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to stop DS using my car for this?

(34 Posts)
VelvetSpoon Fri 17-Mar-17 17:42:06

DS (18) was asked to pick me up from the station (in my car) today at 17.15.

He hasn't turned up.

According to DS2 who is an unreliable historian, he left at 1700, which should have got him here in plenty of time. But he's not here. And DS2 has now turned his phone off.

I am freezing and fed up. I already had to ring repeatedly from 3pm to remind DS1, eventually speaking to DS2 at 4pm who said DS1 was asleep but he'd wake him up.

I feel DS1 doesn't appreciate that having access to the car is a luxury, and am minded to take it away from him for a couple of weeks - AIBU?

ClaireLumia Fri 17-Mar-17 17:51:24

I'd find out what happened first but if it is that he's just not bothered then you're definitely not being unreasonable to stop him using your car.

FatOldBag Fri 17-Mar-17 17:53:34

Find out what happened first but you can stop him using the car for whatever reason you like, it's your car.

VelvetSpoon Fri 17-Mar-17 17:55:11

DS1 phoned me. He was still at home, asleep and had never left.

So I'm now fuming with both DSs. Am now on the bus home which will take about 30 mins.

Trifleorbust Fri 17-Mar-17 17:56:42

Definitely remove access to the car.

ilovesooty Fri 17-Mar-17 17:58:00

I thought your elder son was at sixth form at school? Why was he asleep all day? Too right he shouldn't expect access to your car until he can treat you with respect.

HecateAntaia Fri 17-Mar-17 18:01:48

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

VelvetSpoon Fri 17-Mar-17 18:04:08

He finished school last year. He has a zero hours temp job but gets very few shifts. He is supposed to be looking for other work during the day, not being asleep from 3pm.

miniatureegg Fri 17-Mar-17 18:05:29

I wold take it off him for a lot longer than 2 weeks

squeak10 Fri 17-Mar-17 18:07:42

Have you posted about this before? When ds didnt turn up to get you as he was dropping friends off

VelvetSpoon Fri 17-Mar-17 18:08:54

I'm actually as cross with DS2, for blatantly lying to me and then switching his phone off and leaving me standing out in the cold for half an hour. If DS1 hadn't called me I'd still be there now sad

ClemDanfango Fri 17-Mar-17 18:10:47

Take away access completely until he can show a bit of consideration and appreciation!

SugarMiceInTheRain Fri 17-Mar-17 18:11:06

yanbu at all to refuse him access to the car for some time. It's a privilege, not a right. Hope you warm up soon.

youarenotkiddingme Fri 17-Mar-17 18:11:10

Yes take privileges away from them both. If they want them they need to learn to earn them h treating you with respect.

Wando1986 Fri 17-Mar-17 18:12:14

DS2 would get a mouthful too. The horrible git. Who does that to their Mum?!

VelvetSpoon Fri 17-Mar-17 18:24:37

He's been late to the station a few times but never not turned up at all. The last time he was late I stopped him using the car for a few,days and that seemed to improve things - until today!

Am almost home now, nearly an hour later than I should have been.

ClemDanfango Fri 17-Mar-17 18:39:29

I'd be livid OP they've basically left you stranded there and not really given two shits about it. Awful thing to do to your mum.

PatMullins Fri 17-Mar-17 18:44:55

That's really unkind of them sad

Topseyt Fri 17-Mar-17 18:50:47

I wouldn't let him use the car again. I would remove him from the insurance permanently and if he wanted access to a car then he would have to save for his own.

That way he might learn a bit of respect.

Toobloodytired Fri 17-Mar-17 18:50:50

I'd leave him without use of the car for one month minimum!

Sounds cruel but if he ever asks for a lift, say yes & then don't turn up!

Two wrongs don't make a right but it makes you even!

I'm childish like that lol

FrancisCrawford Fri 17-Mar-17 19:49:09

That was really mean of him.

If he can't be bothered to make you a priority then car privileges are removed until he demonstrates considerate behaviour.

And as he's not working full time, that would mean doing the vast majority of the housework, making sure tea is ready for when you come in etc.

VelvetSpoon Sat 18-Mar-17 10:43:11

He does some housework, and will cook for himself and DS2 if I'm home late, but along the something on toast/ pizza or similar line only.

I do feel really quite hurt. DS1 was thoughtless and lazy, but DS2 was actually quite cruel, which is very unlike him. He says that he was still trying to wake DS1 when I called, but apparently didn't think that I was waiting in the cold. Still not happy with either of them.

FrancisCrawford Sat 18-Mar-17 11:18:39

You have every right to feel hurt

Why is DS1 doing so little to help?

VelvetSpoon Sat 18-Mar-17 11:23:29

In terms of housework you mean? Well, he does what I ask him to. Possibly I'm at fault for not asking/ insisting he does more. I was expecting him to be working more by now, so I didn't want to get reliant ln him doing loads...

Chloe84 Sat 18-Mar-17 11:56:54

They are both out of order.

Definitely withdraw use of car for an extended period of time.

And DS2 should face a consequences too. How old is he? The lack of empathy here is worrying.

Family should help eachother.

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