I've been with dp 9 years in April and I am sick to the back teeth of the way he lets his ex talk to him and she gets away with it.
It's been a constant argument the whole time we've been together and I told him he has until xmas to get his act together and grow a pair of bollocks and tell his ex straight.
It's always been something that has bubbled away under the surface but a couple of weeks ago I lost it and have him the ultimatum.
It started this time when we were as a family funeral of all things. She called and sent a text asking "what the fuck he thinks he's doing closing his ds savings account" "He told his ex on his last visit to his ds that he would be closing down a savings account he opened for his son when he was born so he could put the money in his son's other account.
My dp is trustee on the old account and his ds is under 11. We looked at the account terms and conditions and the trustee is within rights to close the account on behalf of the child under 16. He went ahead and closed it and asked his ex for ds other account details but she refused to give them saying " she told him next time he sees ds they will all go and close the account together as it's ds account and he needs to be there" I've never heard such rubbish in my life, ds was a baby when the account was opened so why does he need to be there, it's not like ds has signed anything for the account. If he did what she wanted it would mean a 300 mile round trip to close the account when he sees ds and taking time away from the 4hour visit he has with him. Then she tells so that she wants dp off the other account (child trust fund) and she has asked for the paperwork for him to sign. My dp couldn't even remember being contact on the account let alone who it's with. If dp is the named contact on it then his ex has been opening his mail without permission and has no right to contact the people who have the account in the first place. The child trust fund isn't held in trust by dp but he's the contact and his ex is insisting he is trustee. No one, not even his ds can touch the money until he's 16 and then it only passes to him in name until he's 18 when he can then withdraw cash.
My dp just goes along with what she wants all the time and then moans to me about it. I've told him numerous times to tell her straight but then she uses ds to get to dp, this time it was the fact his ds has to speak to the people in the bank about the account dp closed. Load of crap as a child can't even open an account by themselves until they're 11 anyway and now she's going on about wanting the cash in a cheque (fair enough) and wanting to see proof of the amount withdrawn at closure unless she will take the matter further. I would love her to get legal advice and watch her get laughed at for being so petty.
It's getting stupid but dp says nothing to her about it and it's about time he manned up to her but he wont.
We're due to see his ds next month but I'm not sure I can go because I know I will say something to her but its not my place to.
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AIBU?
AIBU to give dp an ultimatum and grow a pair?
41 replies
chubbylover78 · 29/11/2016 08:34
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