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AIBU to ask if I am overreacting and if anyone here knows how to speak Hungarian?

(54 Posts)
SuspiciousAndCrazy Mon 12-Dec-16 23:12:10

1. My boyfriend has a LOT of female friends. None of them are ex's, but they're VERY close. One of them sends him close to 30-40 messages a day even though she's married and has a child. She pours her heart out to him about her marriage and her awful husband.
The other one messages him at odd hours of the night and punctuates her messages with hearts and kiss emojis.
The third one borrows money all the time.
The fourth one thinks he's her girlfriend and tells him intimate details of her sex life.

ALL of them piss me off and I've basically had enough. I know he isn't sleeping around with them nor does he have a history with them. But the closeness upsets me especially because he gets very obviously insecure of my male friends.

2. I know I'm crazy, but all these messages exchanged between him and these women are in Hungarian. Does anyone here know the language? And if you have time, might I run a few of these messages by you?

KindDogsTail Mon 12-Dec-16 23:16:11

I do not speak Hungarian, but wanted to say this must be difficult and upsetting for you.

I wonder if he is this close to them because they all feel homesick in a way, and in sharing the language they feel a particularly strong bond with each other? Does he have lots of good UK friends? If not, maybe he needs some.

BaronessBomburst Mon 12-Dec-16 23:16:54

Have you tried google translate?
Although it can also be way off the mark......

SuspiciousAndCrazy Mon 12-Dec-16 23:18:58

I've tried google translate but it's such a tricky language, that the literal translations don't work.

I need a native or bilingual person to help me a bit sad

And yes, he doesn't really have any friends here in the uk, all his friends are these girls from back home who (unfortunately) also live here now.

Leanback Mon 12-Dec-16 23:19:12

This isn't about the other women. It's about your boyfriend and the intrest he shows them over you.

ursuslemonade Mon 12-Dec-16 23:19:46

I am your woman.

SuspiciousAndCrazy Mon 12-Dec-16 23:20:06

What kind of women are these I wonder?!

I wouldn't send someone else's boyfriend kisses and hearts nor would I message him thirty times a day. FFS

SuspiciousAndCrazy Mon 12-Dec-16 23:26:52

Leanback- he doesn't neglect me to be fair.

Well, not anymore

There were a couple of instances in the beginning which I felt were over the line and I made it clear. He hasn't crossed those boundaries since then.

Arfarfanarf Mon 12-Dec-16 23:29:18

You should be asking yourself what kind of boyfriend cultivates these relationships with multiple women, lends them money, engages in or at the very least accepts sexualised talk.

And if you don't know why he's so worried about your male friends - it's because he's worried you'll do what he's doing.

He's crapping all over you and you're asking why women are talking to him? Why's he talking to them?

aforestgrewandgrew Mon 12-Dec-16 23:31:26

ursuslemonade do you mean you speak Hungarian?

SuspiciousAndCrazy Mon 12-Dec-16 23:32:08

The problem with him is, his inability to freeze people out. He has the same issue with some toxic make friends too. I don't know why he's like this.

I agree he shouldn't be engaging with them

I just don't understand WHY he would be so close with women he doesn't have a romantic relationship with.

SuspiciousAndCrazy Mon 12-Dec-16 23:32:52

I assumed she was grin

Would be unfortunate if she's one of the women he's messaging....

ursuslemonade Mon 12-Dec-16 23:43:36

I'm certainly not one of them messaging your DP

capricorn12 Mon 12-Dec-16 23:46:11

So do you not know what these messages actually say? Does he tell you what they mean and you just have to take his word for it? I don't think I could cope with that at all and I'm pretty laid back.

GrandDesespoir Mon 12-Dec-16 23:46:58

I don't speak Hungarian, but I do happen to know that the word for 'no' is the same as one word for 'sex', so you might be unnecessarily shocked if you run it through Google translate!

Fairenuff Mon 12-Dec-16 23:50:21

What does it matter? Dump him. Life's too short to be caught up in all his drama.

1horatio Mon 12-Dec-16 23:53:53

Sex and no means the same in Hungarian? Huh.

AgathaMystery Mon 12-Dec-16 23:54:17

Agree. How does it matter what the messages say?

Longdistance Mon 12-Dec-16 23:55:15

No is nem

Sex is szex

What words would you like translating?

YelloDraw Mon 12-Dec-16 23:55:36

You know if People Do Nothing... there is that great episode when Chipate D's Eastern European wife's 'brother' comes over to stay.... sounds a bit like tihs.

HerRoyalFattyness Mon 12-Dec-16 23:57:56

Menj a kurva anyádba is fuck off (or when translated literally it is something like "go into your mother")
That's the limit of my Hungarian though, sorry. (And I only know that because another poster on here told me, and she's Hungarian so she knows grin)

Longdistance Tue 13-Dec-16 00:01:01

Kurva is whore.

HerRoyalFattyness Tue 13-Dec-16 00:03:43

It might have been "go into your whore mother" then. It was definitely something along those lines.

mortgagefreesoon5 Tue 13-Dec-16 00:04:02

This isn't about needing to translate op, this is about setting up boundaries with your boyfriend.
You are clearly not happy with these "friends" ( I wouldn't be either!) so let it be known. It is not on. Be clear with what you want out of a relationship.
Your boyfriend is allowing this behaviour and by doing so, he is disrespecting you

SpareASquare Tue 13-Dec-16 00:05:30

Have you posted a similar issue before OP?

Clearly this is a problem. There is a lack of trust. If you find out what the messages say, and it's harmless, it's not going to change the fact that he DOES this and that is not harmless to your relationship.

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