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My friend expects me to give her my babies old cloths

(30 Posts)
IJustWantABrew Wed 22-Mar-17 16:31:23

My friend has just found out she's pregnant and expects me to give her all my sons old clothes should she have a boy.
I have no need for these clothes, and don't see a need to hang onto bags of clothes on the off chance we have another child in the future and that child be a boy. (We are happy with one and currently can't afford a second anyway) With that in mind I have decided to donate all his old bits (including some barely used toys) to a local women's shelter who help families escaping domestic abuse.
She has found out I did this and is now in a mood that I didn't give her the stuff. When I was pregnant and buying stuff for my son she would make sly comments about me buying stuff when it was on sale, and buying from the likes of Tesco, Asda and Sainsbury's. She would often stick her nose in the air and comment that she would only dress her child in stuff from the likes of mammas and papas, and seemed to think that buying in the sale was beneath her.
AIBU to donate stuff when I could have given it to her?

DJBaggySmalls Wed 22-Mar-17 16:32:57

Some friend! Have you said something back to her?

EatTheChocolateTeapot Wed 22-Mar-17 16:33:41

YANBU, it's your clothes, you have paid for them.

FutureMammyB Wed 22-Mar-17 16:33:47

YANBU, at the end of the day they're your clothes therefore it's your decision what to do with them

Wando1986 Wed 22-Mar-17 16:34:12

"Sorry, it's all gone to charity. I thought you didn't like stuff from supermarkets for babies clothes anyway?" End of conversation.

Soubriquet Wed 22-Mar-17 16:34:26

Should have said "sorry didn't think you would want it since it isnt mamas and papas clothing"

bignamechangeroonie Wed 22-Mar-17 16:34:27

I would say something like 'well I didn't think you'd want them anyone since they were mostly supermarket clothes'

Teach her to be a sniffy cowboy

Ellisandra Wed 22-Mar-17 16:35:25

Why are you 'friends' with her? confused

Iwantausername Wed 22-Mar-17 16:38:12

I was going to say YAB a bit U to not offer her a few things and still donate to charity but with how rude she's been YANBU at all!

HecateAntaia Wed 22-Mar-17 16:38:23

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

IJustWantABrew Wed 22-Mar-17 16:50:09

She used to be really nice, but now has developed some sense of entitlement and that she is better than other people/me. (God knows where this has come from)
I did make a comment about how she prefers 'good quality stuff', she suddenly backtracked and said that it's okay when there small hmm. Think she's started to work out how bloody expensive tiny humans are!

EpoxyResin Wed 22-Mar-17 16:51:48

Bigger picture, YANBU, but I do think your decision (or perhaps just the fact she seems surprised that it's one you'd make) reflects some amount of love lost in your friendship which certainly isn't lost on her.

harderandharder2breathe Wed 22-Mar-17 16:52:11

Of course yanbu, sounds like a friend you could do without

MadameCholetsDirtySecret Wed 22-Mar-17 16:52:52

SHe is sniffy that you donated to some of the most vulnerable women and children. She sounds delightful hmm

SaorAlbaGuBrath Wed 22-Mar-17 16:53:48

I'll quite happily give anything to anyone, until it's expected/demanded in which case I just won't. Your friend is being very rude.

Aeroflotgirl Wed 22-Mar-17 16:54:30

Sorry she does not sound like a very nice friend, one to distance yourself from. I would say, sorry I thought you did not like Supermarket clothes, so I donated them to people who will appreciate them.

morningconstitutional2017 Wed 22-Mar-17 16:58:24

As she's been so sniffy about cheap clothes it would damn well serve her right for her not to get any second hand from you.
"I donated them to charity as I thought you were getting them from Mamas and Papas!"
She'll have to file that one under 'Tough Shit' won't she?

Trifleorbust Wed 22-Mar-17 16:59:49

If she is your friend, give her the clothes. But it doesn't sound like she is your friend.

Without wishing to sound 'entitled', I think I would be a bit hmmif my friend (actual friend) could do me a massive favour and deliberately chose not to.

Nicpem1982 Wed 22-Mar-17 17:03:36

Yanbu it's lovely that you have donated them to vulnerable ladies and children.

I once gave my dds old clothes to a "friend" whom I met at a baby group I stopped as we were at a party and she told her dd that she would look lovely in my dds dress and told us she'd told family not to buy her dd clothes as she'd be having them from us. Made me feel like I was being taken advantage of and I didn't offer again- funnily enough she deleted me from FB and stopped talking to me after that

MrDacresEUSubsidy Wed 22-Mar-17 17:03:39

I did make a comment about how she prefers 'good quality stuff', she suddenly backtracked and said that it's okay when there small

At which point I would have commented that it was funny how it was alright for her to make sniffy comments about you when you were buying them, but fine for her to change her mind when it's her wallet involved and she wants them for free. But then I can be a gobby cow when I want to grin

FishInAWetSuitAndFlippers Wed 22-Mar-17 17:03:41

As someone who was overwhelmed with the generosity of people like you when I showed up at a refuge with nothing at all can I just say thank you.

The clothes that you donated will help someone out massively and the recipient will be so very grateful and cherish every item.

Your 'friend' is a knob. You have done a lovely thing flowers

EweAreHere Wed 22-Mar-17 17:15:03

She sounds delightful. hmm

I would just flat out tell her that you believe in the charities you support and will continue to do so. She has the means to buy her own clothes, especially since she has repeatedly made snide comments about the clothes you've bought your children

TheDowagerCuntess Wed 22-Mar-17 17:18:04

Without wishing to sound 'entitled', I think I would be a bit *if my friend (actual friend) could do me a massive favour and deliberately chose not to.*

We all would, but then again, we wouldn't have shot ourselves in the foot by deriding the clothes in the first place.

IamFriedSpam Wed 22-Mar-17 17:22:02

So she made snobby remarks about you buying clothes in the sale (she has a fair point babies are renowned for being highly sensitive about wearing clothes that were 50% off!) and is now annoyed you donated the clothes that were beneath her. It's probably a good thing imagine how offended her baby would be once it realised that it's clothes were not only bought in the sale but were also second hand! Quelle horreur!

Trollspoopglitter Wed 22-Mar-17 17:24:40

If my friend could do me a massive favour and deliberately chose not to, I'd wonder what I've done/said to piss her off. Oh yes, criticised my friend and poo-pooed the quality of the very same clothes I'm now hoping get receive for free.

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