No toys allowed!

[ShoutyMcShouty]

We regularly visit a well known garden that is very beautiful. Many of the visitors are elderly but it is also very popular with families, especially those with young children. In recent visits, they've become super strict on what is allowed to be brought in to the garden. I completely accept the no bike or scooter rule, they've added no balls rule soon after, which is also fair enough. However, in the past where people had balls, they tended to be little play balls for toddlers and in my experience, these were only ever used on the common area. No one had a vigorous football game and would not interfere with people enjoying other parts of the garden. It got ridiculous when my baby had in his hands a small ball pool ball, we were asked to leave that at the ticket booth as balls were not allowed . Another occasion we bought a kite from their own shop, excited to try it out on the common but were told it was not allowed. Again, I can see their point but why sell it in the shop? This time we brought a foam sword and a foam shield. The lady at the ticket booth panicked and said that my ds could hurt someone with it if he waved it around, so again have been asked to leave them at the ticket booth. Prying those out of my ds' hands was fun . She said "toys are not allowed". It would seem fun is not allowed either.
Generally, the people who visit seem to be very respectful and civilised, the garden(s) is really big and people tend to do any activities on the common. It is well away from the flowers. Lots of people have picnics on the common and it's at this time when the children will want to play.

Aibu to think this is a shame as if all we are allowed to do is to walk around then I probably won't bother to renew my membership again next year?

[Biffsboys]

YANBU - if they sell these things in the shop you should be allowed to take them with you ? I understand the no balls allowed if your going to have kids treating it like Wembley stadium ?

[Waffles80]

Is this Kew Gardens?

[RadioGaGoo]

Also sounds like Wisley

[gamerwidow]

I think it's fair enough to have a no toys rule so that people can enjoy the gardens in peace. There are plenty of other areas where kids can play it's nice to have an oasis of calm.
It is stupid though to sell toys on site that you can't play with.

[Gizlotsmum]

Just go somewhere else?

[Voiceforreason]

The trouble is that due to health and safety laws and public liability insurances, these places are expected to reduce risk of possible accidents, and injuries to a frankly ludicrous degree. Hard to envisage how any young child could possibly hurt either themselves or members of the public with the harmless toys you describe.

This is seen in schools now where children can't play chase type games incase they should result in injury. We have become a society where we demand to be safeguarded from any risk no matter how slight and insignificant. Where people seek compensation for the most ridiculous reasons. I am afraid this is the very sad result.

[ffffffsake]

Sounds like Hampton Court (Leominster one) - it's so annoying so YANBU

[Oblomov17]

I suppose that I don't want kids running around playing games if I've decided I wanted to go to such a place and stroll and look at the flowers.

Take him to a park, or Bushy Park or Virginia water lake, or somewhere he can play freely?

[Cailleach666]

Sorry but I am in agreement with them.

The toys you mention all have the possiblility of being anti- social.

Toy weapons? It's easier to have a blanket ban otherwise you would have to start nit picking about hard plastic vs soft plastic etc.
No one wants kites in a Botanical Garden.
Ditto with balls.

There are plenty of other open spaces where kids can play with these things.

[hiccupgirl]

YANBU if they sell toys in the shop, there should be an area you can use them in - it sounds like there's plenty of suitable space on the common. But it doesn't sound like they're keen to welcome kids tbh.

I have membership of the RHS and go regularly to one of their gardens. They have a designated area for picnics and games (it's a great area for kids) away from the main formal gardens. They are also very keen to be a family friendly destination so it's not unreasonable to expect things for kids to do.

[ShoutyMcShouty]

Wow it sounds like this is the norm for many places. Yes it is wisley and I'm sure when I first joined, you were at least allowed a ball.

@Gizlotsmum I guess what I am saying is I will have to go somewhere else and if they lost membership/ revenue from more families like ours for similar reason, that would be a shame. And honestly, people stick to the larger green spaces to play and absolutely do not affect people's walks and views of flowers. I've never met anyone who looked remotely annoyed. And on many occasions, playing with toys/ balls are when my son makes friends with other children by sharing them. I also get to chat with the parents. It's so friendly there!

@Voiceforreason H&S has gone mad, I don't think javelins are allowed anymore in school! They have to throw these foam rocket things. How will we encourage the next generation of athletes this way?

It motivated me to post just because of the lady's overreaction to a foam sword! She acted like ds was brandishing real weapons. The things were more like sponges!

[Miserylovescompany2]

Maybe do the shop at the end of the visit?

[Tanith]

It's a Gardens, not a park. That means they have armies of gardeners making the place look beautiful for all their visitors and they don't want kids charging round on toys, crashing through their displays with balls etc.
Some of those plants are rare specimens or delicate.

I imagine that, as usual, some have taken the proverbial and the Gardens have had to introduce strict rules. It's their Gardens and you abide by their rules if you want to visit.

I've seen a parent arguing with a gardener who advised her not to let her children play with the water displays: "What possible harm can it do?"
The harm is that, in order to get it looking so beautiful, it's chock-full of chemicals. It can also upset the balance for the plants living in it. It's not designed to be played with. It's designed to be looked at.

Why does your child need toys to enjoy the Gardens? You buy them at the end of your visit and you take them home to play with, like generations of parents before you. If you can't do this, then you need to find another day out for your child.

[Tanith]

Ah - you are talking about Wisley; so am I.

[Waffles80]

Wisely is a garden, not a park.

[Gizlotsmum]

@shoutymcshouty it does seem a shame ( and very short sighted those children are future adult visitors) but they have the right to enforce their rules on their property.

[SilverBirchTree]

Why did you keep buying/bringing toys after the first time?

[ShoutyMcShouty]

@Miserylovescompany2 yes I usually do and probably try to avoid it altogether! On the kite occasion, it was a windy day and I remembered seeing one in there last time, was very excited to have had this brain wave, so bought one before going in this time! I don't know if you've ever promised something to a toddler and really bigged it up then have to tell them they can't do it! No signs saying no kites at that point.

[strawberrisc]

I wish balls could be banned from ALL public areas. They're a PITA at the beach. Gormless, overgrown men always get too excitable and boot them at people trying to sunbathe or eat.

[ChardonnaysPrettySister]

YABU.

Kites are annoying. What if it gets tangled up in a valuable tree?

[ShoutyMcShouty]

Yes I agree everyone, wisley is a garden and not a park so I will stick to their rules or somewhere else. We are very respectful of the plants and think the wisley gardeners do an amazing job. I know a ball could bounce on to the plants and wouldn't want that. I just missed all the magical moments when our little ball rolled towards another child and they all start playing together.

[Crumbs1]

If places want to impose bans to protect the comfort of others or the exhibits then they should perhaps also have a play area. Either somewhere that kites or foam swords are allowed or with static playground equipment. If they don't accommodate the needs of families they will lose customers and funding will decrease. Many have public money through grants so should be accessible to all - including toddlers. Plenty of places manage it.

[Ceto]

I suspect that one of those problems with those toys is that if children get over-excited playing with them they stop looking where they're going and may well run over flower-beds.

[Boulshired]

I have been to many a garden like this to see large families plonk the self down, spread out and not move. They seem to believe that the entrance fee resolves them of all parental responsibilities for their kids to do as they want. It's generally them why these rules are created. Lots of places sell toys for play not on their premises. Usually the gift shop as you leave.