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8yr old too young for shaving

(46 Posts)
Pagen Wed 01-Feb-17 17:46:25

I'm posting this on behalf of a friend. Her 8yr old daughter, like her mum, is dark-haired and has started complaining and becoming very body concious of the dark hair on her legs. Her mum has talked it through with her but the other day found a rim of hairs in the bath. She spoke to her daughter who admitted that she had used her mums razor and shaved her own legs.
Obviously my friend is concerned and upset that her daughter not only has used her razor which is kept up on a high shelf and the children know it's not to be touched, but that she has felt she had to do this at all.
She asked for my advice but I'm totally stumped, obviously she's too young to be shaving but this is a very real problem for this little girl and it can't just be ignored.
I've seen other threads on here about this but not with a child this young. I suggested we post this and ask for advice as to what other mums would do in my friends position.

pipsqueak25 Wed 01-Feb-17 17:48:12

i wouldn't be shaving for a start, speak to gp about this as will become a bigger problem if not sorted out.

user892 Wed 01-Feb-17 17:48:57

I would find a safer way of hair removal for her, as she's blatantly going to find the razors anyway.

I'll never forgive my mother for continually hiding tweezers from me when I wanted to sort out my monobrow when I was 12+

JennyOnAPlate Wed 01-Feb-17 17:50:05

Speak to the GP? Really??

If she's bothered by the hair she should be allowed to remove it imo. Hair removal cream might be a better way of doing it.

IateallthePies654 Wed 01-Feb-17 17:50:05

I am a very hairy woman and was a very hairy child. I cannot tell you how much this distressed me but my mum thought I was too young to shave and I should just love the hair. I tried, I couldn't, it was awful.

Tell her friend to buy her some hair removal cream and help her out.

user892 Wed 01-Feb-17 17:50:35

It'd be lovely if her girl felt body confident and didn't care - but most females rid ourselves of body hair, don't we? It's hypocritical not to support our daughters in their choices.

EmeraldIsland Wed 01-Feb-17 17:50:56

speak to gp about this as will become a bigger problem if not sorted out

What kind of bigger problem? Don't understand that at all hmm

user892 Wed 01-Feb-17 17:52:34

I also remember other peoples' stares of silent shock at my hairy 9 year old legs! Mortificado.

CherieBabySpliffUp Wed 01-Feb-17 17:53:09

I wouldn't go with removal cream as children's skin is more delicate isn't it?
Maybe an electric razor?

melonribena Wed 01-Feb-17 17:54:46

When I was young I had a kind of sandpaper thing that got rid of hair then an electric razor. I agree she should be supported

MissMogwi Wed 01-Feb-17 17:55:20

If the hair is bothering her then it doesn't matter how old she is.

I can understand her mum worrying about the razor, so why not use a sensitive removal cream and do it for her or shave her legs for her.

Astoria7974 Wed 01-Feb-17 17:56:35

The usual white/south-east asian rules about shaving don't apply to black or middle-eastern/Indian children. She needs to buy her daughter an electric shaver and teach her how to use it properly. My neice started getting her eyebrows threaded at six - had to otherwise they would have covered half her face. My dsd is 8 and has just started to shave her arms and legs as the hair grew black and wirey overnight.

deblet Wed 01-Feb-17 17:56:37

I was told by my doctor to use nair sensitive removal cream for my daughter at 10. We have never had any problems and she is happy.

pipsqueak25 Wed 01-Feb-17 17:56:56

i would speak to the gp first emerald for advice, i would not use hair removal cream on a young child without professional advice first !
there might be a hormonal reason as to why there is such a hair problem, she's a child of 8, and it could become a problem because it might lead to dd becoming worried and anxious as she gets older, other kids noticing and possible teasing.

pipsqueak25 Wed 01-Feb-17 17:58:35

deb that's great news, and you're sorted as a result. but it might not be the same outcome for poster, not all skin is the same, hence i suggested the gp.

Ilovecaindingle Wed 01-Feb-17 18:02:09

It's hair. . She doesn't like it. Get rid =happy kid. . Job done!!

deblet Wed 01-Feb-17 18:02:22

Yes my beautician advised us to use it as well but we checked with GP. She was very kind actually I felt guilty for wasting an appointment but she was lovely as she could see it upset dd.

TheProblemOfSusan Wed 01-Feb-17 18:09:12

This is tricky - if it's distressing her you want to deal with the distress, obviously but yet not leave her feeling she has to remove hair.

I wonder if a really nice long chat about her feelings about the hair, with her mum trying not to say "no removal for you" but also not "all older women do though hair is bad" and just listen. And make she she knows she can let it all grow back if she likes. Then if it's clear that she still really does want the hair gone I think perhaps a beautician's advice is in order - 8 seems very young for using anything like a razor.

Tbh she probably goes swimming, wears no tights etc far more than I would so whereas grown woman me just says "Meh" and hides it if I cba to shave, she's more on view.

TheProblemOfSusan Wed 01-Feb-17 18:10:31

Which is obviously not to say she should remove hair, it's not necessary at all - except that she wants to and is upset so I might be inclined to let her. Oh this is difficult. I really feel for everyone here.

Katy07 Wed 01-Feb-17 18:13:54

Given how bitchy girls can be to each other when they're growing up I'd say let her (though creams or epilator might be better) so she doesn't get any crap at school.

PebbleInTheMoonlight Wed 01-Feb-17 18:19:12

I agree the little girl should be allowed to remove the hair and her mother should be finding the best way with her.

I still haven't forgiven my mother for not allowing me to get rid of hairs on my legs. I was bullied mercilessly for it and ended up taking huge chunks out of my legs with my father's bic razor.

If she'd just talked to me about it and helped me find a solution I was happy with it could all have been easier.

Ironically as an adult I really couldn't care less about leg hair but as a child I didn't have the confidence to death stare anyone who though my body hair was their business.

allowlsthinkalot Wed 01-Feb-17 18:19:57

I'm not sure.

I was about this age when my Grannie shaved my legs although I wasn't conscious of being hairy yet. The problem was other girls' mums thinking I was too old for my years or not a very nice girl because it was inappropriate to shave so young.

But equally my friend's mum insisted she had to be sixteen to shave and she was mortified by her hairy legs.

Not sure what I'll do when my dd wants to remove her body hair but guess that if she's very distressed by it I'd let her remove it.

Strongmummy Wed 01-Feb-17 18:21:57

How can her mother tell her not to remove the hair when she removes her own hair? I don't think she can be hypocritical. I'd say a large majority of women remove hair (myself included) so also can't say "love your fur". I'd therefore suggest teaching her to remove it in the safest, most effective way possible. Probably hair removal cream

Katy07 Wed 01-Feb-17 18:23:09

My mum was crap at anything like this and impossible to approach & talk to so it always amazes me when I read about mums who have such good (or maybe just normal?) relationships with their daughters / daughters with their mums.

(As a total aside - will your friend be having a chat with her daughter about rinsing the bath round after hair removal? The thought of the rim of hairs is really bothering me blush)

MycatsaPirate Wed 01-Feb-17 18:29:56

My DD is 11 and is very dark haired. I have been shaving her legs for her since she was 9 as she was very self-conscious. I also showed her how to safely shave under her arms. She's now able to do it all herself but I would never have said she couldn't do it. I remember feeling awful about body hair when I was that age.

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