I've just walked out!!

[girlingrey]

This probably shouldn't be in AIBU as I think I probably am anyway. Just need a vent! I've just had a slight argument with OH and walked out and driven off. Nothing major, have 3 kids in the house, crap everywhere from lunchtime, piles of washing to do and general tidying up. The kids messing around and I'm trying to make a start on cleaning. OH only goes and starts cleaning his fish tank. Took all the filters out covered in fish crap and puts them in the sink with all the dirty plates. turns the tap on and the water splashes over the CLEAN plates that were on the draining board. Then goes back to his fish tank to get more parts to clean, dripping fish water all over the floor each time. Then tells me his mum is coming round for a 'coffee' it's never just a coffee. it'll always turns in to 3 hours of listening to her talk and I'm expected to sit and chat when I have 3 kids to sort out and a house to clean. all before taking them out to a party at 2:30. So, after realising that sitting on my still unmade bed upstairs isn't a good hiding place, I got my car keys and left. so now I'm sat in my car outside a random house 2 streets away from my house and don't know what to do next!

[sonjadog]

Go and have a coffee somewhere.

[PizzaPower]

Find a coffee shop, give it a few hours before heading home.

[Chottie]

Go home and sort this out with your OH. Prioritise what needs doing and work together as a team. Then take the children to the party and leave OH at home chatting with DMiL and go for a coffee on your own :)

[woundedbutwalking]

Sounds fair enough to me!! Got your purse? Can you go for a coffee somewhere & hide out til MIL is gone? DH was totally inconsiderate & hopefully some time on his own with the kids will bring that home to him! Enjoy some time on your own & go back in a good mood xx

[booellesmum]

Feeling your pain as I have been there and done that.
Text to say you just need a breather.
Then go and have some me time in Costa with coffee and cake.
The mess will probably still be there when you go back so I would go back with a calm voice and delegate jobs to everyone.
Good luck.

[Flisstizzy]

Yes to getting a coffee, and make sure you get some cake & a magazine to go with it. Give yourself a break for an hour.

[viques]

Coffee shop? friend with cake? Window shopping? Library? Wander around a garden centre? Nail bar?

[ChuckDaffodils]

Go home well after the MIL will have left. A film you might want to see perhaps? A nice cafe and an early tea. Then head back and tell him to get a fucking grip you are not the house elf.

[viques]

Sorry, meant to say have a lovely few hours. Hope you go home to clean house, supper started, MiL departed and repentant OH. An optimist me! At least the fish tank will be clean.......

[blueskyinmarch]

Take a deep breath, go back and get your DC ready for the party. Tell your DH that he needs to sort the house out before his DM arrives then don’t return until teatime. If the house is still a shit tip then, leave him with the DC and go get coffee/dinner somewhere. Sometimes you just need some alone time.

[ChasedByBees]

Are you going to take them to the party or tell your DH to do it? I would take some time out. Sounds like you need it.

[Dementedswan]

I've been tempted to do this many times.

But what about the kids party? Will your dh take them? I'd feel guilty about them missing out if they are young.

Take them to the party and tell your dh to sort the house while you are out. Text mil to say sorry you are out but dh will be in for coffee as he's got lots of housework to do.

[Crunchymum]

I guess you're going to have to bite the bullet and go back because of party?

Unless DH is able to get them there instead? In which case text him and tell him that's the new plan

[girlingrey]

I've just sent a text asking if the kids are ready to leave. thanks for all these suggestions of coffee, I don't actually drink although now think I should start as it seems everyone turns to it in an hour of stress ha! ...I'll wait til the kids are in bed and take a bottle glass of wine in the bath with me xx

[girlingrey]

I would feel so guilty if they missed the party, I'm going to go and get them and take them myself. I feel so silly now

[Pollyanna9]

Sounds like a plan Girlingrey. You know, why do we always have to be the ones to pick up the pieces, and take responsibility, and make sure the kids get to the party! Why can't he do it FGS!

Christ, they're men! Capable, manly men - why can't they bloody well do it!!! It's just getting kids to a party yee gods.

I wouldn't want fish tank sludge on my clean crockery. YUCK.

[AnnieAnoniMouse]

Text him...

'Kid/s due at party at 2:30 @ this address, present 'in x spot'. The kid/s can/can't be left there, (if he can leave them, arrange who is collecting them). I am fed up & absolutely fuming. I am too angry to talk about it right now. I'll be home about x o'clock. We can talk later'.

[girlingrey]

I've called him, MIL still there. I just asked him to get the kids shoes on and I'll be outside in 5 mins to pick them up for the party. not a clue if he is planning on coming with us! Maybe MIL will clean my house whilst we are out...or is that wishful thinking

[AnnieAnoniMouse]

Please, don't feel silly.

He needs to THINK. He needs to show some common bloody sense.

You have 3 kids. House needs cleaning. Kids need to get to a party. His mother is, unbeknown to you, coming around, and he starts cleaning the fucking fish tank? Right over the DISHES?? He's supposed to be an adult. A father. He'd be under my fucking patio.

[Jux]

Not silly at all. If he wants to do some cleaning he does the house first, or sorts the children out. Once all the household and child stuff is done then he can sort out his fish. If he's done house cleaning he might be ss careless about how he does the fish, and if he's pulled his weight with chores and children, you might have the energy to help with the fish.

[viques]

why are you feeling silly? you took yourself off because you had been pushed to the limit. What else could you have done, had a shouting match, burst into tears, flushed the damn fish down the toilet? any of which would have upset your children far more than mum driving off for a bit.

the silly thing is that your protest only lasted 20 minutes! When you pick the kids up to take them to the party take your purse with you and don't plan on returning home until the party is over. you deserve a bit of down time.

[BastardBloodAndSand]

I'm.starting to wonder if dp is having an affair, this is exactly the sort of twat bollocks he pulls.

If he's short, portly and snores like an angry pig you can keep the bugger and the mil !!

[FruminariaBandersnatchiosum]

He'd be under my fucking patio