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To refused medication for DD

(162 Posts)
Imustbemad00 Thu 14-Feb-19 10:45:49

I’m just looking for advice of people with experience of similar situations and how things turned out. Without being rude, it’s a difficult time so please keep unwanted opinions to yourself.

My DD is suffering with mental health issues. She was referred to CAMHS over a year ago but due to the school cocking up the referral, she wasn’t actually on a waiting list. Finally got seen by CAMHS in a hospital in the summer, and it’s taken until now to actually start treatment.

She is severely depressed, anxious and has self harmed.
She was on a waitin list for cbt as they felt this was best. I called recently to see how long it would be and was told there was still a wait but there was another treatment option that was available ASAP.
I told them they needed to make the decision, as professionals, as to what treatment best meets her needs.

So she started the new treatment, which is more based around relationships and depression and I’m not 100% convinced it’s the best treatment.

On the first session, the (very senior) psychologist mentioned the possibility of medication.

Third session and the lady has said they want a doctor present next session to maybe start medication. This has been discussed with my daughter with no mention to me. I’m awaiting a phone call.

My issue is, shouldn’t they try all possible treatment for a period long enough for it to have an effect, before offering medication to a young girl.

Of course, I just want her to feel better, any which way, but I’m very apprehensive about medication. I admit I don’t know a lot about it but it scares me.

Why have we waited this long, to feel like we are just being fobbed off with medication on the third session.

Sirzy Thu 14-Feb-19 10:48:55

I think you need to sit down with her and the care team and discuss.

It may be the right medication will help her be in a better position to access the therapy.

How old is she?

My son is 9 and we have discussed medication. It was decided at that point increasing his adhd meds (which also help with anxiety which is a bigger issue than the depression for him) was better mainly due to his age. At the moment this is working but we know as he reaches puberty chances are we will need to go down the medication route.

I think the key is it being part of a long term plan not just the only answer

MrsJayy Thu 14-Feb-19 10:54:55

If she is ill or has a condition that medication might help her surely you should be talking positively with her and Drs about it sometimes therapies need medication to run along side it. It all sounds tough though and hopefully you are not being fobbed off.

Imustbemad00 Thu 14-Feb-19 10:57:10

When she started the treatment we was told the treatment she has, and cbt, both only run for 12 weeks. Made me feel a bit like we’d jist be tossed aside at the end of 12 weeks regardless of outcome.

I completely understand meds for adhd. I just thought with depression they would really try the therapy route properly first.

She’s 13.

MeetJoeTurquoise Thu 14-Feb-19 10:58:53

How old is she?

And sometimes medication is the best option. You say she's had three sessions sothat might be enough for them to make an informed decision?

CountessVonBoobs Thu 14-Feb-19 10:59:30

My issue is, shouldn’t they try all possible treatment for a period long enough for it to have an effect, before offering medication to a young girl.

You haven't said how old your DD is, but in general... No? If they have good clinical reason to believe that the benefits to her of medication would outweigh the disadvantages, it would be unethical of them not to recommend it.

BarbarianMum Thu 14-Feb-19 11:02:05

I needed medication for mild depression- felt 1000% better and more able to deal with my problems after 2 weeks.

I can see that with more serious depression medication alone might not be the answer but I can't imagine finding the energy and will to engage in therapy productively without it.

Houseonahill Thu 14-Feb-19 11:02:11

I took ADs at 15 while waiting for other treatment to become available. They did help. I understand it's not something to be rushed in to but if it helps in the meantime that can't be a bad thing surely?

SleepingStandingUp Thu 14-Feb-19 11:02:44

If she's so far down the rabbit hole she can't see the kgght, they might want to try meds to get her to a place where she can actually utilise the therapy.

You're right to be wary - you defiantly need to talk it all through but include your daughter in it. How long would she be on them, what monitoring is taking place, will the therapy continue, what happens if the meds don't work / stop working?

Ultimately you've said you can't make a decision and you don't feel qualified to make the call. They're making a call. I'd do everything to understand why and what next before you reject it

SeaToSki Thu 14-Feb-19 11:04:02

How old is she? Antidepressants and mood altering drugs often work in diferent ways in an adolescent to adults. If they were going to do a medication trail, i would want the prescribing done by someone who is very experienced in pediatric prescribing.

The most effective therapy for depression/anxiety is medication combined with counselling, so if they are going to medicate she would still need weekly counselling and weekly check ins with the presciber. They should start the medications at a low test dose and then slowly build it if there are no side effects. They should switch drugs if needed. If you can afford it, look at the GeneSight test. IT profiles your genetic makeup that controls the quantity of different liver enzymes. These enzymes breakdown the drugs they will be comsidering prescribing to your DD. With this information the test tells the psychiatrist which drugs to avoid and which to ise for fewer side effects and more effective dosing based on your DD exact enzyme makeup.

Its a good idea, but needs to be done cautiously and by pediatric professionals

Imustbemad00 Thu 14-Feb-19 11:05:29

Interesting opinions. I think I have a somewhat negative view of medication. Of course I’ll talk to them in detail about it and express my concerns.

Even normal meds (paracetamol or other general stuff) I don’t take unless I really really have to. It just feels so unnecessary.

I thought therapy was supposed to work? What’s the point in it if they’re not going to even give it a chance.

Anti depressants at 13 jist seems so...scary. I don’t want her to be addicted to tablets to make her happy.

Ellisandra Thu 14-Feb-19 11:05:41

Why would you persist with talking therapy though, if what she needs is medication?

My cousin (much younger than me) was depressed and anorexic.

She was given a very low dose AD. Her team said that without that, she wouldn’t be well enough to engage with the talking therapy.

She’s was on lowest dose for about 6 months, and is now fully recovered and 3 years on hasn’t had any relapse or need for medication.

Talk to the team involved to understand their reasons - but don’t be scared of medication.

Imustbemad00 Thu 14-Feb-19 11:08:18

Thanks for the replies from people that have had positive experience of taking medication.

I would definitely need to find out what happens at the end of the 12 weeks, 9 left now. As I was categorically told the therapy only runs to that set time scale.

PlainSpeakingStraightTalking Thu 14-Feb-19 11:08:36

* but I’m very apprehensive about medication. I admit I don’t know a lot about it but it scares me.*

Would you make the same comment about insulin, or ramipril, or a statin?

Namechange8471 Thu 14-Feb-19 11:10:51

As someone who experienced this at around the same age

Please let her have the medication.

I'd of killed myself at that age if I want medicated. They took the edge of whilst I got the help I needed. I've been in them a long time now, and honestly they help, side effects have wore off and I have a normal life.

Imustbemad00 Thu 14-Feb-19 11:11:02

I don’t know why two of those are. But the problem with AD is that I view them as addictive, hard to get off, altering moods to the point of making you emotionally numb and I guess I just want that to be a last resort.

MeetJoeTurquoise Thu 14-Feb-19 11:11:21

I'm currently on ADs awaiting talking therapy. I'm a month or so in on them and I'm feeling better able to cope with everything.

I used to be a bit of a martyr and only take pain relief when things were really bad. Now I have chronic illness I've realised that this did my mental health no good whatsoever, now I manage pain to help my head stay more level.

My dc is under CAMHS and I've already said I'll medicate them if needs be and they decide that's the best option.

LagunaBubbles Thu 14-Feb-19 11:11:24

just thought with depression they would really try the therapy route properly first

Anti depressants at 13 jist seems so...scary. I don’t want her to be addicted to tablets to make her happy

A combination of medication and therapy is often the best possible prognosis for depression. Anti-depressants are not addictive and most modern ones work by boosting the bodies serotonin levels which are depleted in clinical depression. It's not about relying on them to make so eone happy but tackling a biochemical defiency.

Imustbemad00 Thu 14-Feb-19 11:12:09

Thank you. It’s really helpful to know that. Glad your are doing well now.

TulipsTwoLips Thu 14-Feb-19 11:14:12

I too was prescribed medication at a young age. It was not a complete answer to everything but took the edge off the symptoms enough for me to benefit from counselling etc.

All these years later it actually turns out it was a hormone imbalance, but that medication at that time certainly eased the symptoms for me.

Good luck. It was a long road but you will get through it flowers

Whatisthisfuckery Thu 14-Feb-19 11:15:52

OP why are you afraid of your DD going on meds? What do you think is the worst thing that can happen if she does go on meds? What do you think is the worst that can happen if she doesn’t? Do you think that medication might make the next few months more bearable for her? Try to separate your, completely understandable, fear of the unknown from the reality of what might actually happen. Going on meds can really suck for the first couple of weeks, I know, I’ve been on loads of them, but they can also make a world of difference. Feeling so low that you hurt yourself is a fucking miserable way to live, again, experience, and almost anything is better than that, even if you can’t recognise it at the time.

DoneLikeAKipper Thu 14-Feb-19 11:16:40

Even normal meds (paracetamol or other general stuff) I don’t take unless I really really have to. It just feels so unnecessary.

That is not comparable I’m afraid. Depression isn’t a headache, it’s not something that will go away with a bit of rehydration and a brisk walk. The imbalance within your daughter may be a mental illness, but the root can be biological. You need to have a clear discussion with the doctors about this. Emotions are chemicals, and if those chemicals are not working properly in the body, sometimes medicine have to the artificial solution, just like insulin or thyroxine.

CountessVonBoobs Thu 14-Feb-19 11:23:29

I thought therapy was supposed to work?

It can. Brilliantly. But it isn't magical. It works by hard work on the part of the participant. People who are in crisis usually need to be stabilised on meds before they're in any condition to engage with talk therapy.

Honestly, you need to open your mind about medication. It's not magic either, but it's not addictive. As someone who has suffered with depression, what you're not understanding is that while they do have a somewhat mood-flattening effect, that is miles and miles better for the sufferer than the crushing low of depression. I was so fucking grateful to be stable and not living under a giant rock. When the mood flattening starts to be unwelcome rather than blissful, you know you're ready to think about tapering off.

Imustbemad00 Thu 14-Feb-19 11:24:15

Thank you. This thread has actually helped changed my mindset a bit.

I can see medication may be best for her. I’m still apprehensive and I guess I just wish it wasn’t happening.

Nobody wants their daughter on anti depressants. Maybe it’s jist another thing that’s making me realise how “real” this situation is, and it’s that I’m finding hard.

SnowyAlpsandPeaks Thu 14-Feb-19 11:26:11

I would have coped so much better during my teen years if I had been prescribed antidepressants.

You view them as addictive that’s not true. I’ve been on them and off them until I need them again. Some people need them once only, others many times. It depends on the person.

If they have recommended them for her, don’t put her through months of agony (and depression is agony) because of what you believe, help her to start getting out of the dark place now, you have the ability.

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