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AIBU?

For thinking this is not a playdate?

30 replies

80schild · 12/11/2016 22:40

On Friday after school one of the mothers invited DS for a playdate at her house and then followed it up with actually, why don't we go into town for the market (it is just an average fruit and market) - so I said I would love to meet her, but I don't want to into town and could we do something a bit more local (it's about half an hour drive on a good day and difficult to park, probably a bit longer by public transport). I genuinely want to know if I am being unreasonable. DH said he would give anything a try once but I know I would be going to be polite and I question if the little ones would enjoy playing in the middle of a town centre.

OP posts:

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ineedamoreadultieradult · 12/11/2016 22:42

Does she drive or was she angling for a lift? And why would you go on a playdate? Surely the idea is your child goes and then you go collect them or they are dropped off.

bumsexatthebingo · 12/11/2016 22:44

I'd go. Get the kids some tea somewhere - they can chat and will have fun together. i quite often meet mum friends in town with the kids.

Laquitar · 12/11/2016 22:49

She suddenly remembered that she left the house very dirty/untidy?

monkeywithacowface · 12/11/2016 22:50

I probably would have gone but I'll go anywhere if there's chance of a coffee and cake somewhere!

00100001 · 12/11/2016 22:51

YABU for using the term "playdate"

80schild · 12/11/2016 22:52

No, she doesn't drive. I had a coffee with her and she seemed quite nice. I don't know whether she is angling but I am feeling a bit cautious as I have got a bit stuck in bad situations before with kids being expected to behave well in basically, places where they are bored stiff.

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80schild · 12/11/2016 22:54

What do you mean 001?

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Crisscrosscranky · 12/11/2016 22:59

I have got a bit stuck in bad situations before with kids being expected to behave well in basically, places where they are bored stiff

How old are your kids?! Do they have a reputation for being 'naughty'?

thatwouldbeanecumenicalmatter · 12/11/2016 23:02

No, she doesn't drive.

Bingo. As PPs have said I bet she's wanting to get some shopping done has organised a click and collect item from Argos that's massive, doesn't fancy hanging about waiting for public transport in rubbish weather and came up with this plan.

80schild · 12/11/2016 23:06

5 going on 6 - well behaved for his age but I think even the most tolerant 6 yo will be naughty if dragged round a market place with no opportunity to play.

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7SunshineSeven7 · 12/11/2016 23:07

I thought 'playdates' were for the benefit of the children more than the adults; i.e centering around things for the kids to do like soft play areas etc. Of course parents can get coffee etc.

I don't see how going to the town would benefit the kids; like PP have said though, it would certainly benefit her if you drove her there!

Sara107 · 12/11/2016 23:10

Yes, sounds like she's after a lift to the market! Can't imagine many kids having much fun at a veg market (the idea is bizarre). We sometimes meet up with other parents while the children play, but somewhere like a park with a handy cafe, not just wandering round the town. I think you've got it right, suggest somewhere more convenient and fun for the kids and stick to 'no' for the fruit market!

user1477282676 · 12/11/2016 23:12

Sounds like she wants a friend and was trying to make the playdate into an outing to get to know you.

At 5 going on 6, the children are surely old enough to be left with their friend's parents for a playdate? Why are you expected to stay?

PaulAnkaTheDog · 12/11/2016 23:12

Bingo. As PPs have said I bet she's wanting to get some shopping done has organised a click and collect item from Argos that's massive, doesn't fancy hanging about waiting for public transport in rubbish weather and came up with this plan.

Oh ffs. Seriously?! What utter bollocks! I hate this stupid mumsnet mentality that there is pretty much always an ulterior motive for things. Actual shite. I sometimes think the people on here are from a different planet...

user1477282676 · 12/11/2016 23:14

paul I agree. I think it sounds like a clumsy attempt to spend some time with the OP in the hope of friendship forming.

PaulAnkaTheDog · 12/11/2016 23:15

5 going on 6 - well behaved for his age but I think even the most tolerant 6 yo will be naughty if dragged round a market place with no opportunity to play.

This also annoys me. At 5/6 what is wrong with expecting your child to behave reasonably in a normal environment?

80schild · 12/11/2016 23:20

That's what I feel user. She works really hard and I think she doesn't do many playdates (if any) because of this. I want to form a friendship but just think it would be limited in a market.

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Bonobosown · 12/11/2016 23:21

Why would you stay with your kid on a "play date" (if I must use that term)

RabbitSaysWoof · 12/11/2016 23:22

It's boring for them, why are some posters making out the child must be naughty or never go to anything crap usually? I take my kid to boring things when I have to, but I would never think of spoiling an opportunity for him to play by turning it into a chore situation.

80schild · 12/11/2016 23:23

Paul - the other posts have attempted to be helpful. I haven't asked for your opinion on my child's behaviour or a commentary on other posters opinions. Please read my OP to see the question I have asked.

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TheDowagerCuntess · 12/11/2016 23:25

If you have a better term than 'playdate', then just use it. It's not obligatory, and while it's a bit of an Americanism, don't most people just use it as short-hand for 'getting the kids together to play'? I don't really get all the angst over it.

I agree that she's probably trying to turn it more into a thing the two of you can do together. But I'd also be a bit wary of doing something that the kids won't really enjoy. How much chatting will you be able to do, if you're having to keep a close eye on them all the time?

Witchend · 12/11/2016 23:27

My dc would have loved to go into town and look round market stalls with a friend at that age. Particularly followed by going for a drink and cake.

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80schild · 12/11/2016 23:27

Bono - sometimes I see it as a way of combining effectively. If I like the mother I see it as a good opportunity for catching up. Not all the time of course. And probably past a certain age not appropriate.

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80schild · 12/11/2016 23:29

Exactly dowager.

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PaulAnkaTheDog · 12/11/2016 23:39

I apologise op, I went off on a tangent due to your subsequent post and shouldn't have commented on it. I don't see anything wrong with the woman did though.

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