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AIBU?

to despair

40 replies

JohnGriffin · 08/09/2007 12:10

We are locals in a remote area currently being inundated (and 'sanitized') with new-builds for retired people, wealthy foreigners and second home owners. They have their uses but we are all paying the price in the end.
Today, on a rare brilliant morning, riding out with my 9 year old son along a narrow, remote country lane, we were met head on, by a elderly man, obviously enjoying his freedom, in a vast shiny 4 x 4, going like stink, radio blaring, who, with screeching tyres, only just managed to swerve into a hedge to avoid spreading us, in a bloody mess, across the road. We,and our ponies, we were left, fortunately, only very badly shaken.
Could I have expected at least an apology rather than a simple shrug of the shoulders and a vague gesture of the 'c'est la vie' type? He didn't speak our language, or us his.
He drove on, radio still blaring. We led our ponies home.
We're all road users - some to drive, some to walk, cycle or ride. Vehicles are noisy, intrusive, dangerous, pollutants - who/what the fck are their drivers?
I?m so bloody angry, resentful, scared, ?and vengeful. Are we all so totally self absorbed and deluded that the world is ours to do with as we like or want? Just another trivial incident to him in the great scheme of things, probably already forgotten ? but almost certainly a fatal blow to all our future riding/cycling out. I could cry with frustration at the pointless, thoughtless stupidity - and hopelessness - of it all.
Should I have screamed - 'F
ck off back to where you came from you brainless shite' - in the language of his registration plate or simply ended it with a single shot from the revolver I perhaps should have been carrying? - Or report it to the fat disinterested local policeman when he returns from his latest course next week and who will want to tell me how difficult it is to trace the actual driver of a foreign registered vehicle and institute protracted, costly proceedings (if there is considered sufficient evidence) for what is merely a 'near miss' - no harm done - incident.
Rant over......for now

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ruddynorah · 08/09/2007 12:13

did you challenge this at the planning stage?

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JohnGriffin · 08/09/2007 12:25

Challenge the planning? It's big area with literally hundreds of new homes available to or bult by anyone who can pay for them. I have no idea who the man was or where he came from.

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ruddynorah · 08/09/2007 12:39

yes challenge the planning. when these developments are being built are you making your feelings know to the authorities? or is it just this man that's peed you off? what excatly is the problem? that foreigners are moving into your area or that houses are being built? you can't say oh it's all so hopeless if you haven't done a thing about it. although if your problem is where your neighbours come from then that's something you have to get over yourself. maybe try to make friends with them.

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ediemay · 08/09/2007 12:42

I can really understand how upset you are. There are so many vehicles which make their drivers feel completely cushioned from the world through their windscreen and so much appalling driving.

I don't know where you live but we have a lot of high-hedged lanes near us which I am relucyant to walk or cycle down with DS for fear of the nutters driving in the middle of the road.

Did you get his numberplate? If so, report him, he might have been reported before. In the meantime, my sympathy for how shaken up you must feel. So many people seem to think that the countryside is a play centre for their vehicles rather than the home of its locals and their animals.

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kitsandbits · 08/09/2007 12:43

''or simply ended it with a single shot from the revolver I perhaps should have been carrying?''

errr what??

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JohnGriffin · 08/09/2007 12:58

Ruddynorah - Thank you for your interest.. You seem to have missed the point or are being perverse. Drive considerately
Kitsan'bits - poor joke - riding/wild west/John Wayne etc - sorry
ediemay - thank you.

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lornaloo · 08/09/2007 13:04

I know how you feel. We have very narrow lanes near here that are national speed limit. Its just a disaster waiting to happen. Lots horses here too, surely they should takee that into account when deciding on speed limits.
You have every right to be anoyed.

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zookeeper · 08/09/2007 13:30

Bad drivers are awful.

So are nimbys.

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JohnGriffin · 08/09/2007 14:05

Ruddynora - just as I was calming down you bloody chime in with your twopenceworth that shows absolutely no appreciation of anything to do with real rural life. Locals are just that - born and bred - know every other local, who they are, where they are, what they are, their lineage, their connections (extremely important)their needs and aspirations. There's a sort of caste system or hierachy that complicates with marriage, employment, inheritance and a whole host of other factors. It's a minefield. Then there's the powerful 'mafia' families amongst them that control virtually everything through membership/ownership of local, area and County councils (and even, shock horror,corrupt MP's) whose families are the solicitors, the education and health officials, the builders, the architects and engineers,the planning inspectors, the landlords the any business worth running operators. They are not stupid and they are not benevolent benefactors if/when crossed. There is the private justice system. It's their community after all and it's how they want it run and they have taken over 'the system'. Who's to say that's wrong? It's just the way it is.
Locals politely tolerate aliens. They don't need/want the aliens, just their money. Locals have real lives of their own - but they accord the aliens a sort of two faced, back handed respect and make use of them wherever possible. Aliens are immigrants and naturally form their own toothless expat communties and do whatever they do - paint, renovate,exhibit their wealth, prop up the bars and talk crap....Make friends with them? Yeah, right!
You see what you've done? All I wanted to do was rant about people behind steering wheels and now the floodgates have opened...
Venting on mumsnet was clearly a mistake..(wanders off to seek an audience and ask a favour)

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Guitargirl · 08/09/2007 14:14

Is this a joke?

'Lineage'? 'Connections'? 'Toothless expat communities'?

I had no idea people actually thought like this. Thank you for enlightening me.

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zookeeper · 08/09/2007 14:15

have you thought of moving to a city?

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Greensleeves · 08/09/2007 14:16

Are you Boggis, Bunce or Bean?

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zookeeper · 08/09/2007 14:16

Priceless.

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policywonk · 08/09/2007 14:33

Soooo... you hate the locals and the aliens?

I believe that you might have a valid point buried in there somewhere, but it sure is hard to make it out.

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ruddynorah · 09/09/2007 00:05

get a grip love. having grown up in rural cumbria i have a full appreciation of rural life. the best thing is to make friends with people. you however will continue to wallow in this shit.

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naturalblonde · 09/09/2007 00:20

ffs, so someonedrove too fast at, not considerate but it happens. he at least pays road tax unlike horse riders. how did you manage to turn that into a full on rant about corruption in society, immigration, and your idea of 'a private justice system'

'Locals have real lives of their own'
'Aliens are immigrants and naturally form their own toothless expat communties and do whatever they do - paint, renovate,exhibit their wealth, prop up the bars and talk crap'

Can I suggest that talking crap is exactly was you're doing?

Just to make clear, I'm not some nutcase 'townie' or alien, I grew up in a small village in Devon, and REAL rural life is nothing like you describe.

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mindalina · 09/09/2007 00:29

I think someone is having a laugh... If you are not, then why on earth do you carry a revolver when you're out riding with your son? Surely if you had cause to use it, it would scare the crap out of the ponies anyway?

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MrsMarvel · 09/09/2007 00:30

"Locals politely tolerate aliens. They don't need/want the aliens, just their money"

Is this the definition of xenophobia? Get over yourself and your life could be much more pleasant.

Speeding drivers on country lanes get my goat too and the sooner speed limits are reduced the better. Try starting a constructive campaign which makes car travel less easy and riding and walking safer.

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Alambil · 09/09/2007 00:46

country lanes may have national speed limits but they are just that - LIMITS, not GOALS...

having a father who is a member of the IAM (institute of advanced motorists) it is helpful to have had "lessons" on lane driving; the middle is infact the safest place for visibility reasons as it gives most time to see something coming and move. Driving appropriate to conditions is vital - a windy lane is NOT suited to 60mph... I rarely go over 30 down the local lanes here as there is not enough visibility, then driving wide round the corners or in the middle leaves me enough time to see wildlife / horses / bikes etc and alter my speed and position accordingly.

Just cos some idiot drives like a nutter doesn't mean all drivers are nutters and may I say, you seem rather annoyed that your "local" people are being threatened by these "expats" ... seems a tad OTT but then what can we expect from a seemingly completely insular community (everyone knows everyones lineage... no "newbies" can come in for fear of not being from a good enough stock...!) Sad way of living, surely ?

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MrsMarvel · 09/09/2007 01:05

I always drive on country lanes imagining that there is a 2 year old running out into the road round the next corner. That always keeps me driving at a reasonable speed. I just wish other people did the same. Ironically I had a huge row with a rural local who was complaining about the introduction of 30mph s/limits. Father of youngun and regular dogwalker.

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McEdam · 09/09/2007 01:34

The OP was describing a very alarming incident. I'd be furious, too. And in context I can see why it evoked all her resentment about the incomers.

I imagine it is rather worrying if you live in a close community that is suddenly inundated with outsiders. And even worse if some of the newcomers are too ill-mannered to try to fit in or discover what the local norms are. I remember living in a small town in Yorkshire where a new housing estate was built. Lots of the people on the estate were keen to join stuff (good) but in a 'let's take over' way (not so good). Caused a lot of resentment. Because even if they were well-intentioned, they were being ignorant.

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McEdam · 09/09/2007 01:35

this was a Barrat or Wimpey type estate btw, before anyone accuses me of being classist or something. Although actually class may have played a part as newcomers were kind of lower-middle and village was mainly working class and proud of it.

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Bouncingturtle · 09/09/2007 08:43

OOOH ARRGGGGHHHH GERRROOFFFFF MA LAND!!!!!!

Hmm, while I sympathise with you with regards to idiot driver (glad you and your ds are okay!), I find your attitude to outsiders incomprehensible - it is a fact of our times that with a growing population housing developments will encroach on rural areas.
I'm afraid that people(on both sides of the fence) have to learn to adapt unless you are prepared to fight such developments at the planning stage.
As much as we all would like to, we cannot govern others' behaviour to make them conform to local customs - as long as they are not committing illegal acts then there isn't much you can do.
And I hope that you don't actually share the attitudes you expressed in your last post - what a bunch of insular, unfriendly xenophobes the people of your village must be!!
I'm afraid you do come across as being a NIMBY - the most selfish people known to exist. Please correct me if I am wrong here!
FWIW - I grew up in a rural commnity, and have lived in a big city and now live in a new build (so shoot me) in a small town. I've never met anyone with those attitudes you so eloquently described in any of the places that I have lived.

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themildmanneredjanitor · 09/09/2007 09:09

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LoveAngel · 09/09/2007 10:02

Are you pissed off with a dangerous driver or with 'foreigners' or with new builds... or what? You haven't made yourself clear, I'm afriad. Dangerous driving should be reported to the police. If the police are consistently failing to address this issue, you should take it further and make a complaint. If its new builds and the way they are destroying the countryside and 'country way of life', then I sympathise - it must be hard. The best I can advise is to join some sort of campaign or pressure group and start doing something practical to get your feelings heard. If its foreigners you don't like, I think there's a word to sum up what you've expressed : xenophobia. Its really quite dangerous to start blaming the 'bloody foreigners' for all of society's ills. Especially if you are the sort of person who keeps a shotgun in the house.

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