OH made himself a pot of coffee then went into another room. It was one of those small cafetiere pots that fill one mug or three (?) espresso cups. Accidentally, I knocked it off the worktop. Big smash, lots of tiny shards of glass, coffee everywhere. It's a hard floor.
I said whoops! and set about clearing up the mess—mop, brushes, collecting bits of glass carefully, etc. When all was done, I took OH his shoes as he was only in socks, just in case I'd missed any shards. I said I thought it was safe to go back in the kitchen and then made a comment or two (positive and factual) about the colour of some Cuprinol that he'd painted on the bike shed.
He grunted that he'd heard me, or maybe it was a nod. This is major communication for him so I thought all was fine.
I came and sat down in the living room, with a cup of tea, and said I'd got out a new coffee pot for him to use (I've been known to break cafetieres before so try to have a spare). He said, accusingly I thought, and with emphasis, that he was waiting for things to return to how he'd left them.
I told him I hadn't made the coffee because the last time I made some for him his comment was "There's no coffee in it" (I take coffee quite weak but I had tried to make it stronger for him).
He then lectured me on the principle that when you break something of someone else's you should replace the broken thing/get things back to the state they were in. I agree with this principle but explained that I hadn't wanted to waste coffee and reminded him about the last time. He could not accept this as a point of view even though he must have known I wasn't being deliberately nasty to him, just that....
Nope, he was stuck at the unchangeable principle of the thing and the lack of mitigating circumstances.
If he'd asked me to remake the coffee when I brought his shoes, I would have done but I'm just expected to know what he wants or is thinking without being told. I haven't a clue quite often a lot.
I think his uncompromisingness, and assumptions of low standards on my part when he knows better, is sulking. Is it?
I made a fresh pot of coffee once I understood he was going to be intransigent and a mega-grump otherwise.
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AIBU?
Was he sulking?
41 replies
kinter · 23/04/2017 17:26
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Smeaton ·
23/04/2017 17:30
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Smeaton ·
23/04/2017 18:20
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0dfod ·
23/04/2017 18:22
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