A bit of a backstory ... 15 yeaars ago my MIL helped us out financially as we were in lots of debt (caused by my OH) and were facing bankrupcy and loosing roof over our (and our children's) heads. She took some equity out of her house and bailed us out ... not completely but it made our situation stable enough to plod on. She kept a thid of the money she took out for some improvements to her house which she never did and the money is still in her bank account. We were paying back the money she gave us for about two years. Then she told us to stop paying her as she doesn't need that money and to treat it as my OH early inheritance and she will adjust her will accordingly. Now MIL is in her mid 90's and cannot look after herself anymore ... we found her a nice care home which comes with a price tag. The family (there are 7 children of hers) decided it's a perfect place for her and moved her in. They're in the midst of sorting her house up ready to be sold and my OH came clean about the money she gave us then but also about 10 years ago she took some more equity out of the house which nobody else seems to know about (or doesn't want to admit to). The house is in London so is worth a lot of money. We sell the house and all the money goes to the care home and nobody gets anything out of myMIL estate. My OH feels bad about the whole situation and told me we should pay all that money back. The truth is we have no spare income to do this (unless he changes jobs which he refuses to). It is causing arguments between me and my OH. I see it as she waved the debt and made it a gift therefore we don't have to pay it back. If we do pay it back it will go straight to the care home (it's charity) and no sibbling will benefit anyway but we'll be under financial strain again ... AIBU?
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AIBU?
AIBU about not wanting to pay this money back?
34 replies
feelingsickaboutit · 09/04/2017 20:55
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