AIBU that this isn't sitting right with me? (School related)

[upsidedownfrown]

Just need some perspective. Be gentle. Long time lurker, very rarely post but a situation at my daughters school today has made me feel uneasy. Im not sure if it's just me being awkward though!

My daughter is 7, in y3. She has teacher cover her class every Thursday so her main teacher has a day of planning time. This is the same across all years. I also work in the school in a support role.

Dd had a literacy lesson which was to write a certain amount of words, creative writing, with a picture on the board as inspiration. It was star wars, so she had no clue what to write and only wrote about 2 lines. Fair enough, not great. So at lunchtime she found me and said that her teacher said she had to go straight in for lunch (the years take it in turns so it wasn't y3 turn yet) and then report to a y5 classroom to go finish her work. She was a bit upset as generally literacy is her stronger subject but I told her no, I wasn't going to question it. She didn't do her work and she needed to do it as her teacher said. So she ate her packed lunch and off she went. A bit teary eyed but still, she went. She came to find me again to let me know she had finished. This was 15mins before end of lunch. Not much time to play but that's not what im annoyed about.

At end of the day, I popped in to classroom to check... had she been messing about, faffing? To which he just said well she barely wrote anything so yeah, faffing.

Fine. I wanted to check so she couldn't spin me a story about other ppl distracting her etc.

I talked to her about it once home, just to say that if she wasnt sure about work etc she should ask teacher and I'm glad he helped her to finish it.

But oh no mummy, he didnt help! He brought the book to the classroom and left. He didn't check in on her, nobody did. I doubt he told a mta as she knows them all and says she didnt see anyone. If the fire alarm had gone, she wouldn't have known what to do as it was a classroom in a different block. Nobody would have known she was there. Or if she was doing her usual swinging on front legs of chair and slipped and whacked her head. Nobody would know.

I know thats worst case scenario but still. It just doesn't sit right with me that a teacher would leave a child inside at lunchtime with no supervision.

The other thing that has irritated me but not end of the world is that she fell in the morning and her knee was a bit bloody, he said he couldn't do anything about it right then (even though there's a fully stocked 1st aid kit in a shed on that playground) and that she'd have to wait till they were inside to get a plaster from the mini classroom kit. They went in, there wasn't any plasters left there, so he said he couldn't do anything about it cos they had to go to assembly. She finally got her knee cleaned and a plaster put on at breaktime an hour after she fell. So she's all sad and emotional this afternoon.

Am I just being a bit precious? She's not my only child, I have an older and a younger child (if that's relevant at all)

[RebelRogue]

I don't think you are. Especially on working alone and in a different classroom,exactly for the reasons you mentioned. That would be my main issue.

[Witchend]

If you're genuinely concerned about her not knowing what to do in a fire alarm at 7yo if there's not an adult around then you need to talk to her about that. Most 7yos will understand that if the fire bell goes off they get out and go to the normal registration place.

It's certainly possible that although he left her in that classroom he was in the next one/within shouting distance and was glancing in at her from time to time without her noticing.
I'd have preferred at any age to be left alone to finish it without a teacher having an eye over me. It's easier to do it when you don't feel you're being watched.

And I'm not sure why you expected him to be sitting down helping her. She didn't do it because she was, in your words, faffing around. Not that she'd said she was stuck/couldn't do it. So she didn't need help, just time to finish it, then he doesn't need to sit with her and help.

[lavenderandrose]

I wouldn't have a clue what to write if given a Star Wars prompt! Bit draconian to make her lose her lunch over it.

[upsidedownfrown]

Witchend she doesn't know where to go during fire alarm as its a completely different building. Its a very large school. She knows full well what to do in the building that her room is in.

[upsidedownfrown]

Oh and I wasn't expecting him to help her. I was trying to make it sound all positive and lighthearted for her. As in 'well isnt it great that he's helped you to sort out the work' as she was upset thinking he was mean and it's never helpful when a child views their teacher negatively

[Hillarious]

The fact that it was a Star Wars picture is irrelevant. It was just a picture to write about.

[RebelRogue]

Tbh if i was missing lunch doing work anyways,i would not do it in a separate classroom anyways. I'd keep the child with me to 1.ensure they are doing the work,2.offer assistance if needed 3.supervise for safety reasons.

[marajade48]

YANBU - a 7 year old shouldn't be expected to look after themselves. School have a duty of care, and the reasons you've listed are exactly why this seems like a very bad idea indeed! You very clearly supported the decision to have her finish work and she accepted that those were the consequences of her not doing work, so I think the reason for her being in at lunchtime is irrelevant to whether you're being unreasonable or not. What's definitely not ok is leaving a child alone for an indeterminate amount of time - did she have to go find this member of staff when she had finished, or did she just leave the classroom? It doesn't sound safe and you're being totally reasonable with it not sitting right with you.

Would you be able to find out if your daughter's interpretation of events is totally correct? For example, as a previous poster said, could she have not noticed someone popping their head round. D the door?

[Littlepiglittlepig3letmeIN]

And I'm not sure why you expected him to be sitting down helping her.

Yes.
It was his break time as well.
Anyway, he was probably in the next room keeping an eye.
One final point. At her age she should know what to do during a fire alarm.

[upsidedownfrown]

She says she didnt have to find him when she was.finished..she just left and made her way through the grounds back to the y3 & 4 area. She left the book in that classroom. I'll try asking if someone was checking on her! If they sense my annoyance I'm pretty sure they'll say of course she was supervised!

You're right, I was totally in favour of her finishing her work. Just not being left unsupervised to do it!.I reckon he was in the staff room which is at the end of the corridor. We have 4 staff rooms and he always seems to favour that one as it has a dishwasher!

[upsidedownfrown]

Littlepig see previous post. Shes not familiar with that building in case of fire alarm, I was not expecting him to help her. I was trying out a bit of positivity. Already explained that

[RebelRogue]

At her age she should know what to do during a fire alarm.


There are full grown people that when a real fire alarm goes they panic and they freeze or completely forget what to do anymore and that's without the slightly unfamiliar setting.

[scottishdiem]

I am 40 and I have been in buildings that are very complicated when it comes to fire escapes (they eventually got floor lighting put in after a big failure of a test evacuation in front of fire inspector types). At age 7, in a place they have never been before, then I can see the problem. Fire alarm means leave, it doesnt mean you know where the doors are.

I suspect he was in a nearby staff room.

I am not a teacher and my experience of school was if you were called in at lunch time it was a punishment to stop you playing and maybe even to do lines. If I was struggling with work teachers decided to teach me, not abandon me in an empty classroom to see if that would magically make me able to do the work. It was a cover teacher, so how did he know that she was faffing for faffings sake as opposed to faffing because she didnt understand the work?

[pennypeony]

Seven year olds are not expected to get themselves together for a fire alarm!
It would go against all health and safety!

[smilingsarahb]

I'd be concerned enough to ask who was supervising daughter but wouldn't be surprised to find teacher was in next room with door open. Since she managed to find her way out when dine, it looks like shed have found a way out in a fire.

[pennypeony]

Good job Ofsted weren't on a little visit that day!

[diddl]

Her teacher knew where she was though?

Did she ask for any help/guidance in the lesson at all?

[pennypeony]

"Find her way out"
Seriously?
The adults are managed out
When did seven become so wise

[IamFriedSpam]

Students should never lose their lunch break, that time to let off steam is incredibly important for their mental and physical health and also affects their concentration for the rest of the day. Seems ridiculous to have star wars as the prompt lots of kids won't know anything about star wars!

[Notso]

Nobody would have known she was there.
The teacher knew she was there though.

[Lowdoorinthewal1]

Yes, somebody needed to know where she was and an adult needed to be in the vicinity, but you don't know that wasn't the case.

I really don't think she should be coming to find you during the day to tell you anything. She wanted you to question/overturn the teacher's decision? In your position I would have a word with her about how inappropriate that is.

[FiveMinutesAlone]

Since she managed to find her way out when dine, it looks like shed have found a way out in a fire.

I wouldn't be so sure of that personally.
I had a colleague who had to evacuate a building when there was a real fire. He said it was terrifying, he was in an unfamiliar building and didn't know where the exits were, he couldn't see where he was going properly because of the smoke - which also made it harder for him to breathe properly - and he was blindly following someone who seemed to know where they were going. Luckily the person he was following went to a fire exit.

Finding an exit in a fire is a very different scenario to finding an exit when everything in a building is as it should be. It's easy for grown adults to panic in a fire scenario, let alone a 7 yr old child.

[Boiing]

Yanbu, the guy sounds like a dick. If he didn't have time to supervise her properly then he should have chosen a different punishment. And Star Wars was a really stupid (and somewhat sexist) theme. It's all very well saying she could have asked him for support in the lesson, but if he was giving off a 'don't bother me' vibe then I think most 7 year old girls would be intimidated and freeze up as your daughter clearly did. She wasn't sitting there not writing for fun, was she? There was a reason she didn't complete the work and based on his failure to chose appropriate work / look after her knee / supervise her, I'm inclined to assume she felt he was unapproachable in the lesson. And Lowdoor a child that feels vulnerable and uncertain will always seek out its parent if they're accessible and they have a healthy relationship. Telling her off for seeking reassurance from her mum would be pretty fucked up parenting.

[upsidedownfrown]

Yep she comes to find me most days for a quick hello. She wasn't asking me to overturn the teachers decision. I think I worded that badly. She came and told me she was having to go finish her work and started on the 'but I didn't mean to not finish! Shall I tell you why I didn't get it done ?' So I told her that no, I didnt want to be asking lots of questions about it..if a teacher told her to do something, she should be doing it. She knows I wont get involved during work

[Lowdoorinthewal1]

Telling her off for seeking reassurance from her mum would be pretty fucked up parenting.

No, it is not the same when her mum is at work. During school hours the DD should seek support from whichever adult she would go to for reassurance if her mum did not work at the school.