To be annoyed by comments (party thread)

[Jakeyboy1]

Had party for my son at weekend (5), had entertainer in a hall.

Will share with you some comments from parents;

1 - sarcastically as I open 3 large family size bags of crisps and put into a bowl "wow I see you're going to a lot of effort there!" (Said by the mum who put one unopened packet of small crisps between 4 out at her party and all the kids had a fight over them)

2 - "god did you buy those sandwiches you didn't even make them" me "I made them I am quite capable of making sandwiches thank you" this was my sister who never does a party for her child as too much effort. Sandwiches were crappy jam sandwiches I placed in foil trays - hardly looked like an M&S platter but I'll take that as a compliment.


3 - as I get cake out of the box - random dad - "oh so you aren't even going to pretend you made it then, my wife makes all our cakes"

There was a few more that I won't bore you with.

?!?!!?!

What is the matter with people? Why the digs? Most of these either don't do parties or go to soft play and pay for it all done for you and if I had made comments the other way round it wouldn't have gone down well. Can people not just shut the fuck up and be grateful their child is being entertained for 2 hours?
Did party after a v stressful week at work with massive pitch, was actually feeling quite proud of myself before the digs.
Rant over, sorry it's been vexing me!

[UppityHumpty]

I personally would have commented regarding each one and burned relationships to the ground. That you didn't is a good reflection on you

[Allthebestnamesareused]

ignore ignore ignore

Smile and wave.

1. Yeah well we're not all stingy gits.
   

1. I am capable of making sandwiches but how fab you think they good enough to be shop bought.
   

1. Little Jimmy has had his heart set on this "Colin the Caterpillar" - so you know what it being his birthday I indulged him!
   

People are so ---- ugh!

[Littlepond]

It never ceases to amaze me how rude some people can be. I can quite believe all the comments you got, people are the worst!

When my kids were younger I would only invite kids to their parties where I knew and liked their parents because I really can't be doing with all that. althoughh the worst for those kinds of comments is also my sister, (it's always sisters, isn't it!) and she doesn't even have kids! (My fave though was when I posted a pic on a family chat of my son blowing out his candles on his 3rd birthday cake and my sister replied "oh, you bought a cake this time then?" and I was like, uh actually, I made that one!! - was more the bad quality of photo than good quality of cake which led to that error but it still gave me great satisfaction)

I don't know what the answer is because there will always be rude, competitive people in the world and they suck. Console yourself with the fact that it is their own inferiority complex which forces them to try and put others down to make themselves feel better. I'm sure your son's party was ace (and surely all parties have bowls of crisps?! Were they expecting you to bake the crisps yourself?!)

[LoisWilkersonsLastNerve]

A good old fashioned "are you saying you don't like my child's cake?", "are these crisps not good enough?" Reverse it back is a good tactic to point out rudeness. Gits.

[Madwomans]

Some people are total idiots, and there is a specific kind of person whose psychological makeup is geared towards exactly that kind of juvenile 'Gosh, going to a lot of effort, here -- NOT' sarcasm.

As one of the parents who recently took the 'haven't, time, so throw money at it' after-school weekday soft-play party option, rather than the other locally-acceptable done thing (hire village hall, bouncy castle/entertainer, make and serve all food, deal with the politics of Pass the Parcel with 30 over-excited four and five year olds, and then clear up a massive mess), I salute you!

The sum total of DH's and I's 'effort' for DS's party was helping him write the invitations, ordering a cake, and getting out a credit card at the soft play.

[luckylucky24]

To be honest I have only ever had great comments back after a party maybe they were more subtle when slagging me off but if I had heard those comments I would make sure they knew they wouldn't be invited again.

[SarahOoo]

I'm at that point in life when I'll now say 'really? You just said that to me??'

I honestly don't think ignoring will educate them so you've got to respond 😂

[Jakeyboy1]

I normally do respond and am not backwards at coming forwards, I frequently am the one to point things out just didn't feel my kids party was the time or place. When I point these things out people seem offended. Starting to feel like can't say anything yet people are entitled to say it to me. Thank goodness for anonymous rants!

[Msqueen33]

WTAF that people think they have the right to be so rude!

[JaxingJump]

God. What a load of dickheads. I can only hope they were all sleep deprived and that was the reason for their lack of filters.

[LadyPW]

I'd have gone with
If I'd been a guest I'd have been 'ooo jam sarnies, fab!' followed by a mental thought of 'when's the cake being cut?' and preceded by a crafty look at the crisp packets to check they weren't cheese & onion or prawn cocktail.

[LoisWilkersonsLastNerve]

My dm took a swipe at my shop bought cake and I accidentally forgot to give her a slice

[hazeyjane]

I think I'd struggle not to poke them in the eye with a cocktail stick.

[QuiteLikely5]

Are you sure that three parents actually verbally insulted you?

Could you have imagined this?

I can't for the life of me believe people would be so rude

[Archedbrowse]

This frightens me OP as it's my DC's 4th bday party this weekend, and the first 'big' party where people (ie classmates) other than close friends family coming.

Everything food wise will be out of a packet, including the destined to be ignored carrot sticks etc.

We have ordered children's sandwich platters from Costco (jam/cheese/ham).

There is no cake!!! DC wanted a 'sweetie cake' this is a big number four outlined in marshmallows and filled with haribo etc . And that's not even made by me. Therefore there will be no cake in the party bags, each child can help themselves to a handful of the sweeties on the way out and put it in their bags.

Am I in for a barrage of comments and tuts do you think?

[ALittleMop]

1. is obviously v inexperienced in the way of parties. they only want the crisps
   
2. is your sister, ergo doesn't count. also they never eat the sandwiches, regardless, we all know they are just for show, it all being about the crisps
   
3. benefit of the doubt - could have been being jokey, but also obviously deeply sexist arse judging you for being a woman who failed to bake when he has a wife at home who embraces her place in the kitchen where he likes her...when did he last bake a cake eh?
   

Take no notice.

Were the kids happy?

[1bighappyfamily]

Hang on. Wait. You can get children's sandwich platters at CostCo?!

[Itaintme]

Sound like jokey remarks you took the wrong way.

No need to look for things to be offended about.

[pictish]

Remarkable...I have never observed one comment like that at a party, never mind three.

I wonder if the comments from the mum about the crisps and the dad about the cake were an attempt at humour. It depends who and how it was said I suppose.

[Mulledwine1]

This is astonishing. All I can think is that these parents are seriously insecure about their own parenting if they have to make such ridiculous insulting comments.

Do you live in an area where everyone's an Earth mother and everyone bakes their own sugar-free and gluten-free cakes and otherwise you only eat cucumber and carrot sticks?

[QuiteLikely5]

I know Pictish! Quite unbelievable

[BeyondThePage]

Personally I would have called it "having a bit of a chat", not "being rude" - sooooooo mumsnetty...

but then I have a tendency to open gob and put both feet in it all the time. They were 3 separate people, not having digs (each would have had to say multiple things to me to even realise...), just conversation openers. Gives you the chance to respond "cheeky! ..." followed by whatever

1. starter prawn cocktail and main beef and onion... cake later...
   
2. oooooo I am chuffed to bits you think I made them, flattery will get you everywhere...
   
3. no time to make a cake, hubby and I spend our time doing other things

[Zaphodsotherhead]

That's why I go for the 'do you realise you said that out loud?' comment. If it was 'just a joke' then everyone smiles and it's fine, if it was a dig, subtle or otherwise, then they know you know and won't take any shit.

[Madwomans]

including the destined to be ignored carrot sticks etc.

Yes, we could just print out a photo of the carrot sticks and put them on a paper plate. Or maybe someone could invent a special children's party plate with a photograph of ignored carrot sticks on it...? You could put the crisps on top.

The last party other than his own DS was at he ignored not only the carrot sticks, but also cake, biscuits, pizza, strawberries dipped in chocolate etc and ate only Hula Hoops. He sat next to a giant bowl of them and hoovered them in.

[TinyTear]

Carrot sticks always disappear in my parties and the class parties i've been to... I have given up on cucumber and hummous though...

Proud to serve Sainsbury's or M&S cakes though...