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To wonder how people are still so homophobic?

(112 Posts)
uptodatetech Sat 20-Apr-19 00:05:20

I've noticed it on here and in the village I was brought up in. My best friend in school was gay and he had an absolutely horrible time. He heard anti gay comments on the street and at home and couldn't wait to escape the valleys for London. I funnily enough moved there too. We are still good friends and the other day, I was asking him does he regret leaving home. He says even though he would love to live in the area where all his family lived and he was brought up; he never could due to the rampant homophobia.

When I was back at Christmas, there was a group of men 10 or so, in the pub chanting that "There are no poofters in this village". I was shock at how backward and homophobic people still are at home. Whilst of course there are homophobic people everywhere; I just feel so badly for any gay people struggling to grow up there still.

Where I live, we have a few gay mums and a few gay dads. There is no way on earth I could imagine them feeling safe visiting as a family unit to where I grew up. Then on here, I read anti-gay family posts.

How are people still so homophobic? Will it improve?

Tunnockswafer Sat 20-Apr-19 00:07:57

Have you been reporting the homophobic posts? That is truly shocking.

Aquamarine1029 Sat 20-Apr-19 00:08:04

Religious brainwashing for a start. Chronic ignorance for another.

LagunaBubbles Sat 20-Apr-19 00:12:43

It's scary.

TheLovleyChebbyMcGee Sat 20-Apr-19 00:14:29

I know right?!

Everytime I think the world is getting someplace I come across someone or something thst reminds me we're still etuck with a few relics.

At a wedding recently we were reminiscing about how that wsd the last of my generation all married off, so no more weddings for a while, then a distant family member turns to his 16 year olf step son and says 'unless you turn out to be a gayboy'

DH and I didn't know what to say. All the adults were fairly drunk and we didn't want to start anything, but i look back and wish I'd challenged what was said, that poor boy growing up listening to that rubbish.

NotFatTransslender Sat 20-Apr-19 00:15:06

Where have you seen it on here?! I’ve literally never noticed any homophobia on Mumsnet!

Weenurse Sat 20-Apr-19 00:16:32

My mother commented ‘we never saw it growing up ‘.
Well, you grew up in a small country town in the 1940’s.
People moved away or kept to themselves.
She would be very shocked to know my DD1 is gay. DD1 has chosen not to disclose to extended family as yet. I would hope that it would not change DM feelings about DD1 but I think it would.

uptodatetech Sat 20-Apr-19 00:19:00

You know it's scary isn't it.

Where I grew up, there were also anti semitic attacks 100 years ago. That's just in the time of my grandparents.

I feel sorry for that poor lad, and do hope he grows up knowing that if he is gay then it is perfectly normal; and importantly that such comments are wrong

uptodatetech Sat 20-Apr-19 00:19:41

Mumsnet homophobia from threads I've read has mainly been towards gay families rather than gay people in general

Tunnockswafer Sat 20-Apr-19 00:23:53

What’s a gay family? You mean the parents are gay? Or the children?

WelcomeToGreenvale Sat 20-Apr-19 00:26:33

It's pretty awful. I know for a fact my direct superior is homophobic, she's expressed that to me and then made fun of me for "telling her off" about it... she doesn't know that I'm queer and has made it very certain that I can't be open about my sexuality at work.

"All the gay men look like women and all the gay women look like men! What's the point??" she said.

I've made it clear that I disagree and I'm unhappy with her discussing the subject around me and so far she's respected that but that's not enough, you know? I want to be open about who I am and don't feel comfortable or safe doing so, but that's how things are. It's depressing.

Greeborising Sat 20-Apr-19 00:40:01

Absolutely effing disgusting.
It makes me soooo angry.
I too, can’t quite believe that in 2019 homophobia is alive and well.
I was working in health care during the 80’s and dedicated my time and studies towards HIV
The loss was heartbreaking
Op, from your post , you sound Welsh
May I suggest you stick a big screen up in your local pub and
show ‘Pride’

Serin Sat 20-Apr-19 00:58:51

I actually think things have got worse over the last few years. The primary school parents in Birmingham who complained that their school was promoting homosexuality angry Then the bloody disgusting ruling in Brunei allowing death by stoning for the "crime" of committing gay sex. Russia and its persecution of gay people.
I honestly feel complete horror that religious beliefs take precedence over the basic human drives of another group and what I would consider to be hate crimes are being committed in the name of religion.

Greeborising Sat 20-Apr-19 01:08:07

Isn’t it funny that while all our teens are being really aware and pc (the new generation) that there are still so many ignorant, uneducated people out there who hold such archaic, appalling views

GunpowderGelatine Sat 20-Apr-19 01:09:33

Expressing distaste at women being used as nothing note than walking uteruses isn't homophobia

GunpowderGelatine Sat 20-Apr-19 01:11:48

But homophobia is not acceptable. Luckily I hear it less and less, and working in a school I've found many gay pupils are "out". It was unheard of when I was in school in the 90's. Many people came out later of course but never ever in school. I do hope things have changed

Greeborising Sat 20-Apr-19 01:12:02

Please explain gun

endofthelinefinally Sat 20-Apr-19 01:14:29

I honestly have never seen homophobia on Mumsnet.
OP I hope you have reported each and every instance you have seen.

GunpowderGelatine Sat 20-Apr-19 01:14:44

Gree I think the OP is referring to posts that raise issues with surrogacy, especially commercial surrogacy. Obviously gay men have to utilise a woman's body to have a baby naturally and many of us have serious concerns about the implications (not just of gay men using surrogates but surrogacy in general) if that. It isn't homophobia to feel unease at that.

SherryBomb Sat 20-Apr-19 01:16:37

Sometimes straight celebrity couples use surrogates; doesn't get mentioned on mumsnet. If it's a celeb gay couple however....

GunpowderGelatine Sat 20-Apr-19 01:18:56

I disagree Sherry - there were plenty of very long threads knocking about when Robbie Williams and Kim Kardashian's used surrogates ( it together of course!).

RubberTreePlant Sat 20-Apr-19 01:19:00

Oh you mean surrogacy isn't popular on MN?

I was struggling to think what you could possibly mean when you said that homophobia is commonplace here.

I don't think ideological objections to surrogacy can be described that way. Gay couples form families without recourse to surrogacy. Straight couples use surrogates. So an objection purely to (all) surrogacy isn't homophobic in itself.

GunpowderGelatine Sat 20-Apr-19 01:19:41

*not together.

NK346f2849X127d8bca260 Sat 20-Apr-19 01:24:31

I have four sons, two are gay, the youngest has only recently told us, my eldest son is homophobic and it is causing upset😢

SherryBomb Sat 20-Apr-19 01:27:25

If the reporting is accurate, looks like Mumsnet deleted several outright homophobic comments on the Tom Daley thread.

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