Friend bringing adult son for birthday lunch

[Polly345]

Ages ago I was chatting with my friend and we decided to go for lunch next week as I won't be home on my birthday. A few days ago she phoned and said she was bringing her son (age 23). It doesn't sound too bad but I haven't seen the son in a couple of years and I just feel it will be a little bit awkward. I feel selfish for thinking I would have just liked to go shopping and lunch with my friend.
I will go as not to upset/offend my friend but it doesn't feel like the day out we had planned.

[Bambamber]

I would cancel. Bringing a teenage son changes the whole dynamic. Why are you upset at offending her? She obviously didn't give 2 hoots when she invited her son along

[LizzieSiddal]

Is it just lunch or a whole day out?

Lunch wouldn’t bother me at all as I like to catch up with friends Dc, but I don't think I’d like a whole day of them following us around the shops. Maybe ask if you can just meet for a few hours?

[user1480880826]

Why on earth would a 23 year old man want to go out for lunch with his mum and her friend?! I bet he would be relieved if you cancelled it.

[Driftingthoughlife]

Why would the son want to come! That I don’t get

[LordNibbler]

Not quite sure why a 23 year old man wants to come along. I'd suddenly have a 'poorly tummy' the day before and cancel. I really hate it when people change plans.

[Leeds2]

Does he actually want to come, as in are you sure he will turn up?

[TheGrey1houndSpeaks]

What on earth is up with a 23 year old man that he wants to crash his mummy’s lunch date? Super weird. Just cancel, let them enjoy each other’s company because you certainly won’t.

[AgentProvocateur]

Those of you who think it’s odd, my 23-year-old son has grown up seeing all my friends regularly and now that he’s an adult, looks on them as friends (rather than his mum’s friends) and will go for a drink with them if he meets them in town, so maybe he’s just keen to see the OP again. (I’m definitely not the friend in question, though )

[SauvingnonBlanketyBlanc]

Nah total change of dynamics

[crazycatlady5]

I’ve no idea why she would want him to come? But also not sure why you would feel ‘awkward’. I wouldn’t enjoy it but I don’t see why it should make you feel uncomfortable

[CustardySergeant]

Bambamber Teenage son? Did you misread 23 as 13?

[NaturatintGoldenChestnut]

It's your birthday and you're worried about her feelings when she's being totally inconsiderate? Give your head a wobble. Why not cancel?

[Purplecatshopaholic]

If he is a nice man then why on earth not, why would it be awkward? Surprised he wants lunch with the old foggies though, lol

[BlackAmericanoNoSugar]

I would reply and say "let's postpone lunch for another day when you're child-free." Then it's up to her to either say that her son won't come and keep the date or find another day.

[Aeroflotgirl]

Very strange, I would postpone if you are not happy, just say oh I was looking forward to going out just me and you.

[Oakmaiden]

"let's postpone lunch for another day when you're child-free."

Think she is child free!

[Chamomileteaplease]

Tell her how you feel. Weird.

[DontDribbleOnTheCarpet]

I find it annoying when people invite extras along for almost anything, to be honest. In this case it would change the dynamic and I would cancel.

[englishdictionary]

I would cancel. Bringing a teenage son changes the whole dynamic.

It does. But she isn't bringing a teenage son.

I am with the pp who's adult children still see the friends of parents they grew up knowing.

I don't find that too odd. My DD and I go on lunch dates with my friend she has known since birth!

[Dippypippy1980]

I have socialised with my parents friends - drinks etc as adults.

But you wouldn’t need to know he son week for this dynamic to work - and you don’t seem to.

It’s your birthday - if you would feel uncomfortable cancel.

[IvanaPee]

Did she say why??

[MrsWillGardner]

I have a friend who does this. We arrange to meet up, I look forward to it as I really enjoy her company when she’s on her own, and bam, she turns up with her 15yr old daughter in tow.

[Moomoomoomoomoo]

Why would the friend even consider bringing her son? That’s just rude, regardless of how well he does or doesn’t know the OP. You don’t invade someone else birthday lunch.

[formerbabe]

Does he have sn? Or is he socially awkward or lacking in friends? Genuine question.

I can't imagine why any man that age would want to have lunch with their mum and her friends.

[Oblomov19]

I like BlackAmericano's text.