To not want a Health Visitor despite MH history?

[SunSeaSalt]

Meh, I've seen her twice now and she just seems patronising in the way she comes across. If I tell her about something/how I do something (that I'm happy with), she always suggests alternatives/tells me how I should do something.

I would just change HV but friends and family have generally had the same experience with all of their HV.

I'm cautious of saying I don't want to see her anymore, because I had a history of psychosis in my earlier teens and this went against me in hospital.

In a nutshell, one particular consultant demanded I stay for 5 days at least after birth and when I self discharged, had it go against medical advice procedures and it was made clear to me Social Services will be in touch. This is all despite her saying she would allow formal discharge if I agreed to see a psychiatrist. I saw a psychiatrist, he quite literally found it funny he would go against my plans since I had been very well for years and showing no sign of being unwell.

She made me feel like a piece of crap in hospital, despite my perfect feeder and sleeper of a baby.

As not to drip-feed, I did express to my GP that I was feeling mildly paranoid mid pregnancy but this was resolved and those feelings went away almost as quickly as they came.

Social services never did contact me

We wrote a complaint officially to PALS and were told we would hear back mid January.

[DearMrDilkington]

How old is baby now?

[chocolateorangeowls]

My HV has been lovely and really supportive. I think it's worth asking for a different one.

[SunSeaSalt]

Dear 9 weeks today

[ThisLittleKitty]

I only seen the Hv once when my baby was 10 days old. Now 8 months. They must be seeing you more often for a reason?

[SunSeaSalt]

I know some people find their health visited helpful but I don't feel like I need one tbh.

We go to special mummy and me swim classes. We visit family/friends. We go shopping etc etc

If I have any issues, I speak to GP

[Faintlinesquints]

It's a difficult one, but the reasoning for the hospital wanting to monitor you so well is that the short times after birth women have such a high risk of previous mental health conditions coming back, or worsening even if it's been years, some conditions are also underlying and never really go away so I depend what it is that effected you when you were younger (sadly I know this first hand). When you self discharged that would have been around the time most women get the 'baby blues' (hate this term) which can be so much worse for those of us with underlying conditions.

On the other hand, I think things could have been explained far more diplomatically and given you credit for understanding your own feelings and reaching out of you felt you needed help. Sadly some women are unable to do this.

In regards to hv, I would request a change. Not all of them are sanctimonious know it alls - I've had my share too mind you but the one personal who helped me through it all was the most wonderful health visitor.

Tbh you don't really see hv's that much. Vaccinations and milestone health checks, unless you take baby to weighing clinic or ask for further help from them (in my area anyway)

I think with previous mental health problems (even so far back) and following your self discharge from hospital, if you declined any health visitor now then it would be a big red flag. Change health visitors, and be honest why.

[SunSeaSalt]

ThisLittle Yeah But I don't know why.

And apparently 6/8 week visits are mandatory around here, as are 6 month, 1 year and 18 month etc

[Eltonjohnssyrup]

It's worth just putting up with it to keep them off your backs. It might feel intrusive but you would probably have to put up with worse intrusion if you refuse. It's early days and you're in a high risk group so there could still be issues in the coming months.

Bear in mind, although they will be concerned with your welfare their primary concern will be your DCs welfare not your wants.

At the moment you're in a high risk group but coping well and cooperating and if that continues it should just be short term that you are putting up with the intrusion.

If you become high risk group, uncooperative and demonstrating behaviours which are a red flag for deteriorating MH (like refusing to see a HV) then, yes, SS may well become involved and you will have to put up with a higher level of intrusion for a longer period.

It's just not worth it, just put up with it for a few months until the HVs back off a bit.

[ThisLittleKitty]

None of mine seen the Hv beyond the first visit. Where do you live? Always heard Hvs are optional. I've never needed one.

[x2boys]

I can understand the consultant being cautious tbh if you have a history of psychosis no matter how long you have been well , puerpal psychosis can come on very suddenly after birth that's said I never found health visitors all that helpful.

[SunSeaSalt]

It's a difficult one, but the reasoning for the hospital wanting to monitor you so well is that the short times after birth women have such a high risk of previous mental health conditions coming back, or worsening even if it's been years, some conditions are also underlying and never really go away so I depend what it is that effected you when you were younger (sadly I know this first hand). When you self discharged that would have been around the time most women get the 'baby blues' (hate this term) which can be so much worse for those of us with underlying conditions

Oh yes, I completely agree. But the consultant went against why a psychiatrist said, which was that I was of complete sane mind and needn't be held there, even under 'strong recommendation'.

The consultant who dealt with me that time was incredibly rude and made some shocking comments that I shan't go into, but the bottom line is I can't believe that procedure was allowed to be put into place.

If anything, it makes vulnerable women less likely to open up.

And why should me refusing to see a HV be a red flag? I haven't suffered with MH issues in years, and I have been carefully watched for the first 5 weeks by my community Midwife. I agreed to this because she was lovely and I didn't mind seeing her

But it's quite annoying, having someone ask you how you are in yourself repetitively when you are definitely fine.

The fact I went to my Gp when the slightest hint of something being off came to me goes to show I know how to manage my own self. Yes, there is the possibility MH can take a turn at any time but surely you have to back off a bit if a woman is saying she doesn't feel it necessary at that present time?

[Pippioddstocking]

They need to protect your baby . Regardless of what you say to them, history is history . They would be negligent not to be monitoring you now and they would be right to be concerned if you now refused to see the health visitor . Just go with it, they are short visits, grin and bare it.

[SunSeaSalt]

If you become high risk group, uncooperative and demonstrating behaviours which are a red flag for deteriorating MH (like refusing to see a HV) then, yes, SS may well become involved and you will have to put up with a higher level of intrusion for a longer period

But what would SS have to report on? Feck all.

I understand the history of psychosis, that's fine. But I was monitored twice a week for the first 5 weeks and the reports on me were great. Exclusively breastfeeding, baby sleeping through. Mum looking well. Baby happy and alert. Weighed gain very very good etc etc.

Given that, I can't see SS getting involved in such a way like some are suggesting.

What grounds do they have? This woman was suffering with psychosis in her early teens, so because she doesn't want a HV anymore, we just closely monitor, despite great reports and baby being well?

[SunSeaSalt]

Tbh I can 100% see why many people aren't truthful with how they are if this is the level of intrusion on someone who hasn't been mentally unwell for years, since late childhood in fact

And that isn't good.

[crunchymint]

Social Services will have had the same view as your psychiatrist i.e. wtf, we have people with real needs to deal with. I would just refuse to see them.

[DearSergio]

Your MH background sounds similar to mine, I had psychosis when I was 15. With my first child ( when I was 18 ) I didn't have any additional checks by a HV or anyone else, and even though I've mentioned it with every subsequent pregnancy I've never had any issue ( even after I had PND with my youngest ) I'd speak to your Gp or another health visitor and request a new health visitor and question why your having these additional checks. I requested a different health visitor with my youngest as the one I had was awful, she dismissed me when I said I was feeling low and teary after dd was born and then gossiped about me to my friend who was also under her care

[SunSeaSalt]

crunchy The psychiatrist was very and amused by the lack of consideration the consultant had for context.

DH thinks SS read his report and that's why they didn't contact me, nor did they even follow it up since the consultant had bugger all to go on apart from very well managed psychosis from my teens.

I understand about me being more vulnerable to those symptoms returning postnatal, hence the Midwife visits twice a week for the first 5 weeks.

[Faintlinesquints]

What you will be getting from HV now will be what every woman gets.. you'll only need to see them for the babies vaccinations and the milestone health checks, and refusing those would be a red flag as they are for the health and wellbeing to the baby.
At this point I'm afraid you'll have to cooperate.
I'm really sorry you've had such a bad experience and if you truly feel that the consultant was out of bounds then I think you should put a complaint in.

Unfortunately the consultant of the department you are at the time, trumps anyone else's decision if there's a disagreement. Similarly what happened to me... baby had a bad apnoea episode (she was premature so happened regularly) saw GP straight away, checked over completely and deemed all fine.
The next day her nose bled a bit so took her straight to a&e and explained what happened. Very quickly and horrifically to me things changed... they stated I had 'failed to present' and didn't seek appropriate treatment - even thought the GP had seen dd immediately and she was prone to such episodes. I even had the GP come in to the hospital and speak to the consultant, but the consultants decision was final. She was put through many, many tests as they thought she had perhaps been shaken and I ended up with a panel meeting and a few visits from social services as a result. Clearly it was a mix up, and they were happy with dds care, and that was that.
The main reason there was so much input and ss involved..... previous mental health condition.

I have never told anyone that before, but it seems relevant because no matter what happened, any underlying mental health condition makes health professionals think twice, rightly or wrongly so. Allowing hv now, even through gritted teeth, will keep things better for you in the long run.
Existing condition, refusing visits, red flag. Sad but true.

[SunSeaSalt]

Dead sorry to hear it, she had no right to gossipy to your friend! Talk about lack of patient confidentiality! I can't even give an admission date to anyone unless they are cleared as an approved person or the patient agrees. I'm only a medical secretary

Might be worth adding (forgot to put it in OP), that no other consultants dealing with my care throughout were vaguely interested in my MH background. And MW just made sure to ask if I was okay at every routine visit.

This consultant after I gave birth was really quite nasty, there is no other way to explain her. And she spoke down to the midwives in my care, and the students. All in front of me and DH

[Borriblesrule]

H/V not mandatory in England.
Where I live your babies next reviews are primarily development at 8-12 m and 2-2 1/2.

As a H/V I would confirm your good relationship with GP with regard to your mental health and happily not see you ( from the history you describe) . We work closely with GP's and they would raise any further Concerns. You would be given info on drop in clinics and other local resources . Letters would be sent for reviews and your choice if you have Them.

[SunSeaSalt]

Borrible I do remember giving my consent for the HV to access anything the GP feels is postnatal/baby related on my records

[Yura]

i kicked my health visitor out as she is useless and patronising (kept pressuring me to switch to formular and bottle - baby was gaining weight well, always exactly on 50th percentile, no issues). If idoesn't work for you, get tid of her but make sure you'll get support otherwise in case you'll need it (GP?)

[Louiselouie0890]

Seems they can't win. Don't help enough especially with mental health problems then they're neglectful. If they try and help they're intrusive. Honestly I think you should just go along with it they're not there long.

[checksolar]

I had the same thing with my HV, I had to put up with her visiting regularly throughout the first 2 years as I have past and ongoing MH issues. I didn't feel it helped in any way, but it was easier to just tolerate the visits and grin and bear it than to risk any other referrals and rocking the boat. Mine would often give quite useless advice and instead of arguing with her, I politely thanked her but then ignored it. I don't share any of my personal thoughts with her and always make an effort to be presentable and positive when she comes over.

Sometimes it was worth it just to be 'in the system' for referrals e.g. for extra support, evidence or funding. I even had her help me write some support letters for my benefits and rehousing, which was probably worth putting up with the intrusion for alone.

[UrgentScurryfunge]

Now you're at this stage and all is going well, the routine contact is occasional checks on baby, so shouldn't be intrusive to your well-being.

I found the HV team useful in getting support for a speech delay and they were a pathway into SALT which managed to be effective in resolving issues prior to starting school. Hopefully you and baby shouldn't encounter similar types of issues, but being engaged with the HV team is useful for certain types of referral prior to compulsory education age.