AIBU to be in utter disbelief at this woman in on This Morning

[namechange383738]

Name changed for this but am a regular poster. I don't normally watch This Morning because it's shit but I've got ironing that needs doing and I've finished Line of Duty.

This woman is trying to blame the fact that her son was hospitalised (with what sounds like severe sleep deprivation but apparently they still don't know what it was) because he was up all night playing fortnite, on fortnite. Her son apparently grew up with video games and had been playing with them since he was two. He was 9 at the time and had the Xbox moved into his room because she didn't like it being played constantly on the tv in the living room. The psychologist on with her was obviously politely trying to imply that maybe it wasn't Fornites fault but perhaps her inability to say no. Now I get that limiting screen time can sometimes be difficult but common that is ridiculous. DD would watch Peppa Pig non stop if she had her way and I didn't take responsibility as the adult and say no. A 9 year old in hospital because she couldn't say no? AIBU to be in utter disbelief at this woman's denial at being at fault? Did anyone else see this?

[ThanosSavedMe]

Yanbu.

[YouTheCat]

Sounds like an utter idiot. How can she blame the game for that? Did the game force her to put the Xbox in her child's room? I'd bet she didn't have any kind of parental controls on either.

And I say this as a person who likes gaming. My dd likes gaming too but there were always reasonable limits in place and other things to do.

[OverMoon]

I didn’t see it, but my husband and I talk about this topic sometimes. There’s always a bogeyman - rock music, television, at the moment it’s video games - a force “corrupting the youth”, usally because the parente generation didn’t grow up with it and don’t understand it.

Obviously it’s the parents fault for not parenting their child. Tell them they can play it for an hour, then turn it off. Take away the controller and find something else for the child to do. It’s really not hard. It’s actually pretty unfair the bad rep that games developers get, as if they’ve created some kind of brainwashing child crack. There’s no sinister undertone to any of these games - they’re fun, parents need to limit time because doing anything in excess is bad (reading, eating, football, anything), and that’s that.

[bridgetreilly]

There’s no sinister undertone to any of these games

I mean, in general I agree with you, but Grand Theft Auto doesn't just have sinister undertones, it has sinister overtones too.

[HBStowe]

YANBU, she needs to take responsibility. That said these games are designed to be addictive to children and that’s something worth talking about too.

[YouTheCat]

Yes, bridge but a 12 year old shouldn't be playing it anyway.

[Provincialbelle]

It’s true that every generation gets hooked on new tech, but my problem is video games like fortnite involve zero imagination. In the C18 as cheaper books became available there was a panic children were obsessed with reading (bliss!) but video games leave children with no interest in the world. Friends took their two on holiday to the Amalfi Coast and at the end of the holiday the children said they didn’t like it because the WiFi was rubbish. At least when I was a child being on holiday one forgot about games / tv as there weren’t any.

[Spudlet]

I like gaming and I've done some late sessions a few times - DH too . If DS takes an interest in gaming, we won't discourage him. However, as his parents it will be our job to set sensible limits, which will include setting a good example (neither of us regularly play into the wee small hours anymore!) and if it comes to it, being firm and saying no. Gaming in and of itself is not some evil vice, but as with all things in life, balance and moderation are good things to have!

I've no doubt that if he does get into it, when he leaves home he'll play until he sends himself cross-eyed until he learns these lessons for himself, but while he's a child living at home, that's our job. Whether he cuts up rough about it or not.

[OverMoon]

@bridgetreilly Yeah that is true, of course. But it’s similar to how you hopefully wouldn’t let your nine year old watch an 18 rated film or read a pornographic book - it doesn’t mean all video games are bad.

Video games are a huge industry (bigger than the music and film industry put together!), it’s worth noting that the vast vast majority of video game fans use them along side a normal life, and aren’t addicted to them.

(For the record I don’t play video games myself)

[OverMoon]

@Provincialbelle But again, that’s purely down to the parenting , it’s not something inherent about video games, right? Who on earth would let their child take a video games console on holiday?? You could just as easily say “they watched Peppa Pig on their ipad all holiday and complained the wifi wasn’t good enough”.

It reminds me of the people who sue McDonalds because they eat too much McDonalds. As if personal responsibility (or in this case, parental responsibility) just doesn’t apply anymore.

[RB68]

Parents that can't say No will make it everyone else's fault till the cows have come home and gone to bed!!

[Provincialbelle]

@Overthemoon I know but my point is the modern games are brain rotting activities involving no imagination. Old fashioned pastimes like chess or card games were not. Of course I keep my children’s screen time limited, though it’s a frustrating battle at times. The point about my friends example was that even one of the most beautiful places in the world was for their children a dull chore to be endured between games (albeit i use it to explain to my children why I restrict their screen time more than they like). I just wish games manufacturers would devise things less brainless that would be equally addictive

[OverMoon]

@Provincialbelle Minecraft is insanely popular among the child/teen market, and that’s purely creative. But I get your point.

[DistanceCall]

my point is the modern games are brain rotting activities involving no imagination

Depends on the game. Some games require problem-solving and imagination to work things out, and are beautifully designed.

[greeneyedlulu]

I had it on in the background whilst doing bits and it was shocking, playing video games from 2 years old!! How do bad parents make it everybody's else fault? Moving the Xbox in to his room and not limiting screen time was just a huge mistake. Poor kid!

[TipseyTorvey]

I disagree. I love certain videogames and think some of them are amazing, creative, educational and confidence boosting. Some are pure tosh, like books, movies or TV programmes can be. Fully agree with OP that parents should parent. End of.

[Purpletigers]

She admitted this all on tv ? You really can’t fix stupid .

[Purpletigers]

She’s just a bad parent !

[Chouetted]

@provincialbelle But that's normal for children, they just don't see things in the same way adults do. Everything's so much more matter of fact as a child, and you don't have the experience to know when a new experience is "special" compared to all the other new experiences they're having on a daily basis.

[roundturnandtwohalfhitches]

Some video games are built to be addictive. The whole task/reward thing. Games were you pay to upgrade or buy passes are built to encourage you to keep playing. It's a thing- not just for children. That's why parents are meant to limit kids time on it. And why there are so many battles between parents and kids over it. So in this case the parent sounds like a neglectful idiot but the games people know what they are doing- making as much money as possible.

[polarpig]

Don't argue with stupid, they'll drag you down to their level and beat you with experience. Not you OP, the foolish parent who is letting their child do this.

[fairislecable]

Children do get obsessive with lots of things. My DS used to want to play computer games (back in the day). He was allowed a certain time on screen then it was off - he didn’t like it and I was certainly seen as horrible Mum. As the adult I set the rules.

However Dd1 aged about 9 played Monopoly (real life board game not onscreen) continually for 3 days and had nightmares about that.

A good parent has to work out what is best for the children and stick to it.

[polarpig]

She's got a blog: www.facebook.com/moozikgal

[dronesdroppingzopiclone]

My son takes violent meltdowns in response to 'no'. Sometimes I just go along with it because I'm tired of my life being turned upside by them. We get no support at all with him as he's high-functioning.

[Dyrne]

But @dronesdroppingzopiclone presumably you accept that as a parenting choice you have made and you’d never go on This Morning blaming the toy/game/sweets?