To think it's become petty?

[mumgonemadkg]

To cut a very long story short, Partners ex's have made an "ex-wife club"! They talk all the time even though they apparently hated each other's guts before they were ex's. Me and partner have been together nearly 3 years now and we have two children each from previous and two with each other. So 6 altogether (eldest is 19 youngest 7 months). Never had a problem with either ex's before as never had any interaction with either of them. But now I'm being slagged off all the time by them both and really starting to get pissed off about it all, we're not kids and I have never said a nasty thing or risen to the silly remarks before and still won't but AIBU to think this is just silly and petty? SD has picked up on things being said now and has questioned why her mum hates me? (Their was no affair or anything they split and Divorced before we got together) I have no idea how to answer that as I assumed there was no problem before?!

Sorry it's long I suppose I'm not sure what I'm after or if this is just ranting!

[RonnieBarkingMad]

I was going to say just rise above it and laugh at them but if your stepdaughter is picking up on their behaviour then that is not on. Their behaviour sounds like something from senior school. I would advise not to say anything to your stepdaughter directly as it may (even unintentionally) cause further problems and force her dad to talk to her (and his ex) about it.

YANBU

[Macncheeseballs]

How come they hated each others guts? Was there cross over? Do you think in anyway your dh is part of this scenario

[sparepantsandtoothbrush]

How do you know about this "club" they're all in?

(Genuine question!)

[SecretsInSpitalfield]

Wow! A couple of kids in three years and lots of exes and children etc.. you sound like celebs! What’s so ‘endearing’ about him to be able to get hitched so many times? And the fact that all women are a bit catty .. fat rich old B springs to mind with selfish airheads

[sandragreen]

How on earth do you know about all this?

[Choccyp1g]

Don't worry OP, I'm sure they'll let you join eventually.

[mumgonemadkg]

Haha I wish we were Celebs! 1st ex wasn't married to him, it was a short relationship which didn't work and they had a son he was 5/6 when dad and mum split (19 year old) from what my partners mum said she wasn't nice but things were okay for child. 2nd ex was not long after his split with first but they didn't have child for a long time (SD is nearly 10 now)he walked out as she became abusive and nasty (his mum said she would constantly threaten suicide to get attention and he was accused non stop of cheating with people at work and work even banned her at one point as she started coming in to make sure he was really there. She caused trouble for other ex which is why they hated each other (I don't know what the trouble was but could probably guess). But now all best mates. I found out when I friend of mine let me know I was being slagged off on social media.

[Macncheeseballs]

Eh who was 19? He sure knows how to pick em and you've only heard his side of the story

[mumgonemadkg]

And he was only married to the 2nd ex and he is definitely not rich. they are calling themselves the ex-wife's club I presume for the hell of it.

I'm not sure I would want to join the club ha!

SD is lovely but is sensitive so does worry a lot and I won't be saying anything. I think I'm just not used to being spoken about by people I don't know. I'm nothing special and don't slag or talk about anyone behind their backs, in fact I'm not a confrontational person at all and like to keep myself to myself if I can and not get involved in anything unless needed.

[Shitsgettingcrazy]

Wow....can you really not see the issue?

The common denominator?

They hated eachother when they were him, now you are starting to hate them. His mum says they were both awful, so it just be true?

[VodselForDinner]

To be fair, it sounds like your boyfriend has a pretty shitty history of relationships and having children so no harm being nice to them for when you’re looking for admittance.

[DaysThatEndInWhy]

What a tragic shitshow. Ever wonder what his mum says about you behind your back?

[mumgonemadkg]

@Macncheeseballs
His first child is 19 with 1st ex, very short relationship and wasn't married.

2nd ex was a very long time but didn't have child until later on in relationship, split when child was 6/7 she's now 10,

Me and partner got together after they were divorced, and yes got pregnant (implant failed miserably!!) very early on and then due to a medication mix up got pregnant again very quickly after baby was born (wish I was making this up haha) but we are happy and partner has never given me a reason not to be he's amazing dad and always puts kids first, he doesn't rise to it either and only communicates for SD. Doesn't need to speak to 1st ex for the older one (19).

I suspect it's us not taking any notice of the jibes and remarks that is why it's come to this.

[VodselForDinner]

they had a son he was 5/6 when dad and mum split... 2nd ex was not long after his split with first but they didn't have child for a long time (SD is nearly 10 now)

I’m laughing at a three year gap between having children across two relationships being described as “a long time”.

Some people seem to love making life complicated for themselves.

[NothingIsWrong]

Surely there is a 9 year gap if the eldest is 19 and the SD is 10?

[mumgonemadkg]

@VodselForDinner me and partner have had two in space of 3 years not the others.

[Shitsgettingcrazy]

You got pregnant twice, by accident, in 2 years?

You implant failed, which is rare, they a medication mix up?

Wow, how unlucky!

Did the first ex also get pregnant by accident very quickly?

[Otherrooms]

Don't worry OP, I'm sure they'll let you join eventually.




(Just ignore them OP. )

[Otherrooms]

The ex wives that is!

[VodselForDinner]

Apologies, I misread the ages.

[WickedlyPetite]

Tell your gossipy friend that you don't want to hear about what the ex wives are saying on social media, and just continue to ignore.

Tell your nasty MIL that you aren't interested in hearing her bitch and slag off your partners exes, and just continue to ignore.

If your SD asks why her mum "hates you" tell her you had no idea that she did and if it's true she'll have to ask her mum, and just continue to ignore.

[Loveluella]

This reminds me of a friend who had 2 kids with a bloke. He was full of tales of woe about his two mad exes who were always slagging him/her off. Fast forward a few years and she's now in the ex wives club and understands why they hated him. He's got a new girl pregnant who is hearing all about his crazy exes...and they can't warn her because they look bitter. If a man has a series of mad ex girlfriends, the problem is generally him..

[Wehttam]

OP he’s been around a bit hasn’t he. 🤮 I’d try and do better

[emilybrontescorsett]

You had 2 children with him in under 3 years!
He already had kids with 2 different women.
Not ideal.
Just ignore what they say.

[emilybrontescorsett]

Does he not use contraception?
It's a serious question.