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AIBU or do my ‘friends’ take the p*ss

(45 Posts)
Jesi98 Mon 30-Oct-17 21:31:32

Friends asked to visit us recently - no problem with that, good to have company. Friends aren’t financially stable - lots of debt, not good with money, few kids etc. Known for months they were coming to visit. Advised the day before the visit they were skint, not yet been paid etc I told them not to worry we’d do lots of free things with the kids, walks, etc so didn’t need a lot of money.
Now I’m happy to give anyone anything, what I begrudge is going out of my way to feed a family of 5, plus my own 5 for several days only for them to buy and drink several bottles of vodka, about 25 beers for themselves for the weekend and not even buy a pint of milk as a contribution? Yet happy to tell their kids to help themselves to our food cupboards, biscuits, crisps, fruit, drinks as and when they wanted it. I feel sorry for the kids as they don’t have many treats in their house like ours but still. AIBU?- I know it’s a bit petty but it makes me think I being taken the piss out of? Oh and they tell me when they are next coming to visit, not ask if it’s ok?!

Mumof56 Mon 30-Oct-17 21:33:08

Is it a hotel you're running?

I never charge my guests. I invite them to host them, that includes food.

Appuskidu Mon 30-Oct-17 21:34:04

Err, say no!

MyBrilliantDisguise Mon 30-Oct-17 21:34:19

Of course they were taking the piss! How did you not say something when they were buying vodka?

AtrociousCircumstance Mon 30-Oct-17 21:34:36

They’re freeloaders. Once you turn the tap off (and you will if you have any sense) they will readily find another sucker.

We never want to believe that people we like don’t have our best interests at heart, or share our idea of what friendship means, but most of the time that’s the case unfortunately.

*disclaimer - some people are awesome and true friendship exists, it’s just rarer than any of us would wish.

MyBrilliantDisguise Mon 30-Oct-17 21:35:38

Mumof56 They invited themselves!

Lukeandlorelai4Ever Mon 30-Oct-17 21:36:08

What did you expect them to pay for?

Mumof56 Mon 30-Oct-17 21:37:43

They invited themselves!

Next time then "no, it doesn't suit" if they are not close friends.

LondonGirl83 Mon 30-Oct-17 21:38:36

Did they buy their own booze? If they did, I don't think its that out of order. I never expect my house guests to buy their own food. If they bring me a bottle of wine as a gesture (and I'm assuming you drank some of the alcohol) then that's more than enough. If you can't afford to host someone then say no or make it clear they should buy their own food.

RunRabbitRunRabbit Mon 30-Oct-17 21:38:43

When they go out to buy the vodka and beers ask them to get milk and a takeaway for everyone.

My biggest concern would not be the money but having two alcoholics staying for a week. Several bottles of vodka and loads of beers over 5 days?

Do they even get out of bed to look after their children or are they too hungover?

Everyone who ever stays with us always offers to buy us dinner one night and nobody arrives empty handed.

Why don't you say no it's not convenient next time they announce a visit? Or tell them you've gone teetotal and won't allow drink in the house.

Willow2017 Mon 30-Oct-17 21:45:03

Luke
Probably more than a shed load of drink for themselves while eating ops food, using her electric etc etc.
There are 5 of them and they told thier kids to help themselves while not offering to contribute at all.
They invited themselves!

Op i would be pissed off too. They are obviously not that skint if they can afford that much booze.
Take them when you go for a food shop and ask them what they are contributing to the mealtimes as they obviously got thier money through judging by the amount of booze they bought. If they refuse tell them to sod off.

I would be telling them a time limit for the stay and saying No next time they try it on.

BMW6 Mon 30-Oct-17 21:53:35

Freeloaders OP. If they ask to come again you are too busy. Rinse and repeat.

Jesi98 Mon 30-Oct-17 21:58:00

I wouldn’t ever expect them to pay for food, they are my guests but they specifically said they were skint and had no money. I don’t drink alcohol (can’t deal with hangovers and kids!) but they would sit all evening, go through 5/6 beers each and then bottle of Voddy. Continue to say they were skint, then go to the supermarket the next day and buy the next lot of alcohol and fags for the next evening but expect me to buy dinner for everyone. I’m not a charity - free to stay at my house but I wouldn’t expect to be fed for nothing if I were visiting family let alone friends.

Sunshineface123 Mon 30-Oct-17 22:00:06

Why are you friends with them? They sound like they’ve taken you for a bit of a ride. Don’t have them back.

Xmasbaby11 Mon 30-Oct-17 22:02:20

I'd happily provide food for the family for the weekend, as that's normal to me as a host. I would not be friends with people who drank that quantity of alcohol, however, that's just irresponsible.

lurkingnotlurking Mon 30-Oct-17 22:02:36

Yeah... I think you know yanbu. I'd invent an 'emergency' to get rid of them the next day...

dunraven Mon 30-Oct-17 22:03:56

You live and learn. You won't be hosting them again - it's an easy No!

MyKingdomForBrie Mon 30-Oct-17 22:04:43

Well I would always expect to feed guests and would not ask for any kind of ‘contribution’ but the amount of alcohol does sound quite excessive!

Appuskidu Mon 30-Oct-17 22:08:39

Oh and they tell me when they are next coming to visit, not ask if it’s ok?!

But your response to this outlines your boundaries and shows whether you will allow yourself to be treated like dirt.

What did you say?

KarmaStar Mon 30-Oct-17 22:13:35

The alcohol consumption seems an awful lot,do you think they worked out that they could not afford to buy all that alcohol AND feed their children so decided you could feed them and that left money for themselves?
I read that you feel sorry for the children as they don't have many treats,is there a chance the adults are drinking heavily all the time and the little ones are in someway at risk?
Yes,I'd say they are taking advantage of you and if you wanted them back,you would do well to lay down your house rules and tell them what you are personally comfortable with.
Good Luck x

Gemini69 Mon 30-Oct-17 22:15:37

don't let there be a Next Time... goodbye freeloaders flowers

Jesi98 Mon 30-Oct-17 22:22:49

When told they’d be back I sort of laughed it off and said I had to fit in all of the other people that want to stay ie family
I feel petty even mentioning but I think th shear amount of alcohol purchases riled me. They basically knew I’d wait on them hand foot and finger regardless. That’s just what I’m like. I’m going to make an excuse for the next time they try to invite themselves.

expatinscotland Mon 30-Oct-17 22:37:21

Stop being a mug! NO more visits.

'Oh and they tell me when they are next coming to visit, not ask if it’s ok?!'

So get back to them! 'I've had a look at the dates and that doesn't work for us. I'll let you know if we're ever free. Cheerio!'

YANBU

AngryBurds Mon 30-Oct-17 22:37:35

They smoke FAGS?? Wow OP, they must be minted! Height of luxury, that.

Ceto Mon 30-Oct-17 22:55:07

Do they drink that much regularly? Are the fit to look after the kids?

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