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AIBU?

Would you want to know?

31 replies

foxanddaisy · 30/03/2017 13:43

Have NC

Was visiting a relative at the weekend, they do masses for us in fairness as I am a single parent on my own with a child and on a low working income.

Anyway long story short we had been talking about the hairdresser we all go to and relative said why didn't I book in (been at least 18 months since I went). I said that I would on work pay day but they insisted that I went that day and they would treat me as it was Mothers Day weekend, I refused several times but they insisted, when they looked they did not have enough cash on them so I was told that if I paid for it myself they would give it back to me when they ran us home and would nip to the cash machine.

I had a job interview a couple of days later and so went, I then went to get some food shopping for the dc meals and they give dc pocket money to spend each week, they always say to me to give the dc their pocket money and they will give it me back if we are going somewhere before they have had a chance to get it as it is the only time the dc are anywhere near shops so I did and picked up a couple of items for them while going.

Only there was a bit of a crisis in between then and us going home and the car was unsuable so we ended up walking home so I did not get the hairdressing money and the dc did not get their pocket money.

This is absolutely fine, I am not grabby and the kids are not bothered in the slightest and never even mention if they don't get their pocket money.

The thing is I am thirty pound down, thirty pound that I needed this week for packed lunch and food stuff and electric (pre pay meter) and it has left us absolutely fucked. I literally have £2.40 electric and around £3 in my purse.

They owe us nothing, they do loads for us and a couple of months ago when our freezer defrosted and we had no money to replace they sent us food to help and refused to take money when I got paid.
I also feel shit as I know they now have car costs to fix.

But we are really really fucked.

God that all makes me sound like a grabby bitch :(

OP posts:

Report

PurpleDaisies · 30/03/2017 13:46

If you've got costs you can't cover, definitely ask them for help. When is pay day?

halcyondays · 30/03/2017 13:46

Ask them for it.

PurpleDaisies · 30/03/2017 13:46

Sorry, help was the wrong word. Ask them for the money they owe you.

Twopeapods · 30/03/2017 13:47

I don't think you sound grabby at all.
Do you think they will give you the money when they see you next? If so would putting the £30 on a credit card help? And just pay it when they give you the money.

What about an emergency parcel from the food bank? I think you will need a referral from someone like the health visitor? But would that get you through until payday?

PeppaPigTastesLikeBacon · 30/03/2017 13:48

What is your AIBU?
Are you wondering if you should ask for the money? If I was skint I would maybe ask for a £30 loan until payday?

TheHiphopopotamus · 30/03/2017 13:48

Normally, I would say YABU but if they insisted you go to the hairdresser when you said you didn't have the money, they should pay especially as it's left you short.

I understand your dilemma if they do loads of stuff for you, but you really should ask them for the money.

foxanddaisy · 30/03/2017 13:55

Yes so my aibu is should I ask for the money?
I don't have credit cards or an overdraft just a basic account.
Pay day is a week on Friday if I am paid on time but I will get £20.70 child benefit on Tuesday.

There is a pay as you feel cafe near us which has a mini shop selling fruit and veg so I am going to go at the weekend and at least get some potatoes to bulk out what is in the freezer.

OP posts:

gleam · 30/03/2017 13:58

I would ask. They insisted, you relied on it.

floraeasy · 30/03/2017 14:03

You should ask.

That way, the get the opportunity to make good on their promise to you.

In the future, be very wary of offers like this from them.

PurpleDaisies · 30/03/2017 14:03

If you ring your bank they might authorise a small emergency overdraft.

Getting referred to a food bank is a good idea too.

What have you got at home? People can recommend some cheap meals to last you over the weekend.

Have you got any friends/family that might loan you a fiver?

foxanddaisy · 30/03/2017 14:13

I have a full small bag or frozen mince
Two bags of pasta
Two pasta sauce

So that's easy for at least two meals

Enough for a chicken or veg curry and a sachet of rice

Then 3 burgers and a frozen small portion of chilli
No potatoes, but no chips, no other veg
No pack lunch stuff
Very little electric.

OP posts:

foxanddaisy · 30/03/2017 14:15

Our food bank posted pictures of empty shelves and a desperate plea for stuff yesterday so I feel awful asking them when there is people with nothing at all.

OP posts:

ThePiglet59 · 30/03/2017 14:15

"In the future, be very wary of offers like this from them."

This is good advice. I'm sure that they were trying to be nice, but sometime people who are at least comfortably off don't realise quite what tight margins some other people live on.

£30 is probably nothing to them, and they would have no problem waiting to get it back a couple of weeks late if your situation was reversed.

ScarlettFreestone · 30/03/2017 14:20

Of course you should ask for the money they promised you.

I'm sure that they would be mortified to know their actions left you short.

They do lots for you because they love you and your children. They'll be happy to give you the money.

I know it's hard but please pick up the phone and explain.

Marilynsbigsister · 30/03/2017 14:26

I think some posters do not have the slightest understanding of poverty in the U.K. 2017 !
If OP is on a pre-pay meter and down to £3 then she does not inhabit a world where 'a credit card' or a 'small emergency overdraft' are even remote possibilities. There are two distinct worlds. Those who are 'credit worthy' and those who are not.

Sadly if you are not, then your cost of living is exponentially higher than those who can access credit. They pay more for utilities because they are on meters and not able to exercise choice. They pay more for food because they will often have expensive public transport costs and can't just drive to the cheaper out of town discount supermarket. Leaving them to pay nearly half as much again on foodstuffs from 'convenient' close-by corner shop. That's but a few examples of how expensive it is to be poor. Don't even get on to the 'cost' of borrowing when a genuine emergency arises..

QuiteLikely5 · 30/03/2017 14:26

Contact them and explain.

Don't feel bad about the food bank it's there for scenarios like yours

ImperialBlether · 30/03/2017 14:29

I think you need to be totally honest with them and say, "You know I said I couldn't afford the hairdresser's, but you said you'd pay? It cost me £30 and now I don't have any money until payday on X. Would you be able to let me have that money? I hate to ask but you did say you'd let me have it and I really don't have any more money."

Marilynsbigsister · 30/03/2017 14:29

Is your electric on 'emergency' or do you still have that buffer ?

KitKat1985 · 30/03/2017 14:32

Could you ask them for a loan of £30 to see you through to pay day?

foxanddaisy · 30/03/2017 14:33

I have a £5 emergency credit buffer Marilyn.

OP posts:

Mummyoflittledragon · 30/03/2017 14:36

Please tell them you don't have enough money to feed your children. I'd be mortified if I found out this happened as a result of my promising money. I really think you should go to the food bank. It's what it's there for. I'm also surprised your dcs don't qualify for free school meals as that would be a help.

wheresmycake · 30/03/2017 14:40

How do school meals work? For example could DC have school dinners if they don't usually then you pay for them after payday? Not much help if you would have to pay upfront/couldn't afford to pay after payday tho sorry

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HairsprayBabe · 30/03/2017 14:42

I would let them know you really need the money back, but aside from that,

How many people are you trying to feed?
What size are the jars of sauce bags of pasta etc?
Do you have any tins that could help it stretch?
Could you use pasta and sauce as a pasta salad type thing for lunches?
Do you have any cheese/milk/eggs etc?

Closedenv · 30/03/2017 14:43

You have to tell them your predicament saying you feel really torn but because of how things turned out you are now in dire straits.

Marilynsbigsister · 30/03/2017 14:48

So with the £5 'emergency' you have about 3 days of electricity before you are cut off ? That is not going to get you to pay day. You have no choice but to tell them. You can't run out of electric as the heating/hot water won't work , not to mention no lights in the evening. Swallow your pride OP , have a cuppa, steel yourself and make that call

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