wouldn’t bother with formal learning, they can learn through play more effectively. Make it fun so she learns without realising she is.

[Ozzie9523]

That’s a lot, my year 3 isn’t getting anything like that. I’d just stick to the basics tbh and make sure she reads most days.

[Di11y]

I've been trying to do maths, English, phonics/spelling and reading daily. averages about 1.5 hrs a day as I'm also working and want to keep my job!