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Aibu to feel sad for staying Christmas, Boxing Day and New year with

(59 Posts)
btfly2 Tue 22-Nov-16 22:04:08

Dh and our kids only...? No plans, no extended family nearby, no other people's invitations? It makes me feel rubbish, sorry...

JenBehavingBadly Tue 22-Nov-16 22:05:20

That's our xmas every year. It's more than people who live alone get, so try looking at it that you're lucky to have family to share it with.

wobblywonderwoman Tue 22-Nov-16 22:05:55

That sounds like pure bliss to me. We spend those days on our own.

Lilaclily Tue 22-Nov-16 22:07:11

I wish we could ;-)

Can't you travel to see your family sometimes at least ? Or they travel to see you? How far away are we talking?

Lilaclily Tue 22-Nov-16 22:08:01

The ' no other people's invitations' : do you ever invite anyone ?

CaraAspen Tue 22-Nov-16 22:09:38


clumsyduck Tue 22-Nov-16 22:10:44

Sounds perfect to me , I have to share my time with ds with his dad and my dp will likely have to work one of the days . sad maybe make next year one were you try and socialise a bit more than normal and maybe next year could invite friends for a Boxing Day meal ? I mean that nicely it is something I have done myself in the past to make more effort

goddessofsmallthings Tue 22-Nov-16 22:15:59

< stands aside to avoid being crushed by stampede of people who'd gladly change places with you >

There'll be umpteen families and single parents in your neighbourhood who are the same boat this Christmas, OP.

Could you host a Boxing Day brunch or New Year's Eve party for neighbours or go to a panto or other event on the 26th to inject a bit of colour into what may seem to you to be monotony but would be bliss to others?

harderandharder2breathe Tue 22-Nov-16 22:16:59

Have you invited anyone? If not yabu

wifeyhun Tue 22-Nov-16 22:17:50

Sounds fantastic.

The best Christmas day I ever had was my DH my dd and our newborn baby.

MissMarplesHat Tue 22-Nov-16 22:20:16

Sounds like bliss to me, we have to spend it with family members whom would otherwise be alone.

OhBlissOhJoy Tue 22-Nov-16 22:30:07

I'm going to be on my own sad

loobyloo1234 Tue 22-Nov-16 22:30:42

A lot of people spend Xmas by themselves OP. For that alone, YABU

ClimbingRoses Tue 22-Nov-16 22:31:25

Invite someone over then?

CouldIHaveIt Tue 22-Nov-16 22:31:54

Stealth boast? hmm

Sorry, you do actually sound upset about it 🙁💐

If you don't enjoy that, why not go out invite people around.

Frankly, sounds like bliss to me. I'm trying to work out how to stay home without upsetting everyone...

user1477282676 Tue 22-Nov-16 22:33:16

Do you not enjoy the company of your own immediate family?

NotEntirelyWhelmed Tue 22-Nov-16 22:35:06

I am sick with envy. That's my dream Christmas.

BlackNo1 Tue 22-Nov-16 22:35:11

YABU. You will have your family around you. There are others who aren't so fortunate. Enjoy it. Sounds perfect to me.

elQuintoConyo Tue 22-Nov-16 22:36:48

It depends. If you wish you could be with more family - parents, aunt/uncle, couple of cousins etc - and yiu canmot, then yes I would be sad, too.

If you have a rather 'challenging' family and would rather stick pins in your eyes than see them over Christmas, then your days sound delightful.

We will have fil+sil+bil over for dinner Christmas day (about 7pm), no one Boxing day, bugger all going on on New Year's (bores the tits off me!). But perhaps a meal with friends with similar-aged DC between xmas and 6th Jan.

Sometimes it is nice to be quiet - if it is one's choosing.

WyfOfBathe Tue 22-Nov-16 22:37:39

We're spending Christmas day just me, DH and kids. My parents & younger sister are coming over for a couple of days between Christmas and New Years (and they live abroad). I much prefer spending Christmas "just us".

We did invite over someone last Christmas, but she was a young, single person who was going to spend Christmas literally all alone (her flatmates were all going to their families' homes). I wouldn't think of inviting over a whole family, as I'd assume that they were happy just them.

If you want to spend Christmas with others, why not invite someone over to yours (or arrange to go out for lunch with people)?

Herhighness Tue 22-Nov-16 22:38:33

I think it sounds great,no extra beds to make up, no fussy eaters poking your lovely food around their plates, no visitors hogging the bathrooms, no letting them choose what to watch on tv,no getting up early before they do because you will look rude as a host, no forced smiling and laughter, you can drink to much, fart, and just be yourselves. Enjoy......... Oh and slob about in any comfortable clothing of your choice. Bliss.

SilverBirchWithout Tue 22-Nov-16 22:39:54

I do think the media and advertisers project an idealised view of Christmas celebrations with perfect families all gathered together from far and wide. That's why Christmas can be such a desperately lonely time for those people who feel somehow they are missing out on this perfect view of the celebrations.

In reality many people go on long journeys to meet-up with family members who irritate and annoy them to distraction.

Try to focus on your lovely family and what you do have, rather than buying in to the marketing world's false dreams. It is only 3 days of the year.

FlyingElbows Tue 22-Nov-16 22:41:14

That's us every year. They're just days like any other really. Don't believe the hype, everyone else is not blissfully happy and surrounded, worry free, by people who live them. Lots of people have a very pared down or downright miserable festive season.

Italiangreyhound Tue 22-Nov-16 22:44:19

I don't like having Christmas with immediate family, we did this once, last year, it just felt like a normal Sunday, church and lunch but with more food, mulled wine and presents.

I am an extrovert and like 'people' lots of them, not sure why I put 'people' in speech marks!

We also walk our friends dog, bit of a new tradition. Son complains a lot! He hates the cold. But I feel it is nice to get out and do something different.

We also see extended family before Christmas (early Christmas) and after Christmas (late Christmas) so we get three Christmases!

This year we have done what we did in the past and invited a single friend, our child's God parent. She has no family so really likes coming and we love having her. I like having another adult to chat to and she is brilliant fun, great with the kids.

LuluJakey1 Tue 22-Nov-16 22:45:40

You should be thankful that you have DH and your children to spend the day with. Many people are alone completely and will not celebrate Christmas at all.

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