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To not drive dd 20 miles out of my way to meet boyf today?

(56 Posts)
tactum Mon 11-Dec-17 07:45:15

My DM is seriously ill 120 miles away and I am having to go and stay with her this am - a bad enough journey in these conditions, which logically I probably shouldn't be doing and it will be an exhausting, stressful and very upsetting 2 day visit when I get there.

Dd is really cross with me as school is shut so she wants to spend the day with her new boyfriend who lives 20 miles in the opposite direction and I am refusing to drive her there, as it would add another hour to my journey and potentially put me in a ditch unable to get to my mum - public transport isn't running!

I don't think IABU at all and am shocked at how selfish she is being. What do you think?!

RJnomore1 Mon 11-Dec-17 07:47:25


How old is she?

Slartybartfast Mon 11-Dec-17 07:47:36

Can he come to her?
I think she is demanding too much.
can she come with you?

deepestdarkestperu Mon 11-Dec-17 07:47:54


She was probably hoping for a day at her boyfriends with no parents around though!

TeenTimesTwo Mon 11-Dec-17 07:47:56

If she is old enough to have a boyfriend she is probably old enough that she should get on with schoolwork on a snow closure day.
Set her some maths, science and English to do before you leave.

Slartybartfast Mon 11-Dec-17 07:48:12

and how will she get home?

tactum Mon 11-Dec-17 07:50:21

Dh would have to go and pick her up after work. She's 15. Couldn't come with me as school may be open tomorrow and I'm staying over. Thanks - will stick to my guns!!

NotSureThisIsWhatIWant Mon 11-Dec-17 07:53:31

It is essential for them to meet today? Absolutely not unless they were looking to an unsupervised time in each other houses.

Leave her at home, it is very entitled of her to expect you to do a 40 miles round trip to drop her even before you consider the weather and that you need to travel to visit your mum who is ill.

BrizzleDrizzle Mon 11-Dec-17 07:55:31

Yadnbu, she is though.

chocatoo Mon 11-Dec-17 07:56:37

Disappointed more than shocked by your daughter's self centred attitude, as I imagine you are. Have you really spelt it out to her how selfish her attitude is?
Why can't her boyfriend/his parents give a lift?
This is the second selfish teen post in as many days - is this the result of a generation of girls who the media encourages to think they are princesses?

Fairylea Mon 11-Dec-17 07:57:13

Who would be supervising them? My dd is the same age and I wouldn’t do it.

TanteRose Mon 11-Dec-17 08:01:14

just stick to your guns - keep saying no.

they can Skype if they want to chat.

timeisnotaline Mon 11-Dec-17 08:03:35

I wouldn't let her even if I was happy to make the drive.

tactum Mon 11-Dec-17 08:08:14

Boyfriend's mum doesn't work so would have been around all day and was going to take them sledging so wasn't really worried about them getting up to stuff alone!

Slartybartfast Mon 11-Dec-17 08:09:39

has she got friends nearby?

Rachie1973 Mon 11-Dec-17 08:09:42

I assume the school is shut due to the 'adverse weather conditions'?

If so then an 'unnecessary' journey. The schools are shut because it's considered dangerous to get there generally, so why would visiting a boyf, be any less dangerous.

She's being bratty.

NovemberWitch Mon 11-Dec-17 08:12:34

Your daughter has a warped sense of priorities, her grandmother is seriously ill and she’s putting her wants first. Tell her no, and that you are disappointed with her selfish attitude...without getting cross, but be very clear and don’t apologise for putting your mother first.
Safe journey!

therealposieparker Mon 11-Dec-17 08:14:04

I would be taking DD with me to help out. Jesus. What a selfish child you have raised. (TBH all of my kids would be ready to help out and they're 9,11,14 and 15)

extinctspecies Mon 11-Dec-17 08:15:38


16 yo DS was in a grump all day yesterday because I said I wasn't driving anywhere in the weather and he was 'so bored'.

And he's the same about seeing his girlfriend who is an hour away by bus but 30 minutes by car.

At this age they are cheeky & selfish and you just have to be firm & say No.

HermionesRightHook Mon 11-Dec-17 08:15:51

chocatoo teenagers have always been like this. They just don't understand the difficulties and are hard wired to be trying to move away from their parents at this age. Which often manifests itself as massive selfishness.

Also they will genuinely not understand how dangerous the roads are right now and how hard driving is in snow/ice.

extinctspecies Mon 11-Dec-17 08:18:17

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

NoSquirrels Mon 11-Dec-17 08:20:00

Just ignore! Of course you’re being sensible, of course she’s disappointed - but she shouldn’t be a brat about it.

Teens aren’t known for their unerring ability to always see the other person’s point of view!

extinctspecies Mon 11-Dec-17 08:22:03

Sorry, massive typo "unnecessary comment" not "necessary".

Wish there was an edit button!

OP, I'm on your side!!

ifonly4 Mon 11-Dec-17 08:25:38

She's 15 and there's still a tendency to think about themselves sometimes and I'm sure there are many others out there that would think like this. I totally understand why you don't want to do it though. Buses are running here, so I'd suggest she work out if there's somewhere midway they can meet.

Hope your journey goes okay and you can make the most of being with your DM/supporting her. x

Allthetuppences Mon 11-Dec-17 08:27:00

She's being ridiculous. She probably knows this but hormones run rife at that age. Can they both catch a bus and meet somewhere? Stick with no and let her stretch herself with working out travel!

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