I work full time and have a partner who has ocassional depressive episodes; which means I basically the backbone of my family (we have two DCs) we both work full time but partner does need lots of support.
My oldest DC has a group of friends at schoool, they are in year 3. Anyway for the last 2.5 years my DC has been coming home on ocassion crying or upset. It takes us a while but my DC is always mentioning how this other child is constantly critical of my DC. Anyway I constantly tell DC that if they don't like this child then don't play with them. However this child appointed themselves the head of the group and it came to head a few weeks ago when my DC came home with a printed letter that had been written by this other 8 year old outlining the rules of their group - which included not letting anyone else into the group. My DC got very upset when I found it. Anyway I sent the mother of the child who wrote this letter (all done with bullet points on a computer - by a 7 year old) asking her how it got my DC's bag and that obviously other memebers of the group had similiar letters. I did admire this child but I thought the mum might just say 'is your child okay' sorry to have upset etc etc. So I ended up running the letter past two child pyschologists I know - both said if the mother isn't bothered send the letter to the school. I rung up the school and said 'please tell me if I'm being an overly concerned parent but this letter came home in my child's bag etc etc. Deputy head calls me back and says I'm right to be concerned. However all the other three mums think we should talked it all out before I went to the school. But I had a lot on - cousin died, appeal battle at work, and then partner having an episode. Plus these mums are not that friendly to me, I've tried with them but there are other mums at the school I get on with better; but then I don't think their DC would have put a letter like that in my child's bag. I'm feeling really guilty as I don't want to de-friend school mums but my DC was not happy in this gang; and has been better in the last two weeks. The experts I spoke to said the letter could have been the start of bullying. I was bullied at school so I don't want my daughter to go through the same when mine could have been stopped early on.
Anyway feeling mother's guilt and so upset... but I don't know what else I could ahve done. These mums felt that the children could have sorted it out amongst themselves; however this gang thing has got out of control and I have said to the other mums - before this happened - we shouldn't be encouraging them to be so cliquey. I'm going to blasted now - please be gentle I'm actually crying here...
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AIBU?
To really not want to deal with other school mums... (crying not happy - just want an easier life)
31 replies
Gotbills2pay · 16/03/2017 14:17
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