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AIBU?

DH going away close to due date

38 replies

Cheeseandapple · 24/04/2018 21:55

I'm 38 weeks pregnant with first baby and DH is planning a night away at the weekend. He'll be over 2.5 hours away visiting PIL. I have no family nearby & DM will be out if the country (otherwise she would come stay). AIBU to feel anxious that he's going away so close to DD and to feel sad that he's going away at all? Can't tell if I'm just really hormonal and need to chill or if it's legitimate.

Ps had midwife appointment yesterday and the baby's head is not engaged yet.

OP posts:

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Sally2791 · 24/04/2018 21:57

I wouldn't be impressed. Why doesn't he feel he should stay close?

NapQueen · 24/04/2018 21:58

He is 2.5h away. If you call him on the first contraction he will still arrive before the hospital even let you go in!

Its one night.

couchparsnip · 24/04/2018 22:00

Definitely him BU.

firstworldproblems2018 · 24/04/2018 22:01

Ooh tough one. Is it your first baby?

ChaChaChaCh4nges · 24/04/2018 22:01

I had DC1 in 3 hours (from very first contraction) at 38+0 weeks. And DC3 in 2.25 hours at 38+1 weeks. DC2 was 2.5 hours but kindly waited until a week after we’d moved house, and came at 40+1 weeks.

You’re term, it could happen any time now, and it could be quick.

eurochick · 24/04/2018 22:02

Why does he need to go?

Emma198 · 24/04/2018 22:03

What's his reason for going away? Random trip or something important?

Fruitcorner123 · 24/04/2018 22:05

Unless he has a really good reason I think he is BU. Surely his parents will be coming down to meet the baby shortly after the birth anyway?

Bodicea · 24/04/2018 22:07

No way should he be leaving you at this stage for something none essential. My waters went in bed at 38 weeks with my first. My contractions came thick and fast and I was in agony quite quickly. I didn’t have the baby for andother 24 hours but I still needed him there from the start as I was scared, in pain and couldn’t drive myself. Why would he want to leave you on your own at this stage?

pastabest · 24/04/2018 22:09

Completely understand how you are feeling but if you look at it unemotionally the chances of you going into labour in the next 4-5 days are relatively slim given it's your first and the head isn't yet engaged.

Also labour is rarely like you see on TV, most of the time (especially with your first) you tend to get a fair bit of notice, certainly usually more than 2.5 hours.

Despite all that, in your position I would expect him to have an extremely good reason for visiting PILs when you are 38 weeks pregnant.

Cheeseandapple · 24/04/2018 22:12

@firstworldproblems2018 yes first baby.

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KadabrasSpoon · 24/04/2018 22:12

Is it important? Can he go another time?
You'll get posters saying labour will be slow but there's no guarantee of that.

Aprilmightbemynewname · 24/04/2018 22:14

Why does he want /need to go?

Homemenu1 · 24/04/2018 22:15

What’s his reason for going?

Leeds2 · 24/04/2018 22:16

I wouldn't be impressed. Unless he has a really good reason to be away. Tbh, I am surprised he would want to be away and potentially miss the birth of his first born.

Cheeseandapple · 24/04/2018 22:17

It's for a birthday - the birthday was a couple of weeks ago but he bought tickets to something on the weekend and wants to go with them.

Thanks for all your replies - feeling validated. I think, as it's our first and he's not experiencing pregnancy he's just more removed from it than me. He's been very involved and really excited, not sure why this has become an issue.

OP posts:

AfterSchoolWorry · 24/04/2018 22:17

Just tell him no.

lindyhopy · 24/04/2018 22:17

he is BU surprised PIL is encouraging this.

Cheeseandapple · 24/04/2018 22:18

I've told him I don't want him to go and he won't but he's a bit sulky now.

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Emma198 · 24/04/2018 22:23

Did he buy the tickets before you were pregnant? X

Aquamarine1029 · 24/04/2018 22:24

I am a very independent, secure person, but even I would have been furious at my husband if he pulled this shite. His first responsibility is to YOU and your baby, not some fucking birthday celebration. You are heavily pregnant and need his support. Obviously, the chances that an emergency concerning your pregnancy are slim, but what if it did? You would need him by your side immediately, not in 3 hours. I would tell him in no uncertain terms that this is not happening. I'm shocked that his family would expect or encourage him to leave you at this time.

MadeForThis · 24/04/2018 22:25

I'm assuming he would be more sulky if he missed the birth.

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Aprilmightbemynewname · 24/04/2018 22:29

Just thought, if he goes there would it put the ils off coming to you when the baby arrives?

Iloveacurry · 24/04/2018 22:30

You’re not being unreasonable, I wouldn’t be happy either. He’ll get over his sulk.

BoxsetsAndPopcorn · 24/04/2018 22:30

It wouldn't have bothered me but DH could have been further away with work than 2.5 hours so no different.

As long as not drinking so he could drive back if need be I'd have no issue with this,

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