To tell this shop owner I think her behaviour is unprofessional

[Dressily]

I am buying a few expensive items from a shop (expense relevant because I expect a certain level of service when buying expensive items). I went into the shop a few weeks ago and selected the items I want. These items aren't just for me so last week the other person involved went to see the items themselves. Once they confirmed that, yes, they agree with my selection all was good and I wanted to go ahead and make the order. There was some rush to this as the items have (for a limited time) been placed on sale. This was further complicated by the fact that I don't live in the UK so needed to pay for the items from overseas using a foreign bank account.

I found the woman I dealt with in the shop (the owner) extremely unprofessional for the following reasons:

• All email communications from her are extremely sloppy. She does not proof read so there are many spelling errors/typos. Whatever email program she uses is plain text so the emails look scruffy anyway, no footer image or contact details.
  

• She has hounded me to pay for these items, despite knowing that I was waiting for the other person to confirm. I get explain to me that the discount is for a limited time so please confirm ASAP but to keep emailing so often is a bit much
  

• I told her I would make a card payment over the phone expecting that she would ring the transaction through and then do a "cardholder not present" payment on the till. Nope, I called to give my details and her response was oo let me just get my pen. No! I don't want you writing down my card details! The connection was so bad that the call was terminated before I gave all the details.
  

• I asked for a load of details to do an international transfer (you need more info than for a regular transfer) but she only gave me the usual account no. and sort code. When I pointed this out and asked her to refer to my previous email she sent me some details saying "this is what you need for an international transfer" but obviously hadn't read my request because she didn't give me all the details I needed. This was followed up a couple of hours later with a "how's the payment coming" email.
  

• I really need/want these items, especially at the sale price, so I don't have much option but to buy from her
  

AIBU to email her letting her know that I find her behaviour very unprofessional and detailing why that's the case?

[Battleax]

I wouldn't call her names.

If you have a complaint about data control and unsatisfactory service, detail what it is that you're unhappy with.

[Dressily]

Do you think it's calling her names to say I find her emails/behaviour unprofessional?

[Battleax]

Well yes of course saying "YOU ARE x y z" is making critical remarks about her personally. Which is an attack and will get her back up.

Whereas saying "I have x y z concerns about THE SERVICE" is more neutral and more on point but still assertive and will garner a better response.

[Dafspunk]

Just buy somewhere else.

[Bluedoglead]

If you do that she might well tell you to sling your hook. She has no obligation to sell them to you.

[Dressily]

Yeah, if I was in a position to buy elsewhere I would, but I'm not. Maybe I'll save any criticism for after I have the items I want.

I see what you mean Battleax my criticism is of her behaviour, which I've found unprofessional. I think she herself is a perfectly nice and friendly woman.

[MrsMaisel]

You sound entitled and pushy. She isn’t obliged to sell to you. If you were rude to me in the same situation I would tell you to go elsewhere.

[Battleax]

Oh the transaction didn't even happen? (Sorry I didn't get to the end of the OP first time.)

Then you need to be even more conciliatory "I wonder if you can help. I'd like to purchase a,b and c as they're really quite beautifulbut have had some trouble and would prefer that my card details weren't written down...."

Better still, forget it and go elsewhere. Nothing should be such hard work.

[BeingATwatItsABingThing]

Wow.

She might not be able to do cardholder not present transactions straight away.

As for sloppy emails, not everyone is the best at typing/writing. Doesn’t mean they aren’t professional or a good salesperson. Also, in spite of your efforts, your post is not completely grammatically correct. Sorry.

OP, you sound like you feel you are better than her. That’s what came across from your post.

[Dressily]

Why do I sound entitled and pushy? Is it too much to expect a proof read email these days?

[Intelinside]

Don't bother. What's going to happen? She'll say you hung up on her blah blah blah and you'll get more wound up. Chalk it down to experience, leave an honest review on Google etc and then perhaps try to pay via PayPal. Or ask your friend to get them if she can go into the shop again and you can reimburse her?

[Dressily]

Beingatwat the difference being that my post is in an internet forum, not to a customer whose business I want to secure!

[Bluedoglead]

From her point of view, you’ve pissed her about for weeks and still not bought.

[BeingATwatItsABingThing]

Yes, but my point is, if she doesn’t know they are errors (common misspellings of words and incorrect use of homophones), no amount of proofreading will help.

[LolitaLempicka]

Why couldn’t you pay using the card as normal?

[Bluedoglead]

Transfer the money to the other person who can physically go to the shop and get them to go in and pay with their card.

[Battleax]

I see what you mean Battleax my criticism is of her behaviour, which I've found unprofessional.

I wouldn't say that either. Talk about transactions and policies, not people or their behaviour.

[Dressily]

It's not so much little errors like common misspellings or incorrect homophones I(I don't even know what that is) but typos like missing letters, hitting the wrong key so say my name was Emily she'd put Emiky just shows a lack of care.

[Bluedoglead]

It would harden you if you dicked about another week or two and the items were sold to someone else.

From her POV you don’t want them enough. If you did, you’d have bought already.

You sound like hard work.

[MrsMaisel]

Here I am - important overseas shopper. I want a discount, I want you to write pretty emails to me, I want you to wait until my friend makes her mind up. I want you to process the transaction as I order you to using an overseas account and process you are unfamiliar with.
I’m itching to tell you that you’re unprofessional and I want you to apologise and be grateful for my custom.
Still having trouble seeing it?

[Shadow666]

It all sounds really dodgy. You want her to reserve the items at sale price but aren’t sure if you actually want them or not so expect her to wait. She might have actual customers in the shop looking to buy the items and is stressed in case you back out. If she hasn’t had international payments before then she wont know how to do it.

I’m sure she’s trying her best.

[Intelinside]

Also, you do sound a bit entitled and pushy. If you give details on the phone, be aware you can't see people writing them down. Her saying 'let me get a pen ' indicates, positively, she wasn't trying to do it without you knowing.

Her grammar/spelling and email footers does not impact you in any way whatsoever and seems like you are looking for things to get annoyed about

You say she hounded you but not said what you consider to be hounding. Did she ask you once by email? Or call, email and text you daily despite you explaining what you were waiting for? You are being unreasonable about the email footer then I'm considering that it's possible you are being unreasonable about what 'hounding ' constitutes

It's a minor inconvenience to receive a reminder email after you've asked for details that haven't been forthcoming but really, to write an entitled moan piece of mumsnet and consider complaining is OTT

[BeingATwatItsABingThing]

Here I am - important overseas shopper. I want a discount, I want you to write pretty emails to me, I want you to wait until my friend makes her mind up. I want you to process the transaction as I order you to using an overseas account and process you are unfamiliar with.
I’m itching to tell you that you’re unprofessional and I want you to apologise and be grateful for my custom.
Still having trouble seeing it?

This! With bells on it.

[BeingATwatItsABingThing]

Wow. Bold fail.

[Bluedoglead]

It’s highly likely she’s answering emails from her phone.