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AIBU?

To want a job I can go home and forget about?

68 replies

twosoups1972 · 01/04/2019 15:46

A bit of background - I am in my mid 40s with 3 dc aged 17, 16 and 12. I am well educated to degree level and worked in insurance before having dc. I didn't really enjoy it and always planned to stay at home when my dc were small. Dh is well paid and so I spent 15 years at home with my dc which I loved doing. I've never been terribly ambitious career-wise.

About 5 or 6 years ago I started to think about retraining to do something new as youngest dd was settled into school. I took a 2 year course to qualify in a fairly unusual job. I don't want to say what it is as it's quite unusual but it comes under specialist teaching. I had to pay for the course but I thought I would get that back when I started working.

Qualified a few years ago and am now in my third year working in the field. Very part time - just one day/week. I do enjoy some aspects of it but I find the professional responsibility overwhelming. I hardly ever stick to my one day per week as I have to make appointments to see children, liaise with schools/parents, write reports and so on. I have a great manager who says I should only be working on my working day but it's difficult. For example, if I send out an email suggesting some appointment times and people don't respond on my working day, I can't just leave it till the following week. So my work computer is usually on most of the week.

I work Wednesdays and by Monday I am already planning my workload and worrying about what needs to be done.

Sometimes I want to pack it all in and get a job that I can leave and go home and not worry about. But it would be a waste of that training wouldn't it?

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StealthPolarBear · 01/04/2019 15:48

Is there a reason you can't do more days? Would that be an option if the opportunity arose.
It sounds like your job doesn't work on that very part time basis. I don't think many would tbh.

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raffle · 01/04/2019 15:49

Is it the actual job that’s the problem or the fact you only work one day a week?
If you worked across 3 days for example then emails wouldn’t be left for 6 days without being actioned

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Hazlenutpie · 01/04/2019 15:51

I find that people who work full-time are less stressed than the part-timers. The part-timers are always juggling their appointments and are faced with attending meetings when they aren't supposed to be at work.

Perhaps you need to work more hours to give yourself time to get properly organised.

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jameswong · 01/04/2019 15:51

Your reasoning doesn't add up. There's a specific term for his but I can't recall it, but basically you should never justify doing something you no longer want to do on the basis of the time already invested in it. Recipe for an unhappy life. Forget what happened in the past. It's over. If a different job would be better for you now then peruse that.

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Ballbags · 01/04/2019 15:52

It's the one day a week that's the problem. How can you achieve anything just one day a week? I literally cannot think of one professional job where that would work (except perhaps a senior medical professional)?

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Grumpelstilskin · 01/04/2019 15:53

OP, you can easily preset some automated messages to anyone you correspond with that you work just one day and will not respond to emails etc outside of that day. You establish professional boundaries.

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PumpkinPie2016 · 01/04/2019 15:55

I would suggest that it's the one day per week that is the problem as it's inevitable that people will reply on your non- working days and then you either need to reply/plan your schedule.

Could you increase your hours?

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duckduckgoose2 · 01/04/2019 15:59

Yes if you did 2 or 3 days a week you would have time to factor in appt setting. Having a computer on for work related chores daily is wearing, it does suggest your work pattern isn’t working, the only other option would be an admin support or other staff to pick up appointment setting

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twosoups1972 · 01/04/2019 16:00

I was offered two days/week initially but was wary about accepting this as I have a lot of family responsibilities including an elderly mother. Plus no family around for childcare when dd3 was still at primary school. I wanted to pick her up most days from school so only wanted to work one day.

My predecessor also worked one day (well one day for this borough, and another day for a different borough) and it seemed to work for him.

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colehawlins · 01/04/2019 16:01

but basically you should never justify doing something you no longer want to do on the basis of the time already invested in it.

Sunk costs fallacy.

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Parttime1 · 01/04/2019 16:02

Almost the same except I work 2 days a week... except I probably spend another 2/3hrs finishing off things, checking emails etc during the rest of the week.
I have small children though so it is more convenient for me to work like this at the moment. Is there any scope for admin support? As in someone else has access to your diary? That helps me out a lot.
I hear you about feeling you have to follow this career now because you trained for it, I am the same. Tbh I would prefer to work 3 days a week in a less responsible/ less well paid role at the moment but it is hard (for me) to step back up from that Confused

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Dieu · 01/04/2019 16:02

That's why I'm now a teaching assistant, rather than the teaching role I trained for. The money's poor, but I love having my weekends and evenings free.
I think you just need to be a bit more ruthless in your approach, and a day a week is as good as it could ever get as far as work goes!

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HeyCarrieAnneWhatsYourGame · 01/04/2019 16:02

jameswong sunk cost fallacy.

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goingonabearhunt1 · 01/04/2019 16:09

Just set up out of office replies for when you're not working and don't answer except on your work day Grin

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duckduckgoose2 · 01/04/2019 16:09

I can’t think of many jobs that are decent or interesting you can do 1 day a week. Your dd isn’t at primary any more?

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twosoups1972 · 01/04/2019 16:09

Admin support may be possible although I don't know if the budget is there for it. There is actually a designated role in my field for an assistant who does admin type jobs.

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duckduckgoose2 · 01/04/2019 16:15

That’s the easiest solution if the other days work is appts

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SwedishEdith · 01/04/2019 16:23

There's a specific term - sunk cost fallacy?

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duckduckgoose2 · 01/04/2019 16:24

Well yes but I wouldn’t hold out high hopes of interesting one day a week options, so it may still be your best option

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thatmustbenigelwiththebrie · 01/04/2019 16:25

I am not sure it's very practical to have a job that's just one day a week? Why can't you do more days? Then it would be spread out more.

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Blahdeblahbahhhhh · 01/04/2019 16:29

Would it be possible to work two short days, only slightly increasing your hours but within the school day. I’d say you did Tues 9-2 and Thursday 9-2 you’d be able to respond more quickly whilst sticking to your hours. Obviously don’t know if this would work in your role.

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Thirtyrock39 · 01/04/2019 16:33

Also jobs that 'you can go home and not worry about' can be very monotonous, disheartening and frustrating.
My job is a support role to a more high status and stressful job but my job still has its stresses and I'm getting to a stage where I feel like there's not much progression and can feel taken for granted and that I do all the crappy boring bits
I worked in a pub before this and would still stress about things that happened there

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StillMedusa · 01/04/2019 16:33

I'm a TA for that reason ! Poor pay (but special school so slightly better than mainstream) But I do my job, come home and unless there is something really important I don't think about it again til tomorrow!

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twosoups1972 · 01/04/2019 16:52

blah I don't think the hours would work. As it is, my working day is supposed to be 9 - 5.30pm but I sometimes end up seeing children before school, and sometimes after school depending on their needs.

I take the point about some jobs being boring. I did think about maybe returning to retail. Someone I know works for Waitrose doing 2 days a week and it works for her. I've had quite a bit of retail experience in the past.

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EvaHarknessRose · 01/04/2019 17:17

Be less flexible about appointment times and locations (let people choose between location a on x date and location b on y date - you don’t expect your orthodontist or oncology registrar to fit her/his diary around your needs, why are you undervaluing yourself. Decide what appts you can offer and then fill them.

Allocate one half hour mid week for checking messages and reply by text or email so you don’t have to leave voicemails etc.

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