A while ago I started a thread with regards to my fiancé's relationship with his parents following his mother's death. This is my thread.
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/2881126-Advice-needed-about-bereavement-and-family-fall-out?pg=7&order=
Following the thread my fiancé and I had a chat and he told the reason things were so strained was that as his dad was abusive towards his mother which culminated in his
mother running away one night leaving him and his sister with his dad. She came back after a couple of months and things carried on as normal. Basically their relationship has never recovered.
He did end up going to the funeral but wanted to go in his own, he sat at the back
and his father ignored him the whole
time. But it was done and now he wants to move on.
Anyway when I read some of the responses to my original thread I realised that me trying to include his mother in the plans
was wrong. I really thought that this was the best thing at the time, but I see that this could have been perceived as insensitive and thoughtless as some people pointed out. I couldn't stop thinking about this and
last week we cancelled the wedding. We are going to get married with just the two of us there in a registry office. We've paid my mum back the deposit and can't really
afford to buy new stuff for the wedding. It was too late to cancel my dress. So yesterday I picked it up. It's a typical strapless, corset back dress. The thing is is it too much for a registry office wedding, will I look silly?
AIBU?
WIBU to wear my original dress to my registry office wedding
ScentedCandle123 · 19/04/2017 08:51
Of course wear it! The registry office we got married in was really lovely, and although I didn't have a traditional dress,a few of our friends have done the whole shebang there, and didn't look at all silly!
Hope you have a lovely wedding 
Oh yes, wear it! You aren't sneaking your marriage in shamefully, you're making it a hugely personal and special event with just you and your partner to keep it separated from recent problems. Of course you should dress the part 
Sounds so upsetting for your fella and you wearcyour dress you have bought it for your wedding, I wore a proper wedding dress tova registry office tonnes of women do
Newsletters you might like
Wear the dress!
But, is there a reason your close family, maybe just your mum or anyone else you're very close to, couldn't come? I can't see you'd need to tell the other side of the family. Or would that open up a whole host of new problems? I'm not saying you should do this, just throwing it out there as you sound disappointed about it all.
For what it's worth, I had a tiny short wedding and spent most of the day just with DH. We also had no money. At the time I might have chosen a bigger, longer wedding as in the evening we went to a little pub for a meal and were telling people "we got married earlier today" which felt a bit surreal. But I look back now and it was definitely the most wonderful day of my life. And we're still together nearly 25 years on. So all the best for a long a happy life with your fiancé. The wedding is really just the start . Enjoy it and look lovely in your dress.
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.