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To be a grown up and just call the hotel...

(84 Posts)

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Honeypie19 Mon 21-Oct-19 10:09:10

So a few weeks ago I finally hooked up with an old friend, he was over from America and it was all planned where I would take him, lots of email exchanges about what we would be getting up to of the bedroom variety etc... this had been waiting to happen for quite a number of years.

Anyway he arrives, we book into our hotel, he produces a few toys to spice things up. 1 being a pair of vibrating pantiy things (yeah I know, I know, but they seemed like fun once id had a few drinks and he had the control). We stayed there 2 nights the moved onto an air b&b.

First day there I noticed the panties weren't with us, neither was the not tv remote control that I cant find - do I admit defeat or put on my big girl pants and call the hotel.

Im never gonna go back to the hotel, but the thought of having to go back in to collect my 'belongings" makes me cringe.

Ponoka7 Mon 21-Oct-19 10:39:15

I'd write them off, personally.

AryaStarkWolf Mon 21-Oct-19 10:40:58

are they a size 6? shock

StartingAgainID Mon 21-Oct-19 10:41:03

It it was a few weeks ago, they'll have been disposed of. Hotels won't keep stuff like that in the lost property box, surely?

northernknickers Mon 21-Oct-19 10:52:49

Why the fuck would you want to contact the hotel???

Singlenotsingle Mon 21-Oct-19 10:54:18

The hotel will have chucked the stuff away by now. Forget it.

PrestonNotHeston Mon 21-Oct-19 10:55:17

They will already be in a landfill site, far far away, vibrating to their heart's content in the plastic bag the housekeeper placed them in with the tongs from the ice bucket.

Oysterbabe Mon 21-Oct-19 10:57:43

They won't still have them.

Mrsjayy Mon 21-Oct-19 10:58:57

Those will have been burned and the ashes buried [shock ] of course you dont phone the hotel to ask for used sex toys

isitxmasyet Mon 21-Oct-19 11:00:24

Are you that desperate to get them back?!

Are you really going to pop in and collect them?

DifficultPifcultLemonDifficult Mon 21-Oct-19 11:02:07

They will have been binned after a few weeks anyway.

Would you really use them again anyway?

GloriaMaximus Mon 21-Oct-19 11:04:19

I think op is more concerned about the now tv remote..

DifficultPifcultLemonDifficult Mon 21-Oct-19 11:06:24

less than £8

Beebeezed Mon 21-Oct-19 11:08:19

Write them off OP

TheresWaldo Mon 21-Oct-19 11:09:07

Maybe they are hiding under the shameful blanket ? grin

Noeuf Mon 21-Oct-19 11:09:37

Are we trying for Classics?

Mrsjayy Mon 21-Oct-19 11:10:06

Argos or Amazon will sell now tv remotes!

P1nkHeartLovesCake Mon 21-Oct-19 11:10:58

Just forget about them & pity the cleaners that found your worn vibrating pants

Mrsjayy Mon 21-Oct-19 11:11:28

Maybe they are hiding under the shameful blanket


KatyCarrCan Mon 21-Oct-19 11:12:35

I thought the remote was for the pants. I'm so confused and obviously had a sheltered life grin

Mrsjayy Mon 21-Oct-19 11:15:36

Perhaps the NOW remote is multi purpose ?

Oysterbabe Mon 21-Oct-19 11:15:54

I thought the remote was for the pants. I'm so confused and obviously had a sheltered life

Me too!

MarianaMoatedGrange Mon 21-Oct-19 11:17:29

are they a size 6? grin Yeah OP of mystery knickers thread - do they vibrate?

I'm now imagining myself standing in a supermarket queue with my underwear buzzing madly.

Loftyswops988 Mon 21-Oct-19 11:19:18

Something similar happened to me recently. Noticed about a day later. The hotel won't still have them. I used to work in a hotel and that is the kind of thing that goes straight in the bin i'm afraid.

Also, for something so cheap I would not be able to show my face for that haha

MorganKitten Mon 21-Oct-19 11:19:32

If you want your own pair lovehoney or Ann summers has them

MarianaMoatedGrange Mon 21-Oct-19 11:19:51

I'm sure I remember a comedy scene (not porn) involving a remote controlled vibrating sex thing. Or it went haywire in public suddenly?

CallarMorvern Mon 21-Oct-19 11:22:16

with the tongs from the ice bucket

PancakeAndKeith Mon 21-Oct-19 11:22:52

So remote controlled vibrating knickers and the remote have been left at the hotel.

They will have been binned.

Does the word ‘panties’ make anyone else cringe?

DifficultPifcultLemonDifficult Mon 21-Oct-19 11:31:11

MarianaMoatedGrange this one? It's actually hilarious.

Inthemoment38 Mon 21-Oct-19 11:33:54

Is this a stealth boast about your shagging spree OP?

MarianaMoatedGrange Mon 21-Oct-19 11:38:51

Yes yes YES!!! that's the one @DifficultPifcultLemonDifficult grin

Thanks! wink

Sagradafamiliar Mon 21-Oct-19 11:44:39

I'm cringing at you thinking that your sex pants have been placed lovingly into lost property ready for your reunion as opposed to the reality of them: tossed straight into the bin upon discovery.

category12 Mon 21-Oct-19 11:46:22

They'll be binned, surely.

LipSyncForYourLife Mon 21-Oct-19 11:49:15

I’m picturing a member of housekeeping running round the room screaming with the sex panties on her head while another operates the remote.

Mrsjayy Mon 21-Oct-19 11:51:57

I dont think hotel cleaners get paid nearly enough if they have to deal with sex pants!

PrestonNotHeston Mon 21-Oct-19 11:52:37

mariana was it Douglas and his electric sex pants from The IT Crowd? DAMN those sex pants!

PrestonNotHeston Mon 21-Oct-19 11:53:07

Oh, sorry, cross post. Clearly sex pants are a rich seam of comedy gold...

TakemedowntoPotatoCity Mon 21-Oct-19 11:55:16

This is such a non-profit I suspect hairy handedness.

TakemedowntoPotatoCity Mon 21-Oct-19 11:55:57


MarianaMoatedGrange Mon 21-Oct-19 11:59:43

This is such a non-profit I suspect hairy handedness

Well, whatever, it's brought smiles to faces on a Monday morning.

Preston I've watched many an IT episode but can't recall that one! I'll see if it's on YouTube.

MarianaMoatedGrange Mon 21-Oct-19 12:01:34

LavendarGreen Mon 21-Oct-19 12:13:27

PMSL! grin

LavendarGreen Mon 21-Oct-19 12:15:27


Your link takes you to a remote control.

AryaStarkWolf Mon 21-Oct-19 12:17:40

I think you should definitely ring the hotel and ask for your vibrating Knickers back, you will their entertainment for the day

MyNewBearTotoro Mon 21-Oct-19 12:19:11

How on earth did your TV remote end up at the hotel?

Gardai Mon 21-Oct-19 12:21:33

The first two paragraphs weren't really necessary OP.
You left your (imaginary) keks in a hotel.

AryaStarkWolf Mon 21-Oct-19 12:22:27

How on earth did your TV remote end up at the hotel?

She said the "not" TV remote, so presumably the remote control for the vibrating knickers?

willloman Mon 21-Oct-19 12:25:22

aryastarkwolf grin

Mrsjayy Mon 21-Oct-19 12:29:47

Oh not tv remote NOT now tv remote grin

FavouriteSong Mon 21-Oct-19 12:42:21

I used to work in a hotel and I agree with pp, your kecks will be vibrating quietly to themselves in a big wheelie bin.

Just buy another pair.

BritWifeinUSA Mon 21-Oct-19 12:45:37

Stealth boasting, much? Even had to throw in that he’s American because you thought we’d be even more jealous.

Although it sounds quite immature - “things we would be doing of the bedroom variety” are you too shy to say sex? And going back to the hotel to get your used sex toy is not “being a grown up”. It’s cheap and also naive to think that a hotel would keep that kind of lost property. The way the whole thing is written makes me think this is the first time you’ve had sex. These things will happen - things will get left in hotel rooms, and other places. It’s nothing new.

GloriaMumsnet (MNHQ) Mon 21-Oct-19 12:55:53

Hi everyone. We've had a quick look behind the scenes and can see that the OP's actually a very long-term member of the site who hasn't given us any real cause for concern in the past.

inwood Mon 21-Oct-19 13:05:16

Just but some more. Why on earth would you think they would have kept them safely for you?!

Mrsjayy Mon 21-Oct-19 13:11:14

Oh Gloriamumsnet grin

Sagradafamiliar Mon 21-Oct-19 13:11:28

Lhastingsmua Mon 21-Oct-19 13:11:40

They wouldn’t keep sex toys/aids in lost property, it’s extremely unhygienic. They would have been assumed to have been abandoned and thus disposed of at the time

Nokeysnoentry Mon 21-Oct-19 13:17:50

I feel sorry for the cleaners.

steff13 Mon 21-Oct-19 13:26:25

Why would you even consider going back? If you need more vibrating panties, buy a new pair.

Bluerussian Mon 21-Oct-19 13:29:47

You're embarrassing yourself, op! Stop boasting about what sounds like a sordid encounter.

FranneKipankinstein Mon 21-Oct-19 13:37:41

Another pants thread.

underground76 Mon 21-Oct-19 13:44:10

Yes, well done, you had sex. We get it.

Honeypie19 Mon 21-Oct-19 13:49:06

grin ok shouldn't have written in a rush - the box was brand new - never ever used so some cleaner has found it, and I usually take my now tv stick with me to hotels for work so I can watch something decent on the tv instead of on my laptop - not trying for classics, not stealth boasting. more sharing my horror that I have to call up and ask for my now tv remote control back knowing what else they potentially found in there.

Aren't a few of you cheery happy souls today grin.

Honeypie19 Mon 21-Oct-19 13:49:30

and no, definitely nowhere near a size 6 sadly!! double that and bit more!

Honeypie19 Mon 21-Oct-19 13:50:34

Hahahaha oh my god to get reported for this.......

god this place has changed for the worse in a few years!

SomeonesSomeone Mon 21-Oct-19 13:50:44

Boy, that's ballsy, showing up to a first hook up with various electrical appliances.

Not to mention having to get them through various airport security procedures. Imagine the officer seeing a suitcase full of metal wiring including a cylindrical object with wires and batteries on an x-ray scanner. Would they immediately think sexual dynamite.

alltoomuchrightnow Mon 21-Oct-19 13:53:03

In disbelief that you would think they'd keep something like this! Do you think they have a 'sex cupboard' of old toys?!

Honeypie19 Mon 21-Oct-19 13:59:56

grin Im not asking how do I go back in to pick them up. and again they are brand new, I expect full well they've thrown them away. its theta control i'm crying over... other than pay £35 for a brand new one I have to go back in knowing what they found in that room!

I honestly give up on here! hmm

sorry to those offended by the mention of a sex toy!!

Theredjellybean Mon 21-Oct-19 14:03:31

Slightly off topic but where does the word kecks come from?

dottiedodah Mon 21-Oct-19 14:04:17

Most hotels will find this sort of thing in their rooms occasionally ,and will not be overly surprised (My Nans Neighbour used to be a Chambermaid in a large London hotel ,one day offered some used Mens magazines to GP ,who were getting on a bit! They saw the funny side of it luckily) I dont think they will still have your toys though OP!

MarianaMoatedGrange Mon 21-Oct-19 14:06:52

So you haven't actually tried the vibe knicks? I was hoping for a review! grin

ILikeyourHairyHands Mon 21-Oct-19 14:12:48

Ahh, I think the typo for Now TV in your OP has caused some confusion Honeypie, it reads as though you want to get your remote control smalls back, rather than you want to get your Now TV remote back and are feeling sheepish that you also left your vibro-knicks.

TSSDNCOP Mon 21-Oct-19 14:14:13

Brilliant. Were they battery powered? I suppose so or would you have needed one of those PAT tests first grin Have future guests been kept up looking for the mysterious low level buzzing?

There are some proper cats bums about today. Rainy first day of half term must be unhinging some posters.

Lhastingsmua Mon 21-Oct-19 14:17:27

Even if they weren’t used, the hotel weren’t to know and would have binned them.

The remote might be worth calling up about - due to the length of time they have have forgotten about the toys in your room. But also due to the length of time it may have been considered as abandoned by you, and again disposed of rather than indefinitely kept in lost property.

Lhastingsmua Mon 21-Oct-19 14:19:51

They may have forgotten*

Sagradafamiliar Mon 21-Oct-19 14:22:28

The sex pants were definitely used, it says in the OP!

babybunny123 Mon 21-Oct-19 14:27:44

Is that Donald and Jacqueline Stewart by any chance? !!!

Mrsjayy Mon 21-Oct-19 14:29:58

Is that Donald and Jacqueline Stewart by any chance? !!!

<snort> grin

Nyctophyllia Mon 21-Oct-19 16:16:47

Could have been worse, your Ben Wa balls could have fallen out in the frozen creampie section of Waitrose and rolled noisily down the aisle

FilledSoda Mon 21-Oct-19 17:54:43

I'm still confused .
So the pants had a remote control and then in the next paragraph you mean a (not) tv control. You can see why posters thought it was the pants control .
Also , what was new in the box ?

PrestonNotHeston Mon 21-Oct-19 18:00:31

TBF if I was a chambermaid and I saw a pair of sex pants and an unfamiliar remote control, I'd be tonging the remote control straight into the bin too.

alltoomuchrightnow Mon 21-Oct-19 18:20:58

why did you bring a NowTv control with you?

RhiWrites Mon 21-Oct-19 18:27:16

They’ll have kept the remote and put it in lost property. It won’t be spiritually linked to the sex panties because the housekeeping people who found both items won’t be the same as the receptionist who checks lost property. (Unless the two were bagged together with your name and the date, but that’s unlikely, because then they’d have called you about your ‘items’.)

thecatsarecrazy Mon 21-Oct-19 18:27:45

Did your friend stay in touch after?

Mrsjayy Mon 21-Oct-19 18:27:54

why did you bring a NowTv control with you?

To watch a box set whilst the sex pants did their thing obvs!

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