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AIBU?

I wish someone would invent

53 replies

JudeeLevinson · 26/04/2017 07:06

A cord for an iron that doesn't get itself into a snakey mess no matter how carefully you store it. I store it carefully, but other family members do not and THIS is the reality for a lot of people, in my house it is the person with the vagina that gets to sort out the Gordian knot every fucking time. If more people with penises ironed on a regular basis, I reckon they would have invented a cord that looks like an old school telephone cord that you could take off the iron and put in a box separately or something, anything. AIBU? Or am I doing the storage wrong and some domestic goddess will come along and tell me that Dyson already do one or something and I should get out more or have a fucking biscuit or something.

I have to untwist the cord thing every time I use it, and if I can't be arsed to do that, I find myself standing about 1 foot from the plug with a nest of cord that catches on the iron holder and the ironing board so low down its as if a toddler were attempting to iron a shirt, if a toddler were capable of screaming MOTHERFUCKER! every time it happens.

It puts me in mind of that old Vic Reeves thing where the club owner has a key around his neck on a short chain and has to crouch down to unlock the door. That's me ironing.

OP posts:

Report

JaxingJump · 26/04/2017 07:13

Cordless.

JudeeLevinson · 26/04/2017 07:19

Well I had no idea, I feel like a right arsehole now.

tops self

No seriously, thanks, Jump this has made my day. I hate shopping on all levels. Last night DH mentioned getting a pair of digital binoculars and I was thinking is there such a thing? I am clever in many ways but in many ways dangerously thick as mince.

OP posts:

acornsandnuts · 26/04/2017 07:26

I have a cordless one. It was on sale from Argos and I bloody love it.

JaxingJump · 26/04/2017 07:30

Go online and buy a cordless. You can get them quite cheaply but it will make your life a lot easier😘

JudeeLevinson · 26/04/2017 07:31

It's pay day so I just bought one acorns
I am stupidly excited for something so dull.

OP posts:

BusterGonad · 26/04/2017 07:33

I loved your opening post Judee I'm so glad you didn't know about the cordless as it was a real treat to read!

JaxingJump · 26/04/2017 07:34

Judee, your post has really made me smile. It's rare to be able to help someone so simply. But your opening rant was great!

KC225 · 26/04/2017 07:34

Judee, I feel strangely excited for you. You wished there was such a thing and a few posts later it is on its way to you. What a great start to your day

JudeeLevinson · 26/04/2017 07:35

It is life-changing stuff :D
I hear there are these things called Washing Machines, though I have never seen one. ;)

I must say, for context, that I lived abroad in an isolated place off grid for several years and I kind of lost touch with what happened in technology for a while, and most other things to be honest.

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JudeeLevinson · 26/04/2017 07:37

Aw thanks KC it was my first post and I felt like a bit of a knob but no more!

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toomuchfaster · 26/04/2017 07:38

How can you have a cordless iron?? Mind-blowing!! Do I need a fire to warm it in??? I get round the cord problem by not ironing!

FannyWisdom · 26/04/2017 07:38

If you drop the plug through the hole in the stand end of the board it won't coil up.
Honest, try it.

BusterGonad · 26/04/2017 07:39

Me too tomuchfaster I hate ironing!

FannyWisdom · 26/04/2017 07:40

Obviously thread the plug and then plug in.

It's a secret bit of engineering on the ironing board.

JudeeLevinson · 26/04/2017 07:43

I haven't ironed for most of my life but now I have DS, it's the MIL that will look at me like I am the spawn of a thousand slags if you can't cut your face on the creases.

I just love all of yous right now. Thanks Buster as well. :)

Fanny, if Amazon fuck up the delivery like they always do, I will try this until it comes. Cheers my love.

OP posts:

statetrooperstacey · 26/04/2017 07:44

I'm off to look at cordless irons now! Cheers op. I spent a shocking amount of money on a super large ironing board with a special cord holder thing to kept the out the way, the ironing board is wonky! So I still don't iron anything. I hear u sista

WowserBowser · 26/04/2017 07:46

Spawn of a thousand slags

ErrolTheDragon · 26/04/2017 07:50

Do cordless irons really work well? Do they hold enough heat to steam iron a garment without having to reheat, and how long to reheat between garments?

(My iron cord doesn't trouble me anyway - I store the iron on a shelf in the garage with the cord hanging down)

BusterGonad · 26/04/2017 07:56

I wish I had one of those steamer things that shops use, so much easier, hang the garment up and steam it. I iron more creases in the fuckers than I get out with a conventional iron!

AnnieAnoniMouse · 26/04/2017 08:03

Cordless irons have been around since people stupidly decided ironing clothes was a necessity (fuckers) it's only the method of heating them that's changed...thank god we no longer need an open fire in the summer to iron our many layers of petticoats.

I have a corded iron and a steaming iron. Neither of them are what you'd call used over worked!

Tell your MIL if she wants to cut her fingers on the creases she's welcome to your ironing!😊

AnnieAnoniMouse · 26/04/2017 08:06

Buster you're allowed to buy one, they're not only available for shops 😂 I got mine in the US (long and BORING story) its small but dies the job. If I ironed loads I'd get one with a bigger water 'tank' - on the other hand this one is very light.

PeacesofAte · 26/04/2017 08:07

Why do you think you need a penis to do any inventing?

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JudeeLevinson · 26/04/2017 08:12

I thought those steamer things were my only other option until 30 minutes ago. I worked in a charity shop and wanted to steal it, they are fab.

Oh my MIL. I won't talk about ironing to her, it sets her off, because understandably I wasn't doing much of it because of the knot thing, and not having a brain to work out that I could hang it from a shelf (you are genius Errol). I suspect she'd like to brand my arse with an iron that spells "SHIT DIL" and her son with one that simply spells "MINE", but that's whole other story, kids :)

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JudeeLevinson · 26/04/2017 08:21

My point was Peaces, before my stupidity was exposed, was not that women can't invent, but that men usually do the inventing of things and the production of things and instead of going to Mars they might try to make the lot of wimmin more betterer because wimmin usually do most of the ironing and therefore clearly they don't care about me and my knot, and their priorities are whack, inventors are misogynists and FML in general.

Turns out that what I was saying was a crock of shit, I was responding in a generalised way to a personal woe and it was wrong of me. My DH doesn't know what an iron is, and my MIL hates me, as even though he is a grown man and I don't iron for him somehow this is still my fault. I am aware of this and I apologise. Ignore me and treat everything I say as a turd falling into your drink.

Is there anything else I should know about marvellous inventions?
Probably.

Did you know that tinned peaches and white chocolate make a marvellous Breville toastie, dredge some icing sugar on that shit. I offer it up only because I blew my colleague's mind with it yesterday.

OP posts:

Applebite · 26/04/2017 08:24

I thought you wanted to ask what people wish could be invented. And I was going to say wings. Wings that would let me glide over all the shitty traffic and get a nice view of the city.

Not like paragliding or anything that's already been invented - more like the ones that Bessie gets in "the faraway tree" that she can just put on and flap.

Now don't you wish you'd rethought your cordless iron wish?!?

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