DH still not home after night out

[DeepBreathsCountToTen]

DH went to a friends house for drinks last night after work, all fine.

DS wakes up in the night and needs resettling, and I see a text from DH at 4am saying he's sleeping over. Fine.

I'm up at 6.30am with DS and wait until 8am to try and call DH. No answer. I get a text at 8.30am to say he's feeling rough, he's actually at a different friends house and is going to stay there for a bit to recover.

He's still not back, no contact either and I am ready for a break. We've walked the dog, been to the playground, DS happy and fed. Now I'd like to do something with my weekend too!

Would it be unreasonable to be annoyed with DH?

[Needsomeflapjacks]

What is it with dh's and drinking /sleeping out and disappearing on here lately??
Carry on with your plans and enjoy the peace. . Him hungover is going to be no positive addition to your week end. .

[DeepBreathsCountToTen]

I suspect he hasn't stopped long enough to feel the hangover :/

I tried to persuade DS that we should go out for lunch, but he's having none of it. I'll keep working on him! 3 going on 30.

[SpartacusSaiman]

I woild be majorly pissed off with dh. If he pre arranged to be gone all day, today. Fair enough.

I certainly wouldnt be planning today around when he deems to turn up. I dint expect constant contact when dh is out. But i expect him to let me know his plans.

[DeepBreathsCountToTen]

It's not out of character to be out until the early hours (although this is less frequent since DS), but it is out of character to not come home to sleep it off, and to still be out by lunchtime the next day.

Would it be unreasonable for me to ask him what effing time he's planning on showing his face?

[Sparklepants]

I'd just get on with my day. Take your DS somewhere fun. What's the point of staying in and winding yourself up?

[Seenoevil]

Just send him a text and ask what time is he going to bother coming back

[Crunchymum]

These threads are like buses

OP, no you are not being unreasonable to be annoyed, you are being unreasonable to put up with this shit

[Notreallyarsed]

YANBU to be pissed off, but I'd just take your DS and go out for the day.

[MondieBee]

Surprised by the lack of anger on here so far. Damn right you're not being unreasonable. It's a selfish and shitty thing to do. That he could go out at all is because you're willing to looking after your children longer and do the evening on your own etc. It's out of order to then stay out until morning or to be too hungover to help out the next day, let alone stay out all fucking night until gone lunchtime and not make contact. It baffles me how many men do this (including several friends OHs) and that it's put up with.

I agree though that you should try and have a nice day as even when he's back he's clearly not going to contribute to making it positive. I'd probably go to the beach or some other all day activity and get a takeaway on the way home so I didn't have to cook or anything.

If my OH goes out, even if he's back really late he'll be up with the kids first thing, just as I would if I wasn't always too tired to bother going out if it was in reverse

[ImperialBlether]

What I want to know is who are these men with?

[Notreallyarsed]

It's not that I wouldn't be angry Mondie, I just wouldn't waste time or energy on someone who couldn't behave like a grown up. Life is too bloody short for women to be putting up with the shit we see on here day in day out (I'm not referring to abuse, that's completely different), the low level disrespect and lack of teamwork from husbands and partners.

[JustMumNowNotMe]

I'd be fuming, I've no problem with DH staying out but not coming home in the morning to do his fair share of the childcare is absolutely not on!

[troodiedoo]

Yanbu. But you are if you think today is going to be anything other than a write off, dh wise. Quit while you're behind.

[Parker231]

Definitely don't wait at home and waste your day. Go out and enjoy yourself. Ignore him - he can't be bothered to come home and spend time with his family.

[ScruffyLookingNerfHerder]

By these measures my XDP (female) was unreasonable on a weekly basis.

YABU - he's sleeping one off, and in a mutually-reasonable relationship either partner would be able to have a Friday night out and a light day following it.

You'd expect the same yourself.

[timis]

Troodiedoo, who's that?

[Wheelerdeeler]

Why do married fathers think it's ok to go out, stay overnight and take an age to get home?

Dh has plenty of nights out as do I, but we come home. To our house. Where we live. Why the need to act all teenager ish and stay elsewhere?

[Whisky2014]

I think since he txt at 8.30 to say he will stay there a bit then you are being slightly unreasonable. I'd expect him to have fallen asleep, then a bug brekkie to be made and a chat about the night before. Plus getting he energy to get himself home. Prob be nearer 5!

[Ceto]

Tell him he's on sole parent duty tomorrow.

[Hisnamesblaine]

Not unreasonable at all to ask when he plans to show his effing face!

[fluffiphlox]

There's one of these practically every Saturday. They usually turn up.

[troodiedoo]

timis it's brenda from Bristol. She became a bit of an Internet hit after another general election was announced. She says "another one?! I can't stand this" in a strong bristol accent.

I like to to say it whenever anything happens too frequently. Mostly at nappy changes. But drunk husband threads work well too.

[NC4now]

Depends on context.
DH and I were going through a shitty time recently, the kids were at their dad's, I went out with my friend, got totally leathered and fell asleep on her couch. It was fine and a one off.
A weekly thing dumping responsibilities on your OH is not OK.
Make some nice plans for yourself tomorrow OP.