living with DP for nearly a year now and we've been great most of the time, however he likes his spirit, he controlled the drinking in the week by buying just a miniature to have in his coffee but once a week he goes out and gets pissed, mostly comes home and goes to bed, but sometimes (about 4-5times in this period)has arrived with paranoia and woken me up questioning etc. he usually doesn't remember much next morning and this is caused by the spirit.
this is not acceptable and I know we have argued, and nearly split.
last time he only came back pissed and not paranoiac but I said enough, when he knew that was it for me he worked until I gave in again and let him decide what he could do for me to give him the one more chance. he said no spirit and only out once a week. I said ok lets do this for 3 months and see.
about a week and half later(3 days ago) he came home with a miniature, he probably forgot to hide it from me but he says he forgot about the ban and didn't feel he needed to as he'd been good so far and it's only a miniature.
As soon as I got angry DP asked if I'd been drinking, me: NO, then he said I was just looking for an argument, me:NO and then that I was clearly changing as I used to be so tolerant and now am showing my true colors me: GGrrrrr. at this point I walked away from the conversation, as it was getting very heated and because this is to me was worse than the drink as he was just turning the tables.
I didn't speak to him again till last night.
subject brought up again and went in same direction 3 days later still no acceptance he shouldn't have bought the miniature.
As a rule he is amazing, a lovely person and we get on fantastic. I don't want to LTB over this but we seem so far apart on this I don't see how to resolve it.
AIBU and Should I be so adamant about the one miniature? or about the turning the tables to make me be the baddy? he just doesn't seem to hear me.
Any advice on how to move forward or not?
sorry if this is long
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AIBU?
splitting for a miniture or AIBU
45 replies
Goodfood1 · 24/05/2018 07:56
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