AIBU?? Girls clothes

[Tryingtostayyoung]

Really not sure if AIBU or not.

DD is abit small for age, normally in the size down to her age, sometimes two sizes, just depending what item it is (for instance skirts are always two sizes). She's quite shortish but also has a very lean slim build with a bit of a pot belly like most children her age.

DH's family insists on always buying her the size up from her age as "they refuse to buy a size that is smaller than her age and so she can grow into it" except all that happens is I have to find somewhere to store these clothes for sometimes over a year. I just don't understand it, they are 100% aware because they always say the above as they give it to her. So I have just taken to saying thank you and taking it bqck to the shop to change for a smaller size or just change for something else as I am literally at a point where I have a huge full box of clothes they have given her that are still to big.

So this is my AIBU, DH has just realised that I've been taking them and swapping them and thinks it's really rude but I think it's rude that after all these years they still ignore the size we ask them for. By the way we never ask them to buy her clothes or anything they just do, we're not struggling or anything like that, have a comfortable income etc. I am incredibly grateful but just don't understand why they ignore me.

[Dontpanicpyke]

How annoying they sound. Of course you can change them and your husband is being silly. He should tell them to either buy her clothes that fit her or something else.

[NoIsAnAnswer]

I can see both sides to be honest.

Think you just have to agree to disagree. It wouldn't cause an upset in my house.

[KayTree87]

YANBU I would do exactly the same. Strange people.

[PinkSwimGoggles]

tbh I would keep really really nuce things to grow into and donate everything else to the charity shop.

I only buy clothes that fit. for my dc it's 1 or 2 age sizes higher.

tbh I hate 'age' sizing. children are all different and many shops have different sizing. just measure dc and buy according to their size.

[Tryingtostayyoung]

This is exactly what I say!! Who cares what size it says on the label it's what fits her, MIL is entirely fixated on the age label. We have hardly any storage and I'm getting sick of tripping over this overfilled box of clothes, I've just peeked and there's things in there I remember her buying early last year! It's insane

[Tryingtostayyoung]

I really didn't think I was doing anything wrong but DH seems to be really upset with me and thinks I've been really rude. This is all started because MIL bought her a certain character jumper 2sizes to big!! I looked at the label and it cost £18! By the time it fits she might not even like that character so I went to the shop and it didn't go down to her size so I swapped for something else. I just think it's so wasteful

[Olympiathequeen]

Very irritating!

[Onlytimewilltell]

Buy your husband and mil a large zimmer frame and asked them to put them away for when they grow into it.

[LaundryQueenHatesIroning]

YANBU. It's perfectly acceptable that you exchange them for something she will get the wear out if now. I have a drawer full of clothes that MIL bought DS up to age 5. He's 10mo.

[Tryingtostayyoung]

Onlytimewilltell Love this

[Tryingtostayyoung]

LaundryQueenHatesIroning This is what she does!! I distinctly remember the Xmas when she was a couple months short of her 2nd birthday. She was still in 12-18months and she bought her all 2-3 clothes which didn't fit her till she was 3!!

[VestalVirgin]

I think it is really rude to knowingly buy things the wrong size for a child.

It's like "I disapprove that your child is so small, so where, have things you cannot use unless you conform to what I think your child should look like"

What is going to be next?

When your daughter is a teenager, will she be given clothes that are bigger in the chest than she needs because MIL thinks he has go grow bigger breasts, or will she be given too small clothes because MIL thinks she should lose weight?


Your husband is being unreasonable, and I really hope he will see reason, because otherwise I would advise you to divorce him.
A stupid and borderline abusive mother in law is bearable, a husband who agrees with her is not.

[finova]

Why's your DH bothered, she won't even know! I feel sorry for you having the hassle of swapping stuff.
I guess if she's not sure what size to get its easier to get bigger sizes than risk things being too small.

[d270r0]

Ha ha I'm the other way round! I always ask for clothes in the next size up as I hate when they are given something then it only fits them for a few months! I'd rather they wre hanging round for a while then they can be worn for longer, but then both my dc are tallish.

[calicocat88]

Ask to store the clothes at their house until they fit your daughter?
Then they might realise how annoying it is!!

[ToastyFingers]

MIL does this too, dd wears 3-4 bottoms and 4-5 tops.

Last month she gave me two summer skirts age 5-6.

They probably won't fit by next summer, so I have to either store them for 2 years or give them to the charity shop and lie when she asks about them.

My dds have loads of clothes (because I really like buying them outfits) and my side of the family buy a little toy or some chocolate buttons if they want to get the kids something but MIL just won't listen when I tell her we don't need any, let alone any 2 sizes too big.

[Tryingtostayyoung]

I'm so glad to hear all your opinions because after this morning I was thinking that maybe I'm behaving rudely. Me and MIL actually get on really well but she literally just ignores me when it comes to this situation

[littledrummergirl]

Arrange for dh to take her to soft play/trampolining so he has to be with her and put her in her new clothes.
See how he feels having to pull trousers up /fold legs up every two minutes.
You need to find the biggest size in her age before he leaves and be there so he doesn't leave early. If he complains tell him they are the right age group.

He might get the message then.

[RiverTam]

But if they always do it then does it matter, because you'll always have the clothes they bought last year in the cupboard.

I don't know, it's very kind of her to buy her stuff and it's like you're making a problem where there is one.

Toasty if your DD is in 3-4 bottoms now then why do you suppose she'll have grown out of 5-6 skirts by next summer? That doesn't really make sense.

[Tryingtostayyoung]

My DHs opinion is that we should either exchange for the actual size she needs or just continue to store but I just don't understand why? If you buy someone a present it's not meant to inconvenience them

[RiverTam]

But why does it, if she always does it? I don't understand.

I don't know how old your MIL is but back in the day buying children clothes to grow into was totally the norm, we all went around in jeans rolled over 4 times at the ankle, and waists safety pinned in. Buying clothes that only lasted a season would have been seen as very wasteful.

Just but away the clothes she buys now and get out the ones she bought last year.

[HeCantBeSerious]

I'm with you OP.

[SprogletsMum]

I have this but the opposite way around. My dc are big and I am crap at washing and shrink everything so they're all in the size above their age.
People always buy either their age size or below so no new clothes ever fit. It's so wasteful, I can store things that are too small for dd1 but with a 3 year age gap between her and dd2 I have to store them for ages. But for the other 2 it's just a total waste of money because they won't ever fit any of them. Drives me batty. It's lovely that people want to buy presents but weird that they buy wasteful presents that the dc can't use.

[dinosaursarebisexual]

It used to be the norm, when clothes were more expensive, it's generational. I still buy a size slightly too big for my kids.