To ask you to put yourself in this situation and tell me how you would genuinely react?

[ProverbialOuthouse]

You start a new hobby. Let's call it karate.

First couple of times it's fine but then instructor starts saying he's really glad you've joined his club and he can see the two of you becoming good friends. He goes on to ask if you can keep secrets but does not tell you any, just says it's good if you can keep secrets. Over the weeks he goes on to say stuff like "I feel we have a great connection, I see you as more than a student, more like a close friend" and "remember when I asked about secrets? Does it still stand?" Etc etc!!!! Creeping me out now. He's a wrong 'un isn't he?

[TeaStory]

Ew, creepy as fuck.

[coffeekittens]

Yeah he is. Is there any sort of governing body/manager you could report him to?

[MollyHuaCha]

Sounds like a weirdo. If he's making you feel uneasy maybe it's time to find a new hobby.

[Redhead17]

Very creepy.

He sounds like he's grooming you

[Subtlecheese]

I'd move on.

[Rufustherenegadereindeer1]

Creepy

[ThaliaLuxurySpa]

Beyond weird.

The "are you good at keeping secrets" stuff particularly raises alarm bells. Does this man teach children as well, would you know?

[BrowsOnFleek]

Definitely a wrongen. Leave now whilst you can!

[ProverbialOuthouse]

He's married but went to Thailand with a friend (male). He then came back saying stuff like "Thailand is a crazy place, you can get anything you want over there, and I mean ANYTHING". I responded with "yes I've been, it's a lovely place, great food, great people, did you watch any martial arts whilst you were there?" And he replied "no but I got upto plenty of other stuff 😉 But you know what they say, what happens in Thailand stays in Thailand 😉 " eww ... I wanted to tell him that if he's shagged a young girl out there, chances are it was actually a young boy but I didn't.

[Elenasparkles]

Sounds very dodgy and extremely unprofessional. I would consider changing to a different run group to pursue the activity and maybe think about reporting him to any governing body or owners of the building the activity takes place in.

[Violetparis]

Creepy and unacceptable, I would leave and go somewhere else. Would complain too if there was the option, he may have form for this type of behaviour.

[Justmuddlingalong]

I see you as more than a student, more like a close friend"
Well I don't. You are an instructor and I'm a student, do you have a problem with keeping to boundaries? If you do, then this class isn't for me.

[IfyouseeRitaMoreno]

Run a fucking mile!

[Whocansay]

I would reply 'no, I'm a terrible gossip'. Loudly.

He sounds creepy as fuck. To be honest I would just stop going and find another class.

[TurnipCake]

Holy crossing of professional and personal boundaries, Batman!

And his comments re: Thailand, I lived in Bangkok and saw his type all the time. Gross.

[EezerGoode]

How old are you sweetie? You need to tell an adult..not a nice man

[ThaliaLuxurySpa]

OP,

Am confused now: you said

"He goes on to ask if you can keep secrets but does not tell you any, just says it's good if you can keep secrets."

but then he must've told you the Thailand stuff, so he did confide "secrets"...

[ThymeLord]

Totally creepy. He's sounding you out for an affair.

[ProverbialOuthouse]

He does teach kids yes. He Said cRB checked etc but still - once whilst doing partner work with a 15 year old girl he came over to me and demonstrated something. I have very weak joints and my wrist popped out of place (happens all the time!) so I casually popped it back in and he loudly whispered "Christ you'd be no fun in the errr ... in private would you with your bones popping out like that". The young girl was stood right next to him!!! She pretended she didn't hear but I know she did.

He also teaches a young boy called Leroy who happens to be black. He routinely gets his name wrong and says he can't pronounce it!!! How could you not pronounce Leroy? It's a simple word! The cynic in me wonders if he'd have so much trouble if the kid was white (it's a very white area, not many Ethnic minorities). He also once said "I like my women like I like my coffee" he then whispered to me "strong and white" 😲 I'm not going to continue going for obvious reasons but I'm in shock that someone could be so openly "wrong" with such an established club and reputation!!

[Tanfastic]

Sounds like a complete weirdo. I'd not be going back op, that would seriously creep me out.

[ProverbialOuthouse]

The Thailand thing came after the secrets thing. That was the last time I spoke to him.

[Ineedmorelemonpledge]

Is his name Rex? 😂😂😂

[TurnipCake]

I wouldn't leave this man with a fucking cactus, let alone around children.

[Justmuddlingalong]

I would image as an instructor he is a member of some kind of professional body? He needs reported.

[Trills]

I would hope that I would write down all of the things he had said and find someone to give the list to, and say as strongly as I could that I thought he was creepy and inappropriate.

There's a strong possibility that I'd just quit and make sure I never saw him again.