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to want police and medical professionals to refer to my rape as rape and not sexual assault?

(45 Posts)
myoriginal3 Sat 14-Jan-17 13:16:18

Aren't they two different things?

myoriginal3 Sat 14-Jan-17 13:17:41

I was raped. Raped. Yes, raped.

Don't call it something else. All of you. angry

myoriginal3 Sat 14-Jan-17 13:19:37

I wouldn't even mind if they referred to my 'alleged rape'.

Bastards.

Sorry. Having a wobble at the moment.

MrsSpenserGregson Sat 14-Jan-17 13:19:48

I think "sexual assault" is the umbrella term, and rape is one specific type of sexual assault.

I'm so sorry you were raped myoriginal3

YANBU by the way!

myoriginal3 Sat 14-Jan-17 13:21:38

I don't care for their umbrella term.

But thanks for replying. smile

shinynewusername Sat 14-Jan-17 13:22:20

flowers You are allowed to have a wobble.

But I think they might be doing it with good intentions, thinking it will be less distressing for you. I'm sure they will say 'rape' if you tell them that is your preference.

Fruitcocktail6 Sat 14-Jan-17 13:22:56

YANBU, rape is rape and should be referred to as such. i am very sorry that happened to you flowers

BraveDancing Sat 14-Jan-17 13:23:56

I'm so sorry this happened to you. It's probably a term they are taught to use and maybe some other people prefer it, but you should definitely say you prefer that it is called 'rape' and they should listen to you.

RochelleGoyle Sat 14-Jan-17 13:24:13

I can imagine it feels like they are minimising what happened to you but it's possible they are trying to use language they believe is sensitive. I can understand your anger entirely though. YANBU, you are entitled to wobble as much as you need to.

DJBaggySmalls Sat 14-Jan-17 13:26:48

YANBU, its your choice. flowers
I expect the word 'rape' isnt used as it upsets people.

myoriginal3 Sat 14-Jan-17 13:27:24

I think I will tell them to use the word rape in future. I had to go through it, I have to use the word, they can at least acknowledge what happened. angry

AristotlesTrousers Sat 14-Jan-17 13:29:55

YANBU. It's your body, your experience, your recovery - therefore your call as far as I'm concerned! flowers

WorraLiberty Sat 14-Jan-17 13:35:29

I agree with Rochelle, they probably believe it to be more sensitive.

Yes, do tell them your preference, OP.

ConvincingLiar Sat 14-Jan-17 13:37:05

I don't think it's intended to trivialise it, sexual assault is serious. If you take the lead, they might stop skirting around it.

lollylou2876 Sat 14-Jan-17 13:39:48

Yanbu - but the officers see and hear horrific pics, videos, etc every day. So I wouldn't take it personally or offensively.

I was the same during my court case for historic abuse, and u asked how she did it eve day and went home to her kids, she said they are taught techniques to deal with it, as it is imperative that the officers remain unbiased.

I was interviewed by an officer in the room, and other was watching the video, who was new, he came out of the room in tears at the end, and went back to his original department as he could not deal it.

So whilst my heart and prayers go out to you, please spare a moment for the officers that work tirelessly, and risk their own mental health everyday to help get these vile people off our streets.

tramstray Sat 14-Jan-17 13:47:54

Rape is a form of sexual assault, so technically the police are correct. Rape is the act of putting one's penis into another person's vagina, anus or mouth without consent to do so. Sexual assault comprises of a whole catalogue of offences, of which rape is but one.

It might be that they have your best interests at heart and don't realise that you would prefer to have been raped than "just" sexually assaulted. "Rape" is a much more emotive term and some victims find it hard to use the word themselves, at least in the immediate aftermath. Professionals sometimes are scared to use the term for fear of causing the victim further distress.

Tell them you want them to use the term "rape" in future, and if they persist in refusing to, ask them to explain the reasons why.

Elendon Sat 14-Jan-17 13:49:40

Off the streets

Most vile people rape within the safety of their own homes. Rape is rape. I agree with you myoriginal3 flowers

WyfOfBathe Sat 14-Jan-17 13:55:46

YANBU to want them to call it "rape". but yabu to expect them to instinctively know what you want them to do. I expect that for every person like you who wants it to be called rape, there's another victim who wants it to be called sexual assault.

Sorry for what you went through flowers

lollylou2876 Sat 14-Jan-17 14:16:41

Eldon- please don't lecture me I was raped as I child I'm my own home for 11 years so I think I more than understand the Point thank you regardless of my terrible grammar and spelling, which yes I am also aware of

lollylou2876 Sat 14-Jan-17 14:22:00

And after a 5 year police and court case, regularly involved with the very officers, who work in this area, I was offering the other side of the story.

My abuser got 20 years, the police are severely underfunded and overworked trying to deal with the sheer scale of Sexual crimes in this country.

whyohwhy000 Sat 14-Jan-17 14:23:23

Sexual assault is a much broader term. The law defines rape very specifically. From the Sexual Offences Act 2003:

"1 Rape
(1) A person (A) commits an offence if—
(a) he intentionally penetrates the vagina, anus or mouth of another person
(B) with his penis,
(b) B does not consent to the penetration, and
(c) A does not reasonably believe that B consents."

"2 Assault by penetration
(1) A person (A) commits an offence if—
(a) he intentionally penetrates the vagina or anus of another person (B)
with a part of his body or anything else,
(b) the penetration is sexual,
(c) B does not consent to the penetration, and
(d) A does not reasonably believe that B consents"

"3 Sexual assault
(1) A person (A) commits an offence if—
(a) he intentionally touches another person (B),
(b) the touching is sexual,
(c) B does not consent to the touching, and
(d) A does not reasonably believe that B consents"

Are they using "sexual assault" on legal documents or just when speaking to you?

Snoopysimaginaryfriend Sat 14-Jan-17 14:27:41

myoriginal3 just explain it to the officers next time it happens. They will not be doing it to offend you.

I'm a police officer. Police officers and lawyers often use the umbrella terms 'sexual assault' and 'serious sexual assault' as the the offences are set out in the sexual offences act 2003.

I was also taught when I was on emergency response team that you should never use the word 'rape' over the radio as your colleagues on the same channel will be at other venues dealing with other calls and members of the public will hear what is said if they are in earshot.

Elendon Sat 14-Jan-17 15:34:14

lolly I wasn't lecturing you nor correcting your grammar.

stopfuckingshoutingatme Sat 14-Jan-17 15:37:29

I am so so so sorry this happened

Remember they are just doing their jobs and using a legal term - they know it's rape

I also think they see and handle such harrowing stuff every.single.day so they know - they do flowers

Often when something awful occurs it's a minor thing that can tip us over the edge

SpartacusWoman Sat 14-Jan-17 15:49:26

I'm so sorry for what you went through flowers

Im probably clutching at straws but the onmy scenario I can if it being used was if your attacker female? Under UK law it would be sexual assault they'd be charged with, so would be the term they used. Even then it's still not ok in my opinion.

Again, I'm so sorry you were raped, flowers

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