To think I'll manage having a toddler and a c section

[mintich]

Due on 4 weeks and making decisions about my birth plan.
I had a horrific birth last time and so have been set on a c section. There is a part of me that is thinking that if I had a vaginal birth (with no problems) then I would be able to cope better after the birth. Obviously no one can promise that I'd have no problems, and if the same thing happened again, I'd be so upset.
What would you do in my situation?
If you have a toddler, how did you cope after and elective c section?

[NewYearNewMe18]

Three children, 3 c/sections, coped perfectly well.

[Hidillyho]

I’m definitely having a c-section. My birth was horrific, I think I have a little PTS from it as I honestly couldn’t think of anything worse than going through it again.
My best friend had a c-section with a toddler. The new baby was really poorly.
You cope because you have to. If you haven’t done over nights with other people with your current DC then I would suggest doing it. My friends DS didn’t spend much time away from his mum and he found it hard (not traumatically so) which added to the parents stress of the situation

[Creeper8]

I am a LP and had an emcs, I had 4 kids to look after as a Lone parent and gave birth in hospital alone (was single in pregnancy)... I came home and looked after 4 kids under 7 alone. Its not ideal but I managed.

[ThursdayLastWeek]

I had a just turned 3yo after the elcs birth if my DC2.
To make sure you recover as quickly as possible have as much help as is humanly possible with the toddler for two weeks!
I made sure DC1 was in a bed so I didn’t have to lift them into a cot, DH did bath times.
If someone offers to take the toddler out - accept!

The more thorough the recovery you allow yourself the quicker/mire bulletproof it will be!

[theculture]

Was so tired being heavily pregnant and having a toddler that a newborn + toddler + csection was a walk in the park

[mintich]

Luckily my fiance is amazing and will do a lot of the work while he is off. I have had a few friends say I wont manage....not that they have been in this situation!

[Srsly]

I coped fine.

You will be better and better every day. I was slow for 3/4 days (so only 1/2 at home) and on painkillers for about 2 weeks, but after the first few days I could do enough to feel relatively normal. I felt more capable than I have 40weeks pregnant when I was just heavy and cumbersome.

Don't overdo it. If you leave heavy household chores to someone else for the first week or two you will be fine.

I couldn't carry my toddler for a week or so but I was fine popping him on and off the toilet.

My section was the best choice I ever made. Fully recommend it.

[Pleasegodgotosleep]

I had a csection 7 weeks ago with an almost 3 year old at home. DH had 2 weeks paternity leave which was invaluable. We managed fine. Good luck!

[Creeper8]

I was bumping a double buggy up 6 flights of stairs daily immediately after my first csection. You will be surprised at what you can do when you have no choice.

[ShowOfHands]

I found emcs recovery a doddle. Try and arrange as much help as possible and then if you don't need it, you can enjoy it anyway!

[Mumberjack]

You’ll manage - I had an almost 3yo when I had my youngest and it was fine. Sore to start with obvs and was knackered but hey that’s newborns!

[Shoppingwithmother]

I had an emergency section with my first child, then had an elective with my second 3 years later. It was absolutely fine and to be honest I was out and about more quickly than a lot of people I knew who had vaginal births.

[PinkFluffyFairy]

Another LP here to 3. Can home with 3rd after a C-sec (dc2 was 16 months Dc1 4yrs). Managed. Not ideal, but managed.

[Spaceman101]

I managed far better than I thought I would. Had my DH home for 3 weeks which helped. The only thing I struggled with was not being able to lift my 3yr old up but this didn't last long.

[BarryTheKestrel]

@mintich I could have written your OP. I'm 36 weeks today and am awaiting my date for my elective. My first birth was highly traumatic for me and whilst a simple straightforward birth would be great, it can't be guaranteed so an elective is best for me.

I'm scared of the recovery with DD(3.5) around but I have help around, it'll be fine. Logically if I wasn't having an elective there is still the possibility of an emcs so at least this way I can have all the help in place without rushing around.

Good Luck!

[Echobelly]

2 planned c-sections, was a total non-issue when I had DS and DD was 3, I don't recall being unable to do anything I needed to do. Can depend on c-section, some practitioners are better at them than others and I was fortunately to have both done well and without complications, and, as I said, they were planned, so it's not like it was after 29 hours in labour or anything. But on the whole, the idea that you'll be severely hampered by a c-section doesn't seem to have much truth to it.

[SemperIdem]

You will be fine. Your friends are being really unhelpful suggesting otherwise.

[Easterbuns1]

17 months between my first two, both elective sections. Managed fine and DH was straight back to working 2 jobs once youngest was born so didn't have any help at all really. Just make sure to take regular pain relief while you recover and not overdo it too much.

[Cloglover]

2 planned c sections 2 years apart. Both went incredibly well. 2 days after I came home with no 2 parter was admitted to hospital for 24 hours with food poisoning so home alone. If all goes well, and you don't over do it you will be fine. I know people that haven't recovered easily and found it hard. Its impossible to predict but planned sections tend to be so much easier to recover from than emergency. Good luck. X

[Caterina99]

C section when DS was 2yr 3 months. I was lucky and had a lot of help for the first 4 weeks, and I followed the advice about not lifting etc for 6 weeks as much as I could. And I healed up perfectly fine, no issues at all. It was hard of course, but I doubt once the first 2 weeks were over that it was particularly harder than a natural birth

[Monty27]

DD was 2.5 when DS was born. Both CS. I didn't breast feed as long with DS it was a bit stressful. DD went to a private nursery for a couple of hours in the afternoon for a while until I got stronger. I was a single parent before DS was 2 as their df was a waste of space.

[GnomeDePlume]

DC1 was 3 when DC2 was born. She was so helpful (and pleased to help, I wasnt using her as a slave!). You know that moment when you are pinned to the sofa feeding a newborn and suddenly realise you need a tissue? That kind of help!

[dustarr73]

I had an 18 month old and a 3 year old.My son who was 16 lifted the kids any time i needed.And pushed the double buggy so we werent confined to the house.

Dp had to go back to work.So he was a godsend really.

[Koalablue]

I had a 15 month and c/s. I coped. Youll be just fine.

[linkylink]

As above it really helps if your oldest can assist with passing stuff! I had an elective CS when eldest was just under 3 but I made sure I had parents, childminder and DH around for at least 4 weeks. Not just for recovery but so DC1 wasn’t bored. I tried to stick to the no lifting for 6 weeks even when I felt capable as I felt it was important. Personally I found the initially recovery much much harder than expected (even though I healed well, was discharged with paracetemol & ibuprofen the next day) but I only had my first VB (no intervention & 2 stitches) & an appendicitis to compare it too. With my appendicitis opp I was kept in a lot longer & giving morphine for a few days.