Am I being precious??

[codswallopandbalderdash]

OK - DS starts primary school in Sept. Just been given loads of forms to complete over summer including one about giving consent for photography etc. No problem with giving consent generally i.e. for school website / school photo etc BUT have just realised local paper does a supplement containing pictures of all school starters which are also published online / for sale

I am really uncomfortable with this as think it is exploitative and simply a way for the paper to sell more copies / make money. Expect there is some sort of deal in place with LEA to allow access for photos. But I feel I am being forced into an impossible position. Give consent and my child's photo is published in a newspaper / online or don't give consent and my child gets upset because they are not included in group activity / treated differently.

Am I being precious? Over-thinking this? DH says I should't make a fuss. I wouldn't mind so much if DS was able to make an informed choice himself or there seemed to be a general reason for this (i.e. celebrating particular success). WWYD??

[ReadingRiot]

When I first worked in an infant school I was surprised they allowed this, for all the reasons you say. Most parents seem to love it though and I would have been a very controversial decision to stop it.

There's no agreement with the LA. It's down to the individual schools to agree.

[Pippa12]

Tbh... i wouldnt give it too much head space. Nobody is forced to buy the papers and its a nice keepsake. Personally i think you'll have bigger fish to fry.

[Mybabystolemysanity]

With luck, he'll have his picture in the paper for lots of wonderful achievements during his school career. I think I would let this one go. I don't think the school supplement is particularly cynical, especially given the enjoyment so many people get from them. My school pictures in the paper went all over the world to various friends of my grandparents. They're also nice to look back on now I'm 34 and really very average!

[Nicknacky]

What exactly is your concern?

[MrsSnootyPants2018]

I think you're really over thinking it.

[NewIdeasToday]

It’s really nice to see these photos in the local paper. You’re really over thinking this.

[OwlinaTree]

Can you ask for him not to be photographed for this particular thing, but consent to a general photo for press thing. I think you should be able to withdraw consent for any one event.

[kitkatsky]

Your child won't know to be upset age 4, but you haven't mentioned a reason to be upset? Some parents (victims of DV) don't want their ex to kniw where kid goes Theo school etc but it this dsnt apply question it I guess

[Ohmydayslove]

Wwyd?

Move on. If your kid is in the local paper and most arnt it’s a loveky keep sake.

But if you are uncomfortable just say so. No one will care.

[HarshingMyMellow]

It's difficult.

If a person has had to flee a violent relationship/situation and they give consent - it's easy for the perpetrator to find the child and locate the person and child (down to area at least)
But if they don't, their child doesn't get a school photo?

I've never heard of new school starters being published in the paper.

[Nicknacky]

harshing Really? Our two local newspapers have the photos every year.

[Allthatglittersisgold]

I love seeing the first year at school photos. Unless you have a specific privacy concern I really think you are over thinking it.

[codswallopandbalderdash]

My concern is that I think it is exploitative on the part of the newspaper - it's about them making money by selling photos / more newspapers by taking a picture of my child just because they are starting school. And I don't think I can say no because if I do my child will be singled out and made to feel different.

[HarshingMyMellow]

@Nicknacky I have never heard or seen of it, but our local paper ceased printing last year. Maybe that's why.

[Neverender]

If you're that bothered then withhold consent...which is exactly what they've given you permission to do...?!

[Neverender]

So, say no. Done.

[Neverender]

They won't be singled out at all - they just won't publish any of their photos. Gah! Precious, much?

[Nicknacky]

harshing Possibly but it’s certainly normal where I’m from.

Op, I don’t think they will sell many more papers, maybe to the parents but that’s it.

[codswallopandbalderdash]

I accept I may be over-thinking this but I don't really understand why people love to see school starters in the paper? I plan to take my own photos as keepsakes, just don't see the value of this.

[Durianfruit]

He won’t know, OP. I don’t give permission for my six year old’s photo to be taken at school at all, and it’s never bothered him that he doesn’t appear on school social media etc.

[Nicknacky]

No one bothers apart form families. Honestly, no one will pay any attention to your child.

[Ohmydayslove]

I Think you are overthinking this don’t you?

[codswallopandbalderdash]

I have been told that if I withhold consent I will not get a school photo as this is also carried out by a third party. I think I am going to have to let this go, but was really surprised this was the norm.

[Allthatglittersisgold]

Forgive me if I am being naive here. Whats the problem with a local newspapers selling lots of papers and making some money to continue making newspapers? Surely local newspapers are something to support?

[EstrellaDamn]

If your beef is with exploitation of children by the media then that ain't going to be tackled by there being one kid missing from one class photo.

Honestly shaking my head at how very few fucks I personally give about this, and how people are so very different.