To ask if you know what's wrong with me?

[racetothefinishingline]

Firstly- I have been to the GP already. I know that I have something going on emotionally but I can't work out what it is or why.

The GP started talking about anxiety and I dismissed it as I don't feel ready to talk about it. I'm not sure why- perhaps the stigma attached to mental health issues it's me off sharing how I'm feeling with people in RL?

My symptoms are...
constant nausea
Increased heart palpitations
Headaches
Disturbed vision
Trembling hands
Emotional
I could sleep forever
Loss of appetite
Loss of interest in pretty much anything really.
Everything just feels a bit numb- like I'm not me anymore.

My DP has noticed and I think he's mentioned it to his DM as she sat me down and asked if I thought I may be depressed. Luckily someone interrupted by walking in to the room we were in so I didn't have to say anything and she hasn't mentioned again since.

I have this fear of talking about it. I have 2 DC and worry that they will think I can't take care of them when I'm feeling like this. I can and they are absolutely fine but everything seems like such a chore at the moment. Even things like getting out of bed, getting dressed etc.

I feel like I struggle to get through each day and am not enjoying anything anymore. I know that I'm probably depressed and I need to get myself better but I don't know how. When I'm out and about I'm ok it's just getting myself up and out. I feel sick when I'm walking to work or going to do the food shop because I don't want to be doing it but I'm ok once I'm there. I have these dark moments when I'm by myself. I feel like I need some time off work to get myself better but would worry about going back once I've been off. I'm worried people will talk about me.

Any ideas what's going on with me? Any self help recommendations? Should I take some time off or will it make things worse when I have to go back? I don't know what to do for the best. I want to get better.

[JustVent]

Have they tested your thyroid?

[racetothefinishingline]

@JustVent Yes. They tested it a few months ago due to some other symptoms I was having but they came back clear. I'm booked in for some bloods next week as the GP wants to check my iron etc.

[Tinselistacky]

Def not a medical person but will tell you what the cause was when i had similar symptoms. .
I had bleach poisoning from using a lot of bleach in an enclosed space while working (Cleaner)

[racetothefinishingline]

@Tinselistacky Wow really? I don't use bleach (actually I haven't used any cleaning products for ages )

[Crispbutty]

I know I’m going to repeat what has been said on here before, but it’s correct. Depression is an illness, that medication can help. It’s a chemical imbalance in your body. There is no shame or embarrassment in seeking treatment if you had a physical illness like a broken leg, and there should be none with mental health either. Your DP and mum care and are worried about you and your GP sounds like they have an inkling what the issue is too. Go back and see them and talk. They can help.

[PompholyxOfUnknownOrigin]

I' m sorry you are feeling so ill. My first thought was to ask whether your doctor has done any tests to rule out a physical cause? Diabetes, anaemia, thyroid issues could all cause physical symptoms which in turn would lead to feelings of tiredness and depression.
If you're sure it really is a form of depression that is nothing to be ashamed of. If you don't feel that you can talk to your doctor about it would you consider taking to a counsellor for one or two sessions?

[Gilead]

Most importantly: if you are depressed nobody will will worry about your children. You are still taking care of them, despite depression and you have access to help.
Secondly, it does sound like depression although I note other possibilities regarding your symptoms are being checked. Go back, get the appropriate medication and maybe see if you can get a couple of weeks off work. The medication won't make you better but it will enable you to think clearly about what has depressed you and how to deal with it.
I hope you feel better soon.

[Northumberlandlass]

Apart from disturbed vision, they are the symptoms of my anxiety attacks.
I was also diagnosed with depression as a result of my spiralling anxiety.

My anxiety is about control and lack of it, the fear of the unknown and not guaranteed to be safe.

What did your GP say? In my area, we have a 'Talking ( insert county name )' and you can self refer for counselling. Which I found very useful, I also accepted medication from GP.

I felt 100% better just from asking for help (It was about me regaining control)

[slbhill42]

I have 2 DC and worry that they will think I can't take care of them when I'm feeling like this.

Go back to the GP. They can help you.
You say you are able to cope now but you're not happy, you're not doing well, you know that.

You're recognising that it's difficult - that's the first step. The second is to listen to the GP and take their advice if at all possible.

You say you're struggling to get yourself into work and other places but it's ok when you're there. Taking time off would get you into the habit of not going. You will probably feel worse unless you're also getting some other help - whether that's medication or therapy or whatever.

Please get help. Real help, not just well-meaning advice from strangers on the internet.

[racetothefinishingline]

I'm so ashamed and embarrassed to say that I'm finding things difficult at the moment. I feel like I'm losing myself in all of this (whatever 'this' is) and also find it hard to put into words how I'm feeling. I don't know if I'm depressed or anxious (or maybe depressed because I'm feeling anxious?!) I just can't bring myself to talk about it in RL.

[Bombardier25966]

What were the thyroid test results? Don't accept your GP telling you it is clear without checking the detail yourself.

Your symptoms could all be related to anxiety (including disturbed vision), but you shouldn't dismiss physical issues. It's easy for GPs to write off issues as mental health related without considering the interrelationship between physical and mental health.

[Bombardier25966]

If your symptoms are worse in the darker months I'd also be taking a Vitamin D supplement.

[totallyliterally]

Your list of symptoms basically describe mine exactly and after years of thinking I had content uti/flu/ undisagnoised stuff.

It is anxiety and the physical outlets of it.

I now take propranolol daily and that's helped a lot. But still have bad days.

[BiggapTwins]

Check for Vitamin B deficiency. Malabsorption through the stomach maybe the reason. Checking for Vitamin D as mentioned above is also good.

[Orlandointhewilderness]

my brother had many of these symptoms and eventually was diagnosed with Hashimotos. He ended up going private to get a diagnosis. keep trying - things like this can be so difficult to get sorted.

[Guardsman18]

Can I ask how old you are OP?

[PianoThirty]

Diabetes?

Sugar highs and lows would explain the emotional swings and the trembling hands. Cut back on sweets & sugary drinks (not easy at Christmas!) for a while and see if there’s any difference.

[racetothefinishingline]

@Guardsman18 I'm 32

[racetothefinishingline]

@totallyliterally I was prescribed that medication when I went to the GP last week to help with nausea and headaches. I've only taken 3 days so far.

[Eightbelles]

Cluster migraine perhaps.

Migraines can come with no pain at all. But they can cause all of the symptoms you describe.

[BulletFox]

I was going to say D3, I met someone who was misdiagnosed with depression it just turned out his D vitamin levels were low.

Go get tests done first and don't worry about any stigma, it's perfectly fine to say something's not right at present

[DianaPrincessOfThemyscira]

I have no experience but I think you’ve had some good advice on this thread.

I also think it’s worth remembering that antidepressants or anti anxiety medication simply corrects your brain to what ‘normal’ people experience. Any other chronic condition that required regular medication wouldn’t hold the same stigma.

Take care OP

[furlinedsheepskinjacket]

its anxiety - 100 pc

take the drugs prescribed and you will feel better :)

[Guardsman18]

When I read your post I could relate to those symptoms, but I was 40 at the time. (Maybe 41). Apparently I was having an early menopause (peri-menopause).

The leading up to it was horrendous. 32 is probably a bit young though.I just wanted to post as if there was any way I could prevent anyone going through what I did, then I would. Sorry and I only hope you can find out what it is x

[slothface]

It sounds like depression and anxiety to a T. I have both (diagnosed) and have all of those symptoms.

Nobody would think you aren't capable of caring for your children because of it. The doctor would be concerned about helping you access support and/or medication -your skills as a parent are very unlined to be scrutinised by a medical professional.

Mental health issues are an illness just like any physical one. Unfortunately yes there is still some stigma but this is vastly improving and there is nothing shameful about how you're feeling. A doctor will know that