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AIBU?

Kids party on my birthday

50 replies

Oofimanoeuf · 09/01/2017 19:42

More of a wwyd but hoping some of you here remember my thread about legoland and ds birthday and him not making friends.
Turns out he's made a couple of friends!!
He got his first invite to a birthday party today and I was so excited. Then I read the date... it's on my birthday and DH has booked a hotel and DM has agreed to take DS for the weekend whilst we do a few bits with friends and have a nice romantic weekend together.
Book in for the hotel is meant to be 12pm on my actual birthday (it is flexible and can be pushed back). The kids party is at 11am-1pm. DM lives 1:30 mins away from us and (not sure about the hotel distance as this was meant to be a surprise).
I've asked if DM can pick ds up but DF's car is a bit dodgy classic and it's a big risk asking it to do such a long journey.
DH says he'd like to not be too late at the hotel as the facilities won't be open all day and he's paid for something that we need to be able to do at some point that day.
I'm very excited and grateful for my birthday treat but I also want DS to go to his friends birthday party. Wwyd? Aibu to say he can go for the first hour, take him to dm's and then go to the hotel? I feel like my other option would be to organise a play date with the kid on another date and give the kid a present and card then?

OP posts:

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Squiff85 · 09/01/2017 19:44

I'd take child to the party and maybe say you need to go at 12 (so he gets an hour) then take to DM then to hotel. Everyone wins

Oofimanoeuf · 09/01/2017 19:49

That would be my choice but DH and Dm seem a bit miffed that I'm changing the plans they have organised. I am grateful but anyone who read my post before knows how much I want ds to not struggle socially. I'd happily do the driving and could probably get to the hotel for about half two or three depending on where it actually is.

OP posts:

PippaFawcett · 09/01/2017 19:51

Could you change the date of your weekend away? Or would you lose the money? Actual dates don't bother me though.

stopfuckingshoutingatme · 09/01/2017 19:51

It's a no brainer ! Take
Him to party then leave later surely ??

HecateAntaia · 09/01/2017 19:52

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

allowlsthinkalot · 09/01/2017 19:52

I'd take him to the party. Is there any way you can change your booking with the hotel?

bumsexatthebingo · 09/01/2017 20:13

I wouldn't leave early if it's a playcentre type thing. They tend to pay for an hour then serve food so the parent might be a bit pee'd off if they have paid for a meal that's wasted.

Leeds2 · 09/01/2017 20:17

I would take DS to the party, then straight on to DM's and then the hotel. It really doesn't matter if you don't check in on the dot of 12. and you will have from, say, 3 on Saturday and all day Sunday to enjoy the hotel's facilities.

LittleReindeerwithcloggson · 09/01/2017 20:20

If I invited someone to a pay-per-child party and they left early I probably wouldn't invite them again. I would go the party for the entire time and arrive at the hotel later if it was me as would really want my child to attend the party

wonderingsoul · 09/01/2017 20:23

May get a bashing for this. But id thank the host but say your pre booked but could you take out birthday boy for a small trip to the park or cinema the day before or close?

Isnthere a frined who could drop him off?

DonaldStott · 09/01/2017 20:28

Ah I would definitely take ds the party. Surely your dh must know how anxious you have been about your son making friends. So what if you're a couple of hours late to the hotel. 'At some point' is hardly giving you anything to go on.

PlinkPlonkPlunk · 09/01/2017 20:29

I agree with wondering; if it's going to be really awkward to rearrange things, I'd suggest inviting birthday boy round for a play date and giving him his present etc then.

TheColourIsZebra · 09/01/2017 20:30

Hmmm I think I'd be giving the party a miss. There will be other parties and you've already got plans.

seven201 · 09/01/2017 20:31

I agree with the trying to change the date of your weekend away or letting him go for a bit.

cariadlet · 09/01/2017 20:41

Usually, I'd say turn down a party invitation if it clashes with something special that is pre-booked.

But your ds has struggled to make friends and this is his first invitation. Your DH and DM should understand how important it is.

Take him to the party (have overnight bags etc in the car), drive straight from party to your DM's and then to the hotel.

Your DH is bound to be disappointed, but he is an adult and needs to behave like one. You showed your appreciation of the birthday treat when you were told about it so he knows how much you liked the idea and valued your time together. So what if you miss a few hours of it? This party is really important for your DS and you and your DH will still have plenty of time on your own together.

Oofimanoeuf · 10/01/2017 08:21

Thanks everyone. I can't change the booking as I can't get any other time off work. I am still a bit torn about whether or not to say it's clashed or just take him. I don't have anyone nearby who can pick ds up either and take him to DMs. At the moment it is either me or no party at all. It feels a bit unfair if I'm honest.

OP posts:

halcyondays · 10/01/2017 08:29

I'd take him to the party for the whole time and just go to the hotel straight afterwards.

Petalbird · 10/01/2017 08:33

Could your DM take your ds to the party then stay at your house for the weekend?

ItMustBeBedtimeSurely · 10/01/2017 08:35

I'd miss the party - just explain you've booked a weekend away - and then arrange a playdate and give his friend the present then. Parties aren't a great time to make friendships anyway, they're too busy and the kids will just be rushing around.

Oofimanoeuf · 10/01/2017 09:23

Halcyon DMs house is an hour and a half away so that's three hours at least either way. Traffic normally gets bad around here at 3/4pm anyway so we probably would lose out big time on our hotel booking.
I've asked dm to pick him up or take him to the party but dm and df have car issues ATM and I don't want to push my luck either. Mum hasn't been well so to take ds (as much as she loves him) is very kind of her.

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RhiWrites · 10/01/2017 09:43

Don't waste your time at the hotel. Stick to the plan and tell birthday party parents DS will be so sorry to miss it can you take the other boy out another time - your treat.

OverTheGardenGate · 10/01/2017 09:59

I'd take him to the party for the whole time and just go to the hotel straight afterwards

Seconded. But my DH would also be a bit miffed.

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kissmethere · 10/01/2017 10:06

I'd take him to the party and then straight over to DM's.
It is unfair but this would play on my mind for the weekend. A party is a different environment to a play date. That's how I feel but if you think ds will be ok about it keep to your arrangement.

HouseworkIsASin10 · 10/01/2017 10:08

Can you give your mum cab fare to do the drop off/pick up? I would hate for him to miss out.

HouseworkIsASin10 · 10/01/2017 10:09

Sorry just seen she is too far. Well I would go to the hotel late then.

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