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To be annoyed with DH for offering DD's boyfriend (nearly 15) a beer?

(23 Posts)
SomewhereNow Sun 09-Apr-17 17:29:11

I know he meant well and was just trying to be a matey Dad (BF seems nice but is not very forthcoming, think he was just trying to break the ice a bit) but I think I'd be quite pissed off if someone one gave DD (14) alcohol without me knowing - we allow her some at home but that's our decision under our roof.

I like a drink and drank from around the same age so am not being a prude but I'm just not sure it's our decision to make.

Birdsgottaf1y Sun 09-Apr-17 17:34:34

You disagree with him doing that, point out why you don't think he should have and then let it go.

toldmywrath Sun 09-Apr-17 17:37:06

I'm with you OP. He should not have offered alcohol to someone so young. If he realises and doesn't do so again, then you can chalk this one down to experience.

araiwa Sun 09-Apr-17 17:39:13

you let your 14 year old dd drink

he gave him a beer, they werent doing tequila shots til they passed out

PinkHeart59156816 Sun 09-Apr-17 17:40:07

I agree with you.

It's fine to give your own child alcohol once they are of an age you feel comfortable with but I think offering it to someone else child is wrong unless of course you've spoke to parents first.

I assume you said all this to your dh and he will think next time

blackteasplease Sun 09-Apr-17 17:40:56

I agree. Its a decision for his parents, not your dh.

ElspethFlashman Sun 09-Apr-17 17:40:58

Ugh. Did he call him "mate" too? hmm

TheStoic Sun 09-Apr-17 17:42:05

He's trying to be a cool dad.

SomewhereNow Sun 09-Apr-17 17:44:14

In his defence I think he's trying to be a nice Dad and no he didn't call him 'mate'. But yes I've said I didn't think he should have and that if BF's Mum has a problem he can square it with her.

gammaraystar Sun 09-Apr-17 17:51:20

He is probably having sex with your daughter, 1 beer is the least of your worries surely?

SuperMoonIsKeepingMeUpToo Sun 09-Apr-17 17:55:55

Bit of a leap there, gamma!confused

oldwife Sun 09-Apr-17 18:01:36

Mm we used to let let teens have a small drink at home but offering another child is a bit off.

BitchQueen90 Sun 09-Apr-17 18:04:21

I don't see the problem with 14 year olds having one supervised drink at home, however if it's not your child then it's not your place to decide. His parents might not be happy with it and it should be cleared with them first.

TheStoic Sun 09-Apr-17 18:15:52

Nice = offering a coffee or tea.

Not alcohol. The kid must've thought hmm.

VestalVirgin Sun 09-Apr-17 18:23:31


I would have been very weirded out at being offered alcohol by an adult when I was 14. Or 15. Actually, any age under 18.

Granted, I am female and there'd have been the danger of a man trying to get me drunk for sinister purposes, but I'd have been weirded out by a friend's mother doing this, too.

It's just not responsible adult behaviour, and as you weren't there, it seems like this was not even a "We have some beer with our meal and don't want to exclude the boyfriend" thing.

SomewhereNow Sun 09-Apr-17 18:29:35

No I was there, we were having a drink ourselves in the garden as it was a nice day and when DD went to the fridge to get something and saw that we had drinks she commented and DH said 'X can have a beer if he likes' in quite a throwaway fashion, he honestly wasn't being creepy. He didn't offer DD as she doesn't like beer (not that she drinks it regularly).

Trifleorbust Sun 09-Apr-17 19:18:43

My friend's mum used to offer me a brandy from 14/15 - I did drink at that age with friends but I didn't think an adult should have been offering it to me!

SparklyPantaloons Sun 09-Apr-17 19:39:04

Wtf Gamma?!

caffeinequick Sun 09-Apr-17 19:40:56

I think that offering another child alcohol when they are underage is not on. Your own kids separate entirely.

Floggingmolly Sun 09-Apr-17 19:42:44

Very odd thing to do hmm

SomewhereNow Sun 09-Apr-17 19:45:09

Thanks for that insight gamma, I think I'll deal with that as and when it arises.

Rawr Sun 09-Apr-17 22:02:34

Wtf Gamma?!

I mean, she's not wrong confused

Cooroo Sun 09-Apr-17 22:25:25

Honestly to me it seems a bit ill-judged but friendly and not worth worrying about. Remind him the lad is under age and suggest he doesn't do it again.

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