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To be pissed about mothers day...

(26 Posts)
jade19 Mon 25-Mar-19 18:21:21

At the begining of this month my partner was a bonus from work. He will normally take some out of for himself and then get me the rest to put away in case of emergency. He took £300.
We have recently agreed that each month after bills are paid what ever money is left I will split and we can both have money to do what we like with. The only exception is if there is a reason we are short that month or if there are a lot of birthdays all together (For example, July we have 6 birthdays and we are a 1 income family.)
This month we had 3 birthday and mothers day. So when he asked me when his money was being put over I told him i couldn't this month because I had birthdays and mothers day to buy for and he had also had £300 so, he wouldnt miss this month. He suggested that if I gave him some money he would buy all the gifts for his mum and I wouldn't have to worry.
Well two days a go he told me he had forgotten about mothers day and spent the extra money and that he had NOTHING left. He apologised and told me that me and his mum wouldn't be getting anything for mothers.
I am so pissed! I don't care that I won't get a card or gift I'm pissed he said he would do something and he hasn't!
I have now had to dip into our emergency fund/ savings and make sure his mum is sorted.
I don't really think this is a question more of a rant🤣


Hollowvictory Mon 25-Mar-19 18:23:26

I could not be in a relationship with someone that bad with money and that thoughtless. Both highly unattractive traits.

Beautyfail Mon 25-Mar-19 18:24:42

You say you are a 1 income family - is it him that earns the income ? I see your frustration but also think you are being very controlling with the money.

Tink2007 Mon 25-Mar-19 18:24:45

I wouldn’t have sorted his mums presents. I would have watched him squirm as he told himself.

ChoccieEClaire Mon 25-Mar-19 18:25:48

Is this money for him to spend on what he chooses or did it go on bills/food etc?

Chloemol Mon 25-Mar-19 18:26:09

Learn from this and don’t agree to this again

AuntieCJ Mon 25-Mar-19 18:36:59

He never had any intention of buying presents. You do realise that?

jade19 Mon 25-Mar-19 18:39:06

Yes he is earning the income. We would normally split what is left at the end of the month 50/50 but because he had £300 to spend on what he likes. I thought I could use the money from the end of the month to get our parents decent presents.

jade19 Mon 25-Mar-19 18:40:46

AuntieCJ I do now... Which makes me feel even worse. I spend so much time thinking, looking and buying gifts for everyone and I thought he genuinely wanted to help.

Frenchmontana Mon 25-Mar-19 18:42:21

Does he have form for stuff like this?

Fatted Mon 25-Mar-19 18:42:36

I wouldn't buy his mum a present. Make her realise what a selfish oaf she raised.

Treaclesweet Mon 25-Mar-19 18:44:51

Don't get anything for his mum & get yourself something nice! That's a lot of money to fritter away, what's he spent it on?!

MorelloKisses Mon 25-Mar-19 18:45:04

How much are these gifts (no excuse for the thoughtlessness) just wondered

Mmmmbrekkie Mon 25-Mar-19 18:46:28

I’d feel mortified m if I knew my adult children were having marital strife all over buying me a poxy mother’s day present!

jade19 Mon 25-Mar-19 18:47:13

Treaclesweet I don't know and I don't know if i want to ask. Because if its something stupid I may flip my lid.

jade19 Mon 25-Mar-19 18:50:03

Mmmmbrekie To be honest she probably wouldn't care of he got her something or not, but for me it's the principle.
I havent said anything to him about it xx

Drum2018 Mon 25-Mar-19 18:50:49

Why are you concerned about getting his mother a gift? Leave him to explain to her why he hasn't bought her a gift.

Mmmmbrekkie Mon 25-Mar-19 18:51:23


IvanaPee Mon 25-Mar-19 18:58:37

Are you a SAHM? I’m assuming you’re not married since you call him your dp?

You’re leaving yourself very vulnerable with someone like this...

jade19 Mon 25-Mar-19 18:59:45

Ivanapee Yes I am a stay at home mum xx

IvanaPee Mon 25-Mar-19 19:04:36

Do you have plans to return to work? Are you getting married any time soon?

ilovesooty Mon 25-Mar-19 19:05:22

Just get your mother a gift. He should buy for his own mum anyway.

Joebloggswazere Mon 25-Mar-19 19:05:38

You do sound quite controlling though....and what do you mean “buy all the gifts” for his mother? How much do you spend? Won’t a bunch of flowers or a box of chocolates do? I’m sure your emergency fund or what’s left of his bonus could stretch to that?

Drogosnextwife Mon 25-Mar-19 19:13:16

Oh for god sake. OP didn't ask for advice on wether she should get married or not. It's no one else's business wether OP will return to work soon.

IvanaPee Mon 25-Mar-19 19:16:43

Drogo, if OP’s partner can’t be trusted with money whilst she’s in such a precarious financial position then that’s something she should think about.

And it’s whether.

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