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To not go to this job interview when I'm so incredibly weary and depressed

(41 Posts)
user1493797837 Wed 03-May-17 23:50:50

I have been looking for a job in my field for just over a year. I've had 26 interviews and been rejected each time. 26 rejections!!!!!

I have two more job interviews next week. One on Tuesday and one on Wednesday.

I have watched all my friends walk into jobs when they're not any better than me. I've had the most tragic and horrific life so far and I've finally qualified in my field and now yet another hurdle.

The only way I can describe myself is angry,frustrated but more than anything else, weary. So so weary of it all.

I honestly can't see how I can even go to these next two job interviews. I have the skills and experience but I just cannot seem to get the job. I do well but not well enough. I'm newly qualified and the jobs go to people already in a qualified role.

I feel I need to take a step back. The depression is destroying me now. I'm so so weary, tired and depressed from the job hunt and I actually worry that another rejection will simply tip me
Over the edge. I'm suicidal.

The happy, positive and confident woman had gone. I don't even know who I am anymore. I do not recognise myself. I don't think I'd even have it in me to do a good interview. I can barely smile never mind perform in such a stressful situation like a job interview where I've got to formulate answers and be fully alert. I just don't have it in me anymore. I can't do this anymore.
AIBU to not go to these interviews and instead, take a break from job hunting and get some mental health support?

PamplemousseRouge Wed 03-May-17 23:59:08

OP I'm so sorry to hear that you feel this way flowers

Of course you wouldn't be unreasonable to ask for mental health support. Have you spoken to your GP at all about how you're feeling?

This may depend on where you're currently living (not sure if you're based in the U.K. or abroad?) but your local mental health support services might also have careers support available.

I was referred by my GP to a counsellor last year, and was able to access career support (through the NHS, so completely free) because of this. I'm still using the counselling and careers support services, and both services have been absolutely brilliant. If counselling or careers support through the NHS is available in your area, I would hugely recommend it if you feel that it might be helpful to you.

Good luck flowers

Blondie1984 Thu 04-May-17 00:15:50

It sounds like you are in a really tough position and I'm not surprised you are feeling low - and agree that cancelling your upcoming interviews sounds like a good idea

With regards to the interviews you HAVE had - have you been given feedback each time on why you didn't get the role?

It sounds like you could benefit from seeing someone who can give you some interview skills support - that way when you do go for your next one you will have more confidence

mimishimmi Thu 04-May-17 00:25:16

YAnBU. It is soul destroying. Take a little break. Is there any other way you can get into your career without interviewing? Freelancing? Temp agencies? I'm kind of in a similar situation when trying for retail makeup roles - I look great on paper, I clearly have the skills (they all see my portfolio of work first) I often get called in for interviews and because my appearance/personality must not match up with their criteria (I'm not a bubbly, effervescent type at all and I have an ethnic background which gets a lot of flak), I get a lot of rejections. Some have totally upset me. Thankfully though, I'm with an agency and doing what I love freelance. I also run an ad on Gumtree and get work through that. So not as many hours as I'd like and not the stability of a fulltime role but it is what it is.

Bumplovin Thu 04-May-17 00:28:53

Didn't want to read and run. I would say that prioritising your mental Heath is more important than going for a job even though going for said job would help matters in worried that u feel suicidal could you feel up to phoning the samaritans or google your local mental Heath crisis team number to chat to someone tonight? I would say that you would not need the stress of an interview just now and maybe seeing your gp tomorrow for a referral for some psychology could help. You are not alone I've had depression and it's a horrible place to be but there is help out there u don't have to suffer in silence xxxx sending a hug

user1490744254 Thu 04-May-17 00:39:05

Like you said, take a step back now. Give yourself a little break (from worrying) and don't feel guilty/upset about the job interviews.

Speak to your friends, your doctor etc about the way you're feeling right now.

I hope you start to feel better soon, xx

FritzDonovan Thu 04-May-17 01:06:38

I was initially going to say yabu (because either of these could be THE ONE), but given your mental state atm, YANBU.
Make sure you are getting useful feedback, and as well as any career/interview /health support you can access, try to do something for yourself where your sense of worth is not linked to jobs/working/earning money. Volunteering using your skillset? Conservation work (good exercise)? School helper?

Cocklodger Thu 04-May-17 01:19:50

I felt like you, winged the interview and got it. But YANBU. I'd still try, but that's just me.
Given your mental state I think what you need right now is a GP cake flowers

user1493797837 Thu 04-May-17 07:20:00

Thanks everyone.

I'm Just done now.

My job required you to have excellent mental health. So going to the doctor is risky. But I need to do something. I'm only depressed because of unemployment. Nothing else. That's the frustrating thing.

summerisleair Thu 04-May-17 07:23:32

A lady I used to chat to on another forum years ago (who has since sadly passed away) once told me of the depression she felt after rejections, and how it actually put her off applying. It's understandable.

Voiceforreason Thu 04-May-17 07:25:26

You do right to take time out. Give yourself space to heal and consider what direction you want to go in. No qualification is ever wasted in this life even the quaification of knowing what it is to be at rock bottom. Take care of yourself first!

user1493797837 Thu 04-May-17 12:56:09

I've decided to go to the interviews.

My son is going to be at his nana on those days so I won't be doing anything else anyway.

I've just got to try my absolute best. Give them my all. Then by the end of next week arrange some mental health support.

Gallavich Thu 04-May-17 12:57:24

What's the profession if you don't mind me asking? Some posters on here may have experience to help you work out why you aren't getting jobs

isittimetogotobed Thu 04-May-17 12:58:23

Are yup a nqsw by any chance?

FeliciaJollygoodfellow Thu 04-May-17 13:01:49

OP I really feel for you. I felt the same after graduating - must have applied for hundreds of jobs yet in three months I hadn't even had an offer for interview. I went to the doctor and was even more devastated when she told me antidepressants take up to a month to start working!

Good luck at your interviews, if I were you I'd see a doc now as well but I've no idea about how detrimental that could be to your field.

user1493797837 Thu 04-May-17 13:03:56

I don't want to say my profession on here.

It's devastating being unemployed and people just don't understand unless they've been there themselves.

Mrscog Thu 04-May-17 13:05:01

OP can you tell us a bit more about the types of interviews/feedback so far etc.?

I interview a LOT of people and I'd be happy to help in anyway I can.

Good luck

Wormulonian Thu 04-May-17 13:25:25

Wow User that is a great attitude - you are really strong! Of course you are justified if you didn't go. However, I would see a GP to see what help they could offer (they might be better than mine). Also, if you are on JSA will they know if you don't go to the interviews and sanction you?

So many rejections really affect self esteem - I'm struggling to find a job after being a SAHM for years. I've been finding it soul destroying (I had a bad panic attack in my last one at the group talk and really thought I was going to collapse) I have degrees and higher degrees coming out of my ears and used to be very senior but can't even get a job stacking shelves now ! (not that there is anything wrong with stacking shelves - I would be happy for the money)

Topuptheglass Thu 04-May-17 13:25:51

Are you a social worker who's posted before? Sounds familiar.

Gallavich Thu 04-May-17 13:44:37

If you are a newly qualified social worker then you need to be applying to a local authority that has an intake of NQSWs all together. My LA's application is open now. Then you will be competing with others in the same situation and if you know how to interview you will not be at a disadvantage.
Forgive me if that's not your situation.

user1493797837 Thu 04-May-17 13:58:15

My feedback is that I did well but the roles went to people with more experience or who proved their competence more (in other words people known to the interviewers).

I'm not going to anymore after this. This will be my last two and I will come back after receiving some support.

OlennasWimple Thu 04-May-17 14:02:56

Good luck OP

Voiceforreason Thu 04-May-17 14:24:23

Good luck. Take care.

Mrscog Thu 04-May-17 19:40:17

'My feedback is that I did well but the roles went to people with more experience or who proved their competence more'

Not necessarily. You can't really complete with experience, but it might be that your style of answer isn't giving as much evidence as others - this will be especially the case if it's public sector.

Best of luck op.

mimishimmi Fri 05-May-17 00:12:57

I really dislike the 'quality of the candidates was very high and unfortunately...' responses. Are they supposed to make us feel better or worse?

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