To not let DD have Instagram.

[MrsArchchancellorRidcully]

My DD is in yr 6 and one of the oldest (sept birthday) and we gave her a phone in sept. All going well. She is sensible and trustworthy and does come to me if there's anything she's not sure about.

We have allowed her on WhatsApp on the understanding her phone will be checked regularly.

Fb, snapchat, Insta etc all no as they are aimed at 13+.

She has told (and shown me using my insta account) that the vast majority of her friends use insta and she is being left out. She is begging for it.

I've said I will think about it but it's likely to be no.

Her response was to show me that 90% of her friends insta accounts are private and that I can follow her to monitor what she does and who she allows to follow her.

I'm torn as her arguments seem reasonable and she's not asked for any other social media app. WWYD? AIBU to say no? I am mindful that fitting in gets more important as she gets older.

[Nowayorhighway]

She’s too young, the rule is 13 for a reason.

[mencken]

it is pout, pose and expose and adds no value to anyone's life.

real life hobbies and friends are good.

[HandsOffMyRights]

No, not in year 6.

[SleepingStandingUp]

What kind of things are her friends posting?

[Shamazing]

YANBU at all.

DD is almost 14 and doesn't have it. Not just because I hate it but because she's seen so many of her friends fall out over it she doesn't want it.

[akg89]

In my experience as a year 5 teacher, as soon as social media is introduced the playground politics become magnified. The children are able to contact one another 24/7 and minimal issues become big ones because social media becomes a big part of the child life.

If you value your child's innocence... keep of social media! It's a fast track to teenage in every way attitude included.

I can't tell my parents what to do but I always say it's she 13 plus for good reason.

[ArsenicNLace]

You do know WhatsApp is for 16+ ?

[HandsOffMyRights]

Mine are y9 and still don't have it thankfully.

[ilovedjerrymore]

I have Instagram and got 2 requests from children in my child’s class they were 7/8 at the time! I was so shocked that they had social media at such a young age, the parents knew all about the accounts as the parents would tag them in things!
2 years on more then half the class have it, they are all 9/10...my son has been told it’s a firm no until he is at least 13 and even then it will still need to be discussed.
I have now purposely deleted my Instagram account so I have no social media to show my son that it’s really not needed.

[Thesunrising]

Nope. It’s a massive time killer encouraging vanity and self obsession. And for less sensible children they will sometimes set up new private accounts under different names which parents cannot monitor.

[ilovedjerrymore]

Sorry 1st line should have said I had*

[Hepzibahscaredme]

I thought I was doing all the right things with my DD - subsequently found out that she had one main Insta account that I was able to look at, but had started several more that I only found out about by chance!

[FizzyIce]

Nope , I don’t even have it but don’t feel the need to photograph and share every aspect of my life .
I’ve always thought it was for shallow ,attention seekers - probably harsh .
I won’t let my dd have it for that reason and a myriad of others but she’s 8 so thankfully hasn’t asked yet!

[FishCanFly]

you can have some sort of family account to gently introduce her. A child's "innocence" has its price - once they're out of parental guidance, they are clueless. Its quite awful to see grown people who completely don't realise that, for example, you can't suddenly win a lottery to which you never bought tickets, or romance scams.

[Littlewelshridinghood]

YANBU at all

[Laserbird16]

YANBU the internet hates women, give your DD some time before she is confronted with that

[MethodToThisMadness]

WhatsApp is just as bad really.
All social media is age restricted for good reasons.
Stand your ground.

[Walruse]

YANBU, she is too young and doesn't need it

[NurseButtercup]

I agree that your DD is too young for Instagram, but if you do cave and allow it, set very clear rules. If she breaks any of the rules you can always use #parenttakeover of her Instagram account as punishment.

[Deliqueen]

My 13 year old has only just got it and the 11 year old won't have it until she is 13.

[Onetwothreeeee]

YANBU the internet hates women, give your DD some time before she is confronted with that

FFS How do you get through life with that mindset? I really hope you you’re not passing it on to any children

[Rockbird]

My 12yo wants it and has been told no. I've just limited her TikTok to 1hr per day as she was wasting half her life on it. I'm not giving her something else to waste time pouting on!

[Misknit]

No - far too young. Some of the worst bullying I've seen is on that platform and I have to report baitout accounts on a regular basis. (They are rarely taken down mainly because there are no comments but just screenshotting and putting a picture up for a person for silent ridicule). You may be a responsible parent but not everyone is. Protect your kid from it as far as possible and spend then next few years educating them so, when they are legally old enough to engage, they can see through the fakery.

[EerieSilence]

DD's friends have TikTok but we wouldn't let her. She only has few phone numbers on her mobile phone and everything is controlled. She's 10 but till she's 15 or 16, there will be very little social media exposure for her.
Instagram is the ultimate narcissist magnet platform but TikTok is much worse.

[Aragog]

We have allowed her on WhatsApp on the understanding her phone will be checked regularly.

WhatsApp age restriction is 16.
Instagram is 13.
TikTok is 13 with parental permission.
Snapchat is 13.

We did allow dd to have some social media before she was 13, but with the knowledge that her phone would be monitored, we would have password access and there'd be consequences of inappropriate use.