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AIBU?

to ask how on earth you get ready with a toddler??

54 replies

joleigh332 · 22/02/2018 14:14

Second DC but big age gap plus first was more of a laid back baby.

Second DC is 18 months and I am struggling to run so much as a hairbrush through! Other mums on school run (even with teeny babies) seem to manage to look lovely!

If I put DC in cot (still with me), she cries so I just about manage to shove hair in a bun. Can't do while she's eating breakfast or anything as that would be downstairs (obviously unsafe to leave her), if she is in with me she wouldn't happily sit and watch TV or anything she just wants to be held.

Have I just got a v demanding baby or am I missing a trick??? It doesn't matter on the grand scheme of things but my confidence has hit rock bottom with baby weight not shifting and I'd feel 1000x better if I could get a bit of mascara on or style my hair!

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joleigh332 · 22/02/2018 14:15

Oh and if I let her just roam the bedroom she would either cry at my feet to be held or pull everything out of drawers etc.

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youngestisapsycho · 22/02/2018 14:17

Crying in the cot for 5/10 mins is no harm... I had to do that when mine were younger, with some toys/soft books.

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Doje · 22/02/2018 14:18

I know this isn't always possible, depending on circumstances etc, but where possible I get up and dressed before my DH leaves the house, when if this means getting up earlier than necessary.

I know I'm lucky as DH doesn't leave the house until 8am. I get up and showed by 7.30am so I am ready to go before tackling the kids.

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Kerry111 · 22/02/2018 14:19

My second is the same. I can't leave him anywhere as he screams. If I let him roam he destroys the place. I'm exhausted. I have managed to lose weight and that's helping my confidence. Not sure the answer. I always feel like a flake saying how hard 2 are when others seem to breeze along with more. I could manage 5 of my daughter for 1 of my son. So I guess it depends on the child.

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Steeley113 · 22/02/2018 14:19

For the School run I don’t bother. Winter is great for shoving on leggings and hoody with hair in a messy bun. Otherwise I just let him scream/trash things while I get ready Grin needs must.

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Steeley113 · 22/02/2018 14:20

Oh and brows done and eyelash extensions make life so much quicker.

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Changingagain · 22/02/2018 14:22

I'd say don't worry about how you look, but I know it's not that easy as I do too.

I get up at 4.45 so I can have a shower before DH leaves at 5 and then I normally have 30 minutes -1 hour to finish getting myself ready, get my work things and lunch sorted and make breakfast before DS wakes up.

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Countingsheeeep · 22/02/2018 14:23

My first is like this, she is nearly 13 months and wants to be held most of the time. I was only thinking this morning that surely by now she should be a little more independent...reading your post it would seem not!

When I try to get ready she will cry and whinge at my feet, so I typically either get up with dh so that I have at the very least showered, and then I sort hair when she has her morning nap. I'm not sure she will need the morning one for much longer at which point I'm not sure what I will do...just out up with a bit of whining I suppose, although DS is due in 5 weeks and if he is the same as DD then I may aswell just shave my head and be done with it!

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Monoblock67 · 22/02/2018 14:23

Take hairdryer and makeup etc downstairs so she can eat while you’re getting ready?

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RosieposiePuddingandPi · 22/02/2018 14:24

I have to get up and shower before DH goes to work or I wouldn't be able to! All my hair and make up stuff is in a box in the living room and I sit on the floor doing that while DS watches cartoons sitting on my lap or playing in the living room with me. It just about works for us and DS is a very demanding child.

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SparklyMagpie · 22/02/2018 14:27

My DS is 2 but I used to bring a little mirror downstairs and put on the window whilst I did my make up and hair but now he has a gate on his room so he can play with his toys whilst I get ready in the bedroom

I used to be so fussy an want to make sure my hair and make up was done all the time but I learnt to get over it and now it's only for the nursery run or unless we're meeting up with a friend 😂

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kaytee87 · 22/02/2018 14:27

I bring ds in the shower with me, leave him in there while I dry and stick my clothes on.
Dry hair and do makeup while he runs around my bedroom naked, laughing whenever I 'get him' with the hair drier.

He doesn't cry to be held though so that makes life easier.

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SparklyMagpie · 22/02/2018 14:27

Or actually like most posters, sometimes if he's woken up very early or I wake up, I have a brew with my mum (who's up at 4.30 for work) and then get ready then :)

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UniversalTruth · 22/02/2018 14:28

Hairdryer might be too noisy for toddler but definitely put a mirror in the dining area and do make up whilst she eats. Don't judge against others, some children are harder work than others and it's nothing you've done or not done.

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JeffsNewAngle · 22/02/2018 14:30

Maybe shower and do your hair at night?

I’m presuming you have a partner who could step up then while you have a bath/ shower?

Fwiw, I s babies who need to be held make fantastic little adults if you do indeed hold them. Think of it as investment, carry them for the year or two and then you’ll not have to do much else with them later.

I know it’s hell not to have a minute with a needy baby/toddy, but it will all work out later. Just carry her and she’ll be fine. Talk to her constantly, a running commentary on what you’re doing: you won’t regret it later on.

This is the stitch in time that will save you nine later on. Trust me!

Good luck with it.

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user1499786242 · 22/02/2018 14:38

I do my makeup and hair downstairs! Sat on the sofa with CBeebies on or whilst toddler is pottering around with toys!
Then literally chuck clothes on in seconds, leggings and a jumper normally
Whilst he is pottering around the bedroom!
Or I get dressed downstairs!
Only shower when partner is home or little one is in the bath at the same time!

I've actually surprised myself how bad I'm willing to let myself look and still leave the house tho 😭😩

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joleigh332 · 22/02/2018 14:40

Its not so much that I worry what others think or anything I just always feel so rubbish rushing out with no make up and scruffy hair, my skin is awful at mo too so I just generally feel so much better if I can just put a bit of foundation/mascara on and do something with my hair!

Thinking about it I used to wash hair/style it in the evenings with DC1, DC2 is in my room so can't really do that without dragging full sized mirror and everything downstairs and she is a really light sleeper so would probably wake.

I think maybe I should invest in a small mirror and do downstairs that sounds an excellent idea!

Kerry your children sound exactly like mine!! If DC2 was my first I'm not sure I'd have wanted more, they are just complete opposites, DC1 a happy placid thing that slept all night, napped on schedule etc. Expected DC2 to be similar... Shock

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joleigh332 · 22/02/2018 14:41

I know her crying for 5 mins won't do any harm, she often has to while I sort out DC1 for school, or while I shower etc. but I just can't get ready while she screams and puts her arms up to get out its just distressing for the both of us and I tend not to bother as it gets so stressful.

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Sunshinegirl82 · 22/02/2018 14:46

iPad in the cot buys me about 7 minutes and I do as much as possible in that time. I don't think I've ever been particularly high maintenance but I'm now satisfied with being clean most days!

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AlwaysPondering · 22/02/2018 14:47

Perhaps start doing makeup/hair downstairs instead whilst she eats (make space in a draw downstairs for your stuff) or let her play with some of your makeup brushes providing there's no dark eyeshadow on any! For a while I had to do that and DD loved it. Or give her a pot with some of your lipglosses if you have any that she can put in and out of pot. That sort of thing. It won't go on forever OP. My DD was like that not so long ago.

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IWouldLikeToKnow · 22/02/2018 14:54

Not great parenting advice but I've resorted to giving my little man my phone with YouTube videos playing to let me have 10 mins to get dressed/straighten hair/throw on make up on days when my husband has gone to work. He leaves the house at 6.45am or else hasn't come home from night shit 3-4 days a week. There's no option to do it prior to my son getting up as he either wakes at stupid o clock or else wakes as soon as your feet hit the floor to try and sneak to the bathroom!! I tend to shower and wash my hair in the evenings.

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Biscuits2or3 · 23/02/2018 11:53

I get up before the children and get washed teeth brushed makeup on. I shower whilst my husbands in the house, but not every day as i used to. If i haven't had chance to shower and wash my hair and its feeling a bit grotty dry shampoo is my new best friend. I have never really worn a lot of make-up though as prefer a more natural look so none of these things are particularly time consuming. For my older 2 children 5 and 3 I get them washed etc before they go downstairs for breakfast otherwise they find something to distract themselves and i end up with a battle to get them ready in time, this then frees me up whilst theyre all eating to stick some clothes on.

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Cornettoninja · 23/02/2018 12:21

I've got a clingon toddler - I'll be in your gang Grin

It's a mission for sure. I've not got the option to get up before dd since the only way to get her to sleep past 4am is to have her in with me and she wakes/tantrums if I leave her...

Basically I get dressed, do make and hair downstairs with her while she's distracted with breakfast and/or tv. It's the only way to function on a work day when we all have to be up and out. Even then it doesn't always work if she decides nothing but cuddles are enough. I always make sure I've showered the night before so I can get away with a strip wash the next morning.

I keep a more normal routine on mornings there's no time pressure so we can practice without the atmosphere of the stress of having to be ready for a deadline.

Before dd I used to get up an hour before I needed to just so I could sit with a coffee and potter.... I miss those days! I foolishly thought this was me being ahead of the game for child rearing Grin

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ChristmasCakes · 23/02/2018 12:24

I sit on the landing floor, big mirror leaning against the wall and he can play around me or sit on me knee if he likes.

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ChristmasCakes · 23/02/2018 12:25

If I really can't get ready I keep some makeup in my handbag to shove on before I go into work!

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