My DH and I are happily married and have been for 14 years and have 4 wonderful children, this isn't going to be a custody thing...but it is a long story, apologies in advance!
So this afternoon I got a text from beloved child minder saying 'I've worked out my numbers and the girls can start Monday, I'll just adjust your monthly bill' I replied asking if she had sent this to the correct person and she informs me yes, following on from convo with DH.
We have four children, daughters aged 14, 12 and 7 and a son just turned 4. The youngest two have a lovely child minder who collects them from school/nursery and keeps them until I finish work and collect them at around 5.15pm, we then drive to the secondary school where DD's 1 and 2 are. They don't finish school until 4pm, and then they're in an after school activity every night until 5pm - their school then has open places where they can mooch about, supervised in the library, computer suites or fitness suite until 6.30pm if they want to, but I'm usually there by 5.30pm.
Apparently last week the girls have started moaning they don't think that's fair and that they should get to leave school whenever they want and moaned to DH (who can be spineless) and he said he would sort this out. This contacted the child minder and asked if the girls could attend there every day after school.
I'm not annoyed at the concept of the girls going to CM, although it will add significantly to costs which DH clearly hasn't thought of, I'm more annoyed that he went behind my back and discussed this with her and made a decision without even factoring that in. Plus the girls would have to walk or get the bus there each night which is a) more money and b)takes much longer than the time they'd be waiting for me after clubs - I'd probably be waiting around at the CMs for them to arrive - and paying for the privilege!!
Ive probably unwisely blown my stack and we've argued about it, however I don't think I'm being unfair here...he says why should I be the only one to make decisions, why doesn't he have the right - and he does and had he asked me we could have discussed it but he hasn't really bothered about childcare arrangements for 14 years and the first time he's tried he's balls it up big time. I'm absolutely fuming!!!
Am I being unreasonable about this!!!
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AIBU?
DH changing child care behind my back. AIBU?!
35 replies
JessKM · 11/05/2017 23:32
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