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AIBU to explain as parents with chronic illness fo about "chicken pox"

(52 Posts)
Lonelymummyof1 Tue 30-May-17 16:24:12

Following the chicken pox thread it seemed to include alot of eye rolling when people mention having a weak immune system or similar like were asking way to much for people to keep their otherwise healthy children "locked up" for 5 days instead of having to lock ours away for life.
The one question always appears
What do you regarding most infectious illness's being contagious before being apparents ? "

We can not stop everything, we can not protect them from every viral/ infection out there which is sadly something we fear every single day of our lives.
My DD 3 has fought sepsis 6 times leaving at times critical to the point I held her lifeless in my arms and thought it was defintly the time I was going to have to say good bye.
Every spiked fever brings the ulitimate fear and straight to hospital for treatment.
We can not prevent things we do not know are around, we can not look them up in 4 walls forever.
We know that some illness is going to be un noticable.
However we lower the risks when we can and we appreciate when the public also help.
So do not question or eye roll as by asking for isolation for 5 days is nothing to locking one up for months and months on ene which at times is unfortuntly reality.
They have constant blood work and if their neutrophils are below a certain point you can not take them anywhere.
To enjoy the park, cinema ...we have never ever made a bonfire night , trick or treating and managed one trip to the beach in 3 years.
It is hard but worth it.

MrsTerryPratchett Tue 30-May-17 16:27:17

Basically you think that people should keep their chicken pox infected children in the house? You're right.

Radishal Tue 30-May-17 16:27:42

Best wishes to you and your family. Immunocompromised here too. It's tough being brave sometimes.

Lonelymummyof1 Tue 30-May-17 16:27:50


Lonelymummyof1 Tue 30-May-17 16:29:07

I was answering the question that basically meant well their contagious before the spots come out so what do you do in that circumstance.
Its impossible but thats the sad reality

NotAnotherUserName5 Tue 30-May-17 16:30:18

Yanbu in the slightest. flowers

peaceloveandbiscuits Tue 30-May-17 16:33:08

My child isn't immuno-compromised, but I still don't want him to catch chicken pox or any other illness unnecessarily. I am livid when I hear of people bringing their children out when they're still contagious, so I imagine you must be apoplectic!

peaceloveandbiscuits Tue 30-May-17 16:34:36

I get fed the phrase, "its better to get it over and done with". Actually, I think it's better for my family not to catch it at all. Not everything is avoidable, but I do my best to avoid making my child unwell and miserable.

FloatyCat Tue 30-May-17 16:35:06

Some people are inherently selfish OP and won't inconvenience themselves for 5 mins (and would rather risk someone else's health).

Wolfiefan Tue 30-May-17 16:39:08

My son spent a few weeks on what is basically a chemo drug. We were told CP could kill him. He caught it. Terrifying.
We can't avoid every cough and sniffle. Of course CP is contagious before the spots erupt. BUT people are being selfish arseholes if they take their obviously contagious child out around other people.
CP. stay away from people. Send someone else to the supermarket or internet shop.
Diarrhoea and sickness. FFS don't send your child to school or nursery.
Rant over.

BridgetvonHammersmark Tue 30-May-17 16:40:30

Yanbu. I don't think it's unreasonable to expect anyone with an infectious illness to stay away from others until they're not contagious, surely it's the responsible thing to do? A friend of mine caught chickenpox when she was pregnant and it led to her son being born very poorly, he died at 18 months old sad

LuchiMangsho Tue 30-May-17 16:50:19

I agree. My 26 weeker is relatively healthy. But I really on other people's good sense especially in the winter.

NeverTwerkNaked Tue 30-May-17 16:50:45

My daughter caught chicken pox as a 3 month old baby and she was desperately ill.
It's no huge hardship to keep a child at home for a few days until they are no longer contagious

artycakemaker Tue 30-May-17 16:51:33


Perfectly1mperfect Tue 30-May-17 16:52:06

People who take kids out and about when they have things like chicken pox are just selfish bastards.

You can try to educate them but I think that they just have that mentality that they just don't think of anyone but themselves.

I am quite outspoken to other parents about it as it really annoys me for children like your daughter who they put at serious risk. My kids are both healthy but I still don't think it's ok when parents tell me in the playground that their child has been sick in the night but they are still sending them to school because they have an important day at work/shopping or other task that pales into insignificance when their child looks green and is currently hugging my child and I see my future clearing up sick ! I can only imagine how angry it makes you.

I hope your daughter is well. xx

splendide Tue 30-May-17 16:55:03

YANBU but really what's needed (for general population) is vaccination.

Dairymilkmuncher Tue 30-May-17 17:00:56

Is CP, slap cheek and hand foot and mouth contagious once the spots/rash have come out? I thought by the time you knew they had it it wasn't catching anymore? confused

I always keep my kids inside when they have fever/sickness bugs I really don't understand why you would drag them about when they are so ill....of course YANBU

MrsTerryPratchett Tue 30-May-17 17:09:01

The varicella vaccine isn't very effective. DD had it and still got CP.

Suntrapped Tue 30-May-17 17:21:25

I assume you're referring to my thread.

I appreciate it must be very difficult for you, and of course people should keep their infectious children away from public places as much as possible.

However, sometimes going out is unavoidable. When DD's spots started at nursery I had to take her home on the bus (my car's in the garage). My DH is away so we had to go into the supermarket to buy food, then the pharmacy for Piriton and Calpol. There's nobody nearby who can get these things for us.

Today we went to the beach (a short walk) and I let her out of the buggy for a bit. We passed a few dog walkers but didn't come within metres of anyone. I'm unsure how this could put anyone at risk?

I think it's wrong to assume everyone out with a spotty child is selfish. They might be a single mum or have a partner working away. They might be on their way to the doctors (chickenpox can cause complications and few GPs offer home visits nowadays). They might need to buy food, or pick up siblings from school/nursery.

Sprinklestar Tue 30-May-17 17:27:30

I disagree. Going out is avoidable. Get meds delivered or ask a friend/neighbour. Get a taxi or Uber rather than potentially infecting a whole bus load of people. Ah well, maybe you'll be ill one day and need others to help you.

Yanbu, OP. Having worked in a school, the selfishness of parents with ill children never ceases to amaze me.

NeverTwerkNaked Tue 30-May-17 17:30:30

You did have other choices suntrapped - taxi home. Internet shop for food. If you call dr and explain it is chicken pox they can either deal with by phone or set aside a private room for you to wait in.

littlehandcuffs Tue 30-May-17 17:31:41

I have a daughter who is immune suppressed, just one thoughtless person taking their child out could mean weeks in hospital for my child. Please think twice before you "just nip out".

peaceloveandbiscuits Tue 30-May-17 17:32:21

Dairymilk yes CP and HFM are still very infectious with spots. No experience with CP yet, but HFM is transferred via bodily fluids. The spots, which can burst, contain highly infectious fluid. Picture a child with burst spots on their fingers, touching toys and play equipment, then another child touching them, putting their hands in their mouths or up their noses. Job done.

Lonelymummyof1 Tue 30-May-17 17:34:57

Bus , supermarket are hugely risky.
I was a single mum for 2 years and everytime she had to be isolated due to low white blood counts.
I could not leave the house with her sometimes for weeks and weeks so I know how hard it is.

Lonelymummyof1 Tue 30-May-17 17:37:14

If you had got on a bus with your child for instance and mine was on that bus and ended up with chicken pox would be ICU in critical condition

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